Making your DP/DH/DW packed lunch for work

[Sarahh2014]

Came across this article online and wondered how many people do this? I make my dh and don't see it as anything other than another job to do in the home but some people in the said article get offended..
m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1616121591830131&id=200144556761182

Why do you make his lunch, though? Why can’t he make his own?

Preparing food for both of you is different. But if it’s just for him, why is it your job?

I only skimmed that link but the same will still apply. Why is it her job to make his lunch interesting?

Yep I used to do it for dh in return for him coming and picking me up ( before I drove or had kids)
Do it sometimes now if he asks and I'm making the kids lunches anyway

No I wouldn't even think about dh's food needs if we weren't going to be together at that time.

When my DH goes into the office I always make his lunch. Sometimes i make extra dinner the night before and he takes the left overs.

Lived with my dh for five years and not made his lunch once. If I’ve made enough tea to have leftovers I’ll just box it up and he can take it if he wants. But he’s a grown man he can sort his own food out.

My mum and her sisters all make packed lunches for their husbands though so wonder if it’s a generational thing?

OccasionalNachos i just do it without thinking I suppose I'm a sahm at the mo if i worked for an employer hed be doing it himself

I would love to hear what other mums make their hubbies for lunch and snacks throughout the work day

I think the response she got was directly related to the way she phrased the question.

“Other mums”. “Hubby”. It’s a very odd and grating way to phrase a question about more interesting pack lunches.

If she’d said “I’m bored of making sandwiches everyday, can anyone recommend anything more inspiring” she wouldn’t have had this problem.

I’m sure lots of women and men happily make their partner’s lunch, but her post tacitly implies that “Mums” making lunch for “hubby” is a standard female household job. And it really isn’t.

I made my own lunch for work when DH was a SAHD. Didn't see why it was his job to make my lunch on top of everything else because before I got married and had kids I made my own lunch for work.

No I wouldn't even think about dh's food needs if we weren't going to be together at that time.

^^ This totally. I do evening meals.

I occasionally make lunch for myself and dp from dinner leftovers. He’s also quite handy with the soup maker so has made us both soup for our packed lunches before too, so it works both ways.

I think that’s fair enough Sarah. & of course if you’re happy to make the lunch then that’s fine. If I made sandwiches for me then i’d Be happy to do a round for DH as well, but I tend to take soup or a tub of chicken, avocado & boiled eggs out with me & he screws his face up at a lot of my food choices 😊

In general it’s all a bit wifeworky for me. Like a poster above said, a generational thing. My mum used to make my dad sandwiches.

Me and my OH make each other’s lunches unless he doesn’t want what I’m having or I don’t want what he’s having and although we don’t exactly take turns it generally is fair on how it’s done.
I’ve never thought about what he snacks on during the day beyond seeing him put it in the shopping trolley and I doubt he does about what I eat during the day. He’s an adult at the end of the day.

I do occasionally, if he's ill or very tired. He makes his own lunch though, like a big boy. I make my own too, like a big girl.

I'm expected to.
Just like I am expected to make his breakfast.
Iron his work clothes.
It's me "supporting him" because HE the great man, WORKS.
I hate it.
I let the cats lick his ham when I make them.
It makes him feel powerful and in control.

BinGo that doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all. Can you get a job?

I work shifts and my mum looks after my baby once a week and picks my eldest 2 from school. Until my husband gets home at 6. I prepare all meals for my children and my mum during this time. Every week without fail she asks what I have made for my husband for his tea. When she gets home she then makes a ' late tea' for her and my dad. It is totally unthinkable that she should eat with the children and leave dad to make his own food. She still marvels that my husband is capable of choosing and preparing his own meals. He also makes his own sandwiches every day. He is going to eat them and I have enough meals to think about. So generational in this instance.

