Married work colleague relationship...

[GoldenMama]

I'm not married, he is, and we work together. Please tell me what a bad idea this would be!

Teens you don't sound like a particularly good person to me - you sound cruel. Leave Pogmella alone. You sound like you could be the OW to me.

Sorry Pogmella - I misunderstood.

Sorry Bacon I'm not OW but pog contacting managers at work and so on .I feel embarrassed for her, she needs to be talked into reality and not being encouraged to create more drama as someone above did.

teens my ex-husband did exactly this to me with a colleague after both of them lying to me convincingly for months and months, with me thinking that I was going out of my tiny mind, so certain was I that they were having an affair. I also contacted their managers when I finally had proof as I wanted the whole sordid thing out there, and yes, I wanted them to suffer as I had - they had put my through months of torture. And I don't use that word lightly. It is actually a normal reaction to a truly devastating betrayal.

OP - DO NOT go there. The pain and hurt that cheating wrecks on families is unbelievable. Although it was years ago and we have since divorced and moved on and are both happy, it remains the single most devastating and hurtful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

teens my ex-husband did exactly this to me with a colleague after both of them lying to me convincingly for months and months, with me thinking that I was going out of my tiny mind
Yes I gone through that too but after I found out,my husband assaulted me , thrown me across the room and held a knife to my chest saying he's going to kill me.. I contacted police, but not his work ...As if personal relationships somehow regulated in workplace law and there is a law against sex between colleagues...

Perhaps that's why your reaction was different teens?

Because when this all goes tits up, as it most likely will, odds are you'll get much more screwed over than him. The single woman looking in is often scapegoated over the married man, especially if he's more senior than you. Is he?

There are several threads around here where the OP is the OW - with a work colleague - and it's all gone tits up. They are a great harbinger if you'd like to see what the future would hold if you went ahead with it.

There are plenty more, but here's a start. And there are even more threads where the OP's partner had an affair, if you'd like to see the devastation the affair would cause his family.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2649364-Work-Affair
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1398658-having-an-affair-need-to-stop-but-dont-know-how
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3054307-Terrible-situation-Im-not-blameless-but-advice-please
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2917221-pregnant-from-affair

Normal reaction from pogmella I agree, although not that many of us have the balls to go through with it. I can tell you that the advise to be dignified and rise above it doesn’t make you feel better either, so each to their own and if it’s helping her then so be it.
The woman lied to her face and caused her more pain on top of that she’d already knowingly inflicted. She deserves what she gets.
Op, you know it’s an awful idea. Even it ends well for you, other people will very likely be devastated. In the end it comes down to how selfish you are I suppose.

Because it's a shitty thing to do to another woman.

Since the OP hasn't been back we'll assume she's got over her qualms.

Schnitzel, I was just thinking the same thing. Well, she went with her eyes wide open.