Doctor Foster

[debbs77]

OMG. Had this show recommended to me today.

I find it quite hard to watch, having had my ex husband cheat on me, and I'm holding my breath a fair bit, but I'm loving how strong she Is!

Everyone in parminster is awful...

One of the bits I struggled with was Simon blaming Gemma for losing his family and yet he was happy to discard his first family when he was shagging the OW.

I don't think two wrongs make a right TBH.

Simon is weak and a crap father but he is right Gemma deliberately engineered the loss of his second family out of spite about his behaviour towards her and Tom...

All I see is that he now has two messed up kids TBH.

Offred - absolutely!

Well she might have engineered it but it wouldn't have worked if he hadn't shagged her, so all his own fault imo.

IMO she's responsible for what she does and he is responsible for what he does and their children need them both to be more interested in them than in revenge.

What has Gemma done to make life worse for Tom?

His dad had the affair, his dad announced his triumphant return via party invitation, his dad turned him against his mum, his dad threw him out of his house.

I can't think of anything she has done to hurt Tom, except he overheard something he wasn't meant to overhear.

I do know they're not real people, honest!

err... pretending she had killed him, forcing Simon out of his life, being weirdly emotionally dependent on him but not at all close to him, continuing this 'war' with Simon to the virtual exclusion of anything and everything else, the weird creepy wine incident with his best friend...

Simon's a crappy selfish and disinterested person and he's done plenty to harm Tom as well but Gemma has not been a very good parent to him... I thought it was good that she took on board what Anna said about how Tom was suffering and she tried to work with Simon briefly but went straight back to the crazy behaviour...

Simon's Bad parent list is;

Having an affair with a teenager, getting ow pg, allowing Gemma to run him out of town, endangering the family home because of his dodgy dealings, allowing Kate to kick Tom out, engaging in the war of revenge with Gemma, physically abusing Gemma, exposing Tom to risky stuff in order to be a 'cool parent', bad mouthing Gemma...

Neither of them are good parents but just because Simon is such a crappy dad doesn't mean Gemma gets a free pass, she's done things which harm Tom too.

At the time the first series was on, I was going through the process of finding out about my XH's affair. So many parallels. And at the time, I didn't see Gemma as unhinged at all - her reactions seemed perfectly reasonable. Not sure I dare watch the second series....

Motherofterriers I completely concur. Also, unless you have been through anything like this sort of scenario, you will never get it. I struggled with the first series and had to stop watching it, it was like listening to my ex-h and OW almost word for word. This series has been pretty enjoyable actually...you might like it

I don't think it is necessarily completely down to needing to have gone through something like this...

A lot of people have gone through things like this, I think the effect it has on your psyche is quite different for different people.

I also think how much you relate to Gemma, bearing in mind it is drama, probably very much depends on how recent your experience is.

Mine was almost 12 years ago.

I did catch myself saying to my DD recently when she played 'jar of hearts' and said 'is this about (recent x) for you mummy?' 'No, it reminds me of your dad. I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that strongly for anyone ever again TBH'

Which surprised me...

Thinking about it if this had been on 12 years ago I'd probably not have been able to even watch it.

Offred I am sure people are affected differently. However, in my world, I've seen many Gemma's including me to an extent (although most of that behaviour was in my head rather than actually acted out). It's been four years for me and the pain and grief is still pretty acute at times although thanks to extensive counselling, much much better than it was. I couldn't have watched this even two years ago. What has struck me are the quite astonishing parallels to my own situation, particularly the things said and done by the character Simon. Quite painful to watch but also a reminder that I have done pretty well considering the quite evil behaviour that was inflicted on me and indeed my children. It is drama but for many it is a case of art imitating life.

I didn't mean to imply 'it's made up not real', sorry if it came across dismissively. I meant more that it is a drama so you can expect it to be dramatic and geared around provoking emotions IFSWIM?

I remember crazily and hysterically crying and listening to pink's '18 wheeler' on repeat and dreaming almost every night about stabbing him to death in the immediate aftermath...

I've stupidly read spoilers for next week online I'm angry at myself it's what I get for googling!
If they're true I cannot wait to see everyone's reactions on here!!

Am I the only one to find the sex scenes totally unconvincing? In all of them, Suranne Jones keeps her (apparently same) bra on. I don't have huge experience in these matters, but I've never known a woman to do this. And, no, I've no great desire to see Suranne Jones' tits - they could have filmed her from behind.

No, I find hem unconvincing too...

Well gemma /Suranne she is rather phwoar!

Bra on or off.

Joining this thread after last nights episode..

I find the sons situation very very upsetting. It's fiction I know, but this does go on in the real world.

After listening to Simon's 'reassuring' comparison of sex with both wives, I don't think he would've been offered the spare room

Simons character is awful, Gemma is (understandably) vengeful. If this was real life, and Gemma was my friend, I'd be telling her to stop this behaviour in order to preserve her sanity (and the lives of her patients)

Simon deserves all he gets, and Kate got what goes around..(yes I know it's not real

I think the writer did a brilliant job in the "Simon eats spaghetti" scene. At the same time as he's happily chowing down because normal service is resumed, Kate is suddenley realising that it's all wrong that she's "kindly" told him it'll take her time... I was wearing headphones while watching and I'm SURE the sound was distorted to really exaggerate his clumsy arrogant spaghetti slurping...

Initially I did feel quite stunned for him at the end of last night's episode, BUT he'd made it clear he was out for revenge with Gemma when it was all ultimately his responsibility from day 1 of his affair with Kate...

And just by the by, it was because of series 1 that I started lurking on MN. I had been following comments about Dr F on another website until a poster there mentioned the responses on MN. My curiosity piqued, I wandered over and had a lurk... and then a lurk at other threads and THEN I started to acquire the strength to make changes to the way I was living my dismal, dismal life... 😊

cashew I too think the whole normality (from simon's perspective) was spot on, and I also noticed a distinct 'slurping' sound. She's forgiven me so I can stuff my face..such arrogance.

Well done for taking steps to making changes to your life, it isn't easy

Gemma forced Kate to face the reality of her marriage. Unlike Gemma (unless there is a twist), Kate knows from the start that Simon is a consumate liar and a cheat. And the penny has finally dropped that being the wife is a lot less fun than being the mistress, especially in your home town where everybody knows that you were the OW.

Improving, exacatly. Kate tried to build happiness on someone's unhappiness.

Offred, oh I know you didn't! Honestly, I was just venting a bit, I know you've been through similar. for you too .

I have a group of friends who I have met through MN and we have all been cheated on and been through some absolute nightmares. We are now an epic support group and our lives are all slowly getting back to some sort of normality and we laugh a whole lot more than we cry these days. What is interesting, given the dynamics in Dr Foster, and indeed what Cashew said above, with only one exception, all of our ex-h's have been vengeful, some more extreme than others. Yet every single one of them cheated and caused the situation they now find themselves in. I find it fascinating psychology. Real life isn't as much fun when it's not longer secret and exciting it appears. Who knew?