Ye I don't mind doing it if I ever don't fancy it tho I'll tell him he's doing his own that day

I think if you are both happy with that arrangement that's fine. I personally think it seems a bit like one parent is acting like the adult and treating the other like a child incapable of managing their own life. If my husband packed my lunch for me, I would feel like it was a bit controlling or like he didn't think I could somehow cope enough as an adult to make my own lunch. I wouldn't like that. I think I'd feel like it was similar to someone ordering for me at a restaurant. I can choose my own food, thanks. But I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily if you are both happy with that - you don't mind doing it and he doesn't feel offended by it. My husband would be freaked out if I started to make his lunches. I think he already thinks it's slightly controlling of me to insist on cooking every night and rarely letting him cook (I am particular about food, like eating healthy, lots of fruit and veg, whereas he takes a much more laidback attitude and would be happy to cook with more packaged food and ready meals, which I don't like).

My mum makes my stepdad's lunch for him every day. He works from home (she's now retired). My stepdad is perfectly healthy and able, drives, a scientist, works in a professional job, very well paid, etc. He is literally like 10 feet away from the kitchen has plenty of time to take a break from work (he usually goes to the gym or for a run midday, so time isn't an issue), but she thinks he couldn't manage to make his own lunch (I truly mean that in the sense that she actually thinks he wouldn't know how to do it) and I think she feels fulfilled knowing she did something productive with her time (retired, no children at home obviously, no grandchildren nearby, etc.). She also prepares all his food in advance if she happens to go away and leaves him at home, like an entire week or two of meals. She comes to stay with us for a week or so at a time about 3 times a year. She spends about 2 days cooking before she goes. Pre-bakes him his jacket potatoes and chops up salads for each day. Goes and gets his favourite takeaways and portions them out into individual serving sizes. I think it's completely weird. But it makes them happy, so more power to them. I don't even make up a shopping list for my husband before I go away on trips. He's left to fend for himself.

Anyone who complains about what they're given can sling their hook. 'Bored' of what someone prepares you, then get your own. It's funny, back when I was single and worked crazy hours, I still had to make my own food, do my own laundry, clean my own home or pay someone to do it. It's amazing how many people believe that doing just the working part is a free pass to check out of the rest of life if that person is married or has kids.

I do it when I have time (I'm a SAHM, he works full time) Normally while I'm preparing dinner in the evenings, and setting up for breakfast the next day I'll make him some sandwiches and put them in the fridge. I do all dinners in the week because he doesn't get home until 7:30pm so if I was waiting for him to be home to cook we'd never eat until late.

He doesn't expect me to though, and that's why I don't mind. If I haven't had time, I'll say to him that he needs to make his lunch before we go to bed so that he can do it ready for the morning. If he whinged about it then I'd stop doing it completely!

Trying to for years.
It's shit really.

Bingo, that sounds toxic but the bit about the ham licking gave me a chuckle

It never occurred to me to make a grown adults lunch. My ten year old can get his own snack for school, pretty sure my grown partner can feed himself. I would never expect him to make my lunch or get me ready for work, Jesus, that's my responsibility.

My ex always made my food for work because he was cooking his and he figured he might as well shove my food in a box too. And vice versa, if I suddenly had a urge to cook unlikely I would make enough for him

Seems to be a generational thing for us. When DW started working again, I took on mornings and worked later while she worked early and did evening meals. Obviously that meant me making the kids and my own lunch in the morning. Apparently MIL (not in my earshot) was most surprised that my DW wasn't making lunches the night before, both for the kids, and for me. My jaw dropped - why would she make my lunch? Just mentally wrote it down as one of those generational things...

My dh clearly read the 1950s manual on married life and I had no idea I was supposed to be at his beck and call. He sat at the table one lunch time and waited , I was in the lounge bf dc 2. After a while he got up stormed out and said " I can see I'm not getting any lunch here" . I was meant to stop b. feeding, and rush to his side. His mum was like that for his dad and therefore so should I be. I like to remind him I am NOT his fucking mother and this is 2017.
I would make it if I wanted to but I was EXPECTED to, which riled me.