Learning to love ourselves: ditching the dating scene support thread.

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

After starting a thread on why I had decided to give up the dating apps after yet another failed relationship, I realised that lots of others were in the same situation. This thread is for me and anyone else who wants to take a break, temporary or permanent, from the dating scene.

For me, dating had become a negative and destructive cycle. I'm taking some time to learn to be alone and that way, if I ever do return to dating, I will know that I'm making choices with pure motives. I was using dating as an emotional crutch.

So far, I've deleted all the apps. Feels great not to have that constant, intrusive ping and the bombardment of 'hows u hun.' I've also downloaded a couple of good books, Stephen King's 'IT' (loved the remake) and a book about a woman who lives completely alone, in the Scottish highlands, in an area without mobile phone signal. Not sure if I could cope without the mobile, but maybe I can learn to be alone, without necessarily being lonely.

Join me?

Welcome onewinged angel. I know what you mean about the stress of dating. It gets too much. I tend to think that you have a certain amount of headspace for each aspect of life and when it all gets too much - dating has to go.

I've met a couple of friends through mumsnet and through meet up actually. I'm hibernating for the winter so I don't feel the need to go out and socialise too much right now. I am really taking being single to extremes and appear to have become a hermit!

Can I join you please? Been separated from Ex-H for 18 months. Reached a happy place, felt settled and content and thought dating would be a good idea.

Utter disaster. The 1st made me feel shit about myself after it became obvious it was a hookup not dating. The 2nd was a psycho. The 3rd bloke I saw twice, liked a lot, slept with (I know...bad move) and then he told me he wanted to keep seeing me for sex whilst he kept dating to find his Mrs right...

Feel disgusted with myself. Had only ever had sex with ex-h until now. I just feel used and depressed and needy and unloved.

All dating apps deleted. Back to letting Bake Off be the highlight of my week.

Going to join the gym to see if I can get myself feeling better about my body.

I just want to feel happy again.

Yeah, I think not dating is a good start towards feeling happy.

I feel happy today. I have a job I love, colleagues I enjoy spending time with and family and friends (of a sort. But I have one good friend, which is a good start.)

I'm quite Pollyanna-ish, I think. But it does help with general life satisfaction!

Onanotherday -I'm 53 and have come out of an abusive relationship. I'm not ready for anything else at the minute but by God it all sounds bloody depressing. Who wants a dick pick!!! What's wrong with them - who told them it's a definite way you will get a date!!! No class. I've also been looking at the dating thread. As they say it's better to be lonely and single than to put up with a prat!!

I'm going to join some meet up groups and just get out when ex has our son. As long as I'm busy on one of the weekend days I'm usually ok.

Feel tons better. Have a Tesco meal deal for two just for me, a new car, a bottle of red and Netflix. Who needs a boyfriend?

I'm jealous of your food for two for one! What did you watch on Netflix? I'm just coming to the end of Gilmore Girls and looking for a new addiction!

happy doing I'm intrigued by your post. Would you mind enlightening me as I think this is part of my issue. Pm. If it's easier. Thank you

I'm watching Power. It's really good! I definitely think I will get used to being single.

Bumping this for any newcomers.
Feel a bit sad with all the 'aibu to feel sad that I'll never have sex again' type threads. I don't want that to be my future but I don't want to date again when it's not led me anywhere.

If you like this thread theres a Reddit WGTOW group - women going their own way.
www.reddit.com/r/wgtow/

Hi all
Count me in, I've deleted the apps tonight. I've just read this thread and am nodding in agreement with so much of it!
I'm nearly a year out of a long marriage. I started OLD a few months ago. Have tried lots of different sites and its the same story everywhere. I'm fed up with the bores, time wasters, ghosters and the middle aged men who just want to date someone young enough to be their daughter (boak).
Time to concentrate on me and forget about men for a while.

Hi Ruby, welcome

I can't believe the relief I gave up apps for October and half way through I feel magic