The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

[Mouseface]

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld.

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker!

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives.

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

^Waves weakly from sick bed^ to everyone.
I should paint a big red cross on my end of the bus ❌ but at least it's made me not fancy any alcohol at all. 🤢
I need to be better tomorrow as I have to pack up the garden furniture, planters etc as Ophelia is bang on course for my place. Being on top of an exposed hill isn't fun when it's windy!
Sorry not to name check everyone , I am keeping up with you all though and cheering you on through the lurgy.

Well I'm feeling pretty awful this morning. A friend had a massive go at me last night, at a party, accusing me of horrible behaviour when drunk. I thought I had been a lot better recently and I think she is being unfair. But it's given my very fragile self-esteem a massive knock. I feel absolutely miserable.

Mint - how are you feeling today? Hope you had a good sleep and are up to the day's exertions - good luck!

Ruby - that's tough. I'm sorry. Did you get a chance to put your side of the story? Please don't lose heart - hang on to the fact that things have been improving and don't let her get you down. It makes me so angry that people think they have the right to judge in this sort of situation. Yes, we've all behaved badly on occasion when under the influence, but it's like we're then fair game for criticism. No-one looks at the reasons behind our drinking and behaviour, which can stem from so many different causes and I agree, low self esteem is often one of them. Hang in there lovely and don't let this undermine all your hard work.

Thanks Fox
She was really harsh. She is a close friend and knows I am going through a bad time (marriage breakup). I just feel awful now. I have no one to comfort me and make me feel any less shit. I'm too ashamed to be able to confide in any one in real life. I'm sat here crying my eyes out.
I feel that a label has been put on me that I can't shift, of the drunk trouble maker.

I thought I'd been doing ok in moderating and watching my behaviour. I just think people think I'm a drunk idiot now

Ruby I'm wary of commenting on RL friendships here because one can never know the full score, but it sounds as though she really is behaving badly. If she knows you're having a tough time anyway, then it is totally unreasonable of her to lash out at you and add to your worries. I'm so sorry. Do you think there is any point in trying to talk to her or even writing to her, or is it maybe better to put some distance between you for a bit, and concentrate on just wrapping yourself up in cotton wool and looking after yourself? I'm worried that you should have an outlet to talk though - is there scope for a counsellor maybe? I've found that really helpful in the past, just having someone on judgmental and totally in your corner?

What have you got planned today? Can you get out and do something positive? I am having an 80s fest this morning and clearing up the prodigious mess in the house to Tears for Fears. No idea where the desire to do this came from but it's super cathartic. Not sure what your equivalent might be, but I hope you can listen to what your heart needs today and find at least some distraction and hopefully some comfort. And we're all here for you too.

Thanks Fox
Ironically I have been seeing a counsellor but thought I was doing a lot better and she is moving away, so have just had my last session.
I know the friend has a bit of a point about my behaviour in the past but I thought I'd been a lot more controlled recently. It just felt like she's put a label on me that I can't escape from now.
I'm going to take DD swimming in a while and then do food shopping, a bit of housework and then cook a nice dinner for me and the 3 kids.
It's times like this that I really feel the loneliness of being single. And the ex, despite his shitty treatment of me and workshy nature, has walked straight into a new relationship and new job. He's moving away to live with her, leaving me and the kids behind.

Evening All Brave Babes

Lux wonderful post, very insightful I hope you've had a lovely weekend

Fox awesome job at your DC party - huge well done you are doing an amazing job Keep going honey it just gets better and better

Ruby it sounds like you've got alot going on. Your mate should be more supportive than she's being, if it were me, I would put some distance between you and get in touch with friends you haven't spoken to for a while, or family. Get yourself out so that you can meet some new people - keep fit, book club, evening class, running club, a day out somewhere you've always wanted to go. I've been single for 7 years now (came out of a 20 year relationship with a broken heart) it does get lonely, but there are so many pluses to being on your own, you call the shots, you can do what you want when you want, your house can be a tip if you want, you can spend the day watching chick flicks, doing those self care treatments etc etc. Sounds like your X is a twunt and you're better off out of it. Concentrate on YOU and looking after YOU. I hope you had a good day with your DC and that you enjoyed your lovely dinner. Keep going, you are doing really well - friends can be judgy at times, you don't have to take any of it onboard. You are an amazing babe, keep hold of that. It's a new week tomorrow, get yourself a plan that evolves around YOU

