DP walked out 5 weeks ago - we were engaged, planning a wedding, I'm now 31 weeks pregnant and we have two children.
He stated depression and not seeing our relationship working - things weren't great but a shock to the system.
We've spoken every day since. He messages every day. He has come over on his days off and some days after work.
He's lost weight, new clothes - most of his stuff is still here. Living at his mum's. We've still been sleeping together. I saw things improving in that we were getting on, we were making plans for birth of baby, and it seemed there was a lot of flirting - like when you first meet someone in the heady days before you get together.
It's been shit but there almost seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel.
Last night he told me that he was taking someone out for dinner. Second date. First was last week - he left my bed and went out with her. She's his ex girlfriend - they've been messaging for three weeks (he says).
It feels worse than him leaving - it's not quite cheating but I feel so hopeless and betrayed and humiliated.
Last night I felt so shocked I couldn't stop shaking, thought I was having labour contractions.
He phoned up crying. Saying he was still in love with me. That he didn't want to hurt me. That he still wanted to be around when the baby was born and still see our children as much as possible. I've told him that we can't be friends and we have to formalise things.
He's still going to see her - although he cancelled last night saying he felt like a shit. He thinks he was honest. It turns out his mum refused to see me until he'd told me because she didn't want to lie to me.
I feel the absolute lowest I've ever felt. I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to have to do all the stuff I do now and have a newborn all on my own. I feel like I've been left to deal with everything and he's living the good life with no responsibilities.
I also want to message her and say something - tell her that just before he was with her he was in bed with me - that he's been sleeping with me, that I'm not some crazy, I'm just heavily pregnant and he's an arse, but I also know I will just seem unhinged.
I've deleted all social channels. I'm seeing the GP today about stress related migraines. I just don't know how to get through this. I don't want to.