Hi am am 60 with two children, both grown up.
I have lived on my own for a long time now and I am happy. I am busy and have a lot of friends. I was in a relationship which ended 18 months ago and I haven't dated since then until recently. I wanted to learn to love and appreciate myself and to enjoy being on my own. I am retired but I have part time work and do voluntary work, go to the gym and sing in a choir and see friends ,I go away on holidays and short breaks on my own.
I met a man a few weeks ago and I have been on a few dates with him, I like his company. I don't find him sexually attractive yet, but then again I have always gone for men who were bad characters, so I see this as a good thing. He is a normal bloke, intelligent and sensitive.
I am OK for money, not well off but Ok.He was a lecturer but when he retired he went back to university , and he doesn't have any money, just his pension and some benefits. He doesn't drive and he doesn't have a passport. He does have 10 children from ages 5 to mid 30's. I don't mind going Dutch when we go out but my ex took me for granted as far as money was concerned and I am wary now.
I have dropped him off at his house and he said that he is too embarrassed to let me in, and from the outside I can see why, it's a wreck.totally falling down and not looked after.I don't want to go in!!. Last night for the first time I asked him if he wanted to stay the night. This morning he apologised because he had left a "skid mark" on my sheets. When I looked later it was much more than a skid mark, it was disgusting and I had to wash the sheets and the mattress topper cover. All this is extra work for me. We shared a bottle of wine but he spilt his glass all over my sofa, my cushion and my new solid oak coffee table. I calmly cleared the mess up and put everything to soak. But I am disabled and it has taken me all day washing and cleaning to put everything right.
I have worked hard for everything I have and I love my home, I feel that it has been disrespected although I do understand that accidents happen.
He is very keen on me and he is a gentle man, with good morals , goes to church etc but I can't put up with a 63 year old who acts like a younger student and who dresses like one.
I just don't know what to do. I cannot ask somebody to change, but he would have to. I feel such a snob. What would you think and do?