Hoolie I hope you manage to get back to London and get to the walk in centre - your parents sound lovely. Be strong and stick with us, dust yourself down, put your big girl knickers on, shoulders back, tits out and do it. Please don't worry about knowing anyone there, they are there to help you - there are so many of us in the health sector who have alcohol, drug and mental health issues it comes with the territory, me thinks. Keep posting

Margie luffs you babe x

Baby if you're lurking

Elba how you doing? hope you're ok

Ma epically of your brush with ginger one. Lovely photo, I love autumn. Have a good week

Mint I hope you get better soon lovely x

Beaches sunshine, hope you and yours are all well over the ocean x

Hold please don't beat yourself up about your momentary increase, you are aware of it and you are doing really well. Today is another day and next week is a fresh new one.

This is turning into a mega post (sorry!) I've got a disciplinary meeting on Tuesday morning, a colleague has put a grievance against me (back in August) neither of us were suspended during the investigation (we should have been) and the atmosphere at work has been shite. I really need to leave this job, it brings me very little happiness anymore and it's all pretty shit really But I remain positive and upbeat - I will be putting a grievance in about their lack of sticking to policies and procedures as they have behaved like utter wankers over all of this. Onwards and upwards.

Love to you all, sorry not to name call everyone.Keep going one day at a time x

Oh I love this bus. Great and inspiring posts today.

MsHoolie please stay with us, NOTHING gives your DH the right to have done those things to you. I hope you can find a way to get the help you need. Have you shown your parents the word Ma you wrote about your husband? Might it help to see it spelled out?

MintToBe I hope you’re well enough to rejoin the back seat soon!

Ruby, that sounds painful. I hope you told her how hard you’re trying.

I’ve had moderate days yesterday and today, ultra busy and still think I’d like more wine but haven’t succumbed. Changing to red has helped. Coming to bed early also helps me as I’m lazy somehow just being away from the kitchen helps.

Spanna hello flower, I have been lurking lately and attempting another new leaf - am on day 21 . Your work situation sounds difficult, I honestly can’t imagine how anyone could have a grievance against you, they are clearly in the wrong Seriously, I hope it all goes well on Tuesday and you get to lodge your own complaints on their poor handling of it all and then, voilà, a brand new shiny job appears on the horizon just for you. x

Hello to all brave babes , I am a long time babe who uses her lifelong ticket every now and then. I often lurk and cheer you all on from my sofa in Canada and I can tell you that the wine witch is alive and well over here too.

Sending love to you all

I have utterly fucked up today. I think I've ruined everything.

MsHoolie we are all here for you.

Morning all, sorry to see that there are babes who are having a really hard time. A big hug and best wishes to you.

I did 56 af days and then had a trip to the sidecar, I'm back on the bus today. I'm ok about it but appreciate that staying af would be a much better choice! I've managed 3 sober months this year and I'm going to keep going, see if I can do another month before the end of the year.

Sorry for the me,me,me post. Much love and care to all

guggenheim You’ve been really supportive to me and to others. 56 days is brilliant. I think this thread is fine for ‘me me’ posts, I think all of us have times when we need help and times when we’re feeling stronger and in a position to help others. Keep going

guggenheim just remember one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up.

MsHoolie thinking about you. Hang on in there. You have a big DH problems as well as an alcohol problem. Are you getting any help from domestic violence support - because that is what you are suffering. I'm sure it all feels like too much to deal with as well as the drinking but your DH behaviour is going to be contributing to your mental stress levels. If you haven't already, please speak to the National Domestic Violence Helpline .

I am feeling very bruised and battered after my argument with friend on Saturday. She said some truly appalling things. And has half-apologised for being "blunt" but the truth is that she has actually accused me of a criminal offence. She wants me to forgive her but I actually can't at the moment. Because if (a) she believes what she said, she should not want anything to do with me. And if (b) she doesn't believe it then she should never have accused me of such a thing in a million years. I am going to keep my distance from her for now.

And I didn’t think your post was ‘me me’ anyway.

Unfortunately I think said friend is very angry with me but sees me as a soft touch who will not stand up for myself. Well I didn't want to cause a scene at another friend's party, so I walked out rather than continue the argument. But I will not be spoken to like that by anyone.

In a nutshell, I tried to throw myself in front of a train yesterday and had to be pulled back my elderly parents and members of the public.
I was then detained under a section 136 and spent an hour locked in the waiting room with 4 Police. This is the second time I’ve been put on a 136 in 2 weeks and assessed under the Mental Health Act after waiting for 7 hours in what is basically a padded cell.
The social worker told me that, after a long deliberation, he wasn’t going to detain me but it was a very close call and that I’m basically on my final warning and, if this happens again, I will definitely end up being sectioned. 3 weeks ago, I was still working in a really responsible job. It feels like my life has completely unravelled in the space of a couple of weeks.
I feel so awful about what I’ve put my parents through and the total drain I’ve put on the Police and ambulance service over the past few weeks. This is my 16th day away from my children.

Hello lovelies and thanks! I'm ok. I'm drinking less & less since I joined the bus but something I've accepted is that it's going to take a long time to undo bad habits. I'll just keep on plodding on and yeah, one day I'd like to stay sober for years not just a couple of months at a time.

ruby had your friend been drinking? She sounds very angry indeed maybe she was taking it out on you? I wouldn't apologise or explain or jump to forgive her right now. I'd give it some time- see what happens. surely if people can see that you're doing your best to deal with your drinking then they should be supportive. Odd isn't it, how people react when they see friends taking ownership of a problem?

Misshoolie how's it going today lovely? Any better?

Ooh I downloaded the 'I'm done drinking' app and am now obsessed- apparently I've saved a pound already. Ha ha! Don't bother with the drinkaware one, it's bollocks.

Oh I'm sorry cross post- misshoolie I'm so sorry, you must feel dreadful. Undoubtedly, your parents just want to be able to help and love you. You WILL get better and you will be back with your children when you are just a little better.

People do get better and come back to responsible jobs and sober lives. Your job may have contributed to you getting ill in the first place , I'm going to suggest that it MAY be a teeny bit stressful. Ahem...

Just hang on there, Hour at a time. Please consider going to a meeting, even if it's bloody irritating. Sorry lovely I need to go. Take care.

Can I hop on the Bus ?
Have been on the DRY thread on and off but its very quiet over there.
Was AF for well over a year but "just one"got me but quickly realised what was happening and stopped

Day 100 for me today
Everything in my life is better without alcohol.Keep going babes
So a single please

Hello guggs lovely to see you and lovely posts. I too am obsessed by that app (tho it is a mixed blessing as I have spent more than I have saved on random bits of frivolity which i convince myself I 'deserve'). How have you managed to get yours set to pounds rather than dollars - did I download the wrong version of the app? Or maybe you are just very sensibly doing the conversion!

Oh MsHoolie I am so sorry.
I have been there with a family member who was on a s136 after doing similar thing. IIRC you are a mental health nurse so you know what being an inpatient is likely to involve if it comes to that?
Have you been on the Mental Health board here on MN. It may help. There are people there who are going through the same. One day at a time, or even one minute at a time.

thanks Guggenheim she is a good friend and has stood by me through difficult times. She doesn't know the extent of the drinking problem. I'm reluctant to confide in her as I think she would judge and not keep it to herself. I think we need a bit of time apart from each other for now.

Hi babes - just hoping for a hug - not feeling the best today - hope everyone else is having a good Monday

doris have a hug
I’m not doing too well myself to put it mildly. There are some truly lovely babes on here. Stick around. I have so much respect for everyone on here because at least we’re all trying- with various degree of success. Hugs to everyone whatever stage you’re at with this battle x