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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

999 replies

Mouseface · 09/09/2017 15:55

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld. Smile

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker! Grin

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives. Smile

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

OP posts:
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29
RealHousewifeOfLapland · 13/10/2017 10:33

21 today!! Days that is not age as I'm over twice that. After MsHoolie honest post about units, I sat down and worked out just how much I was drinking. An average of 100 units a week. Still need time to mentally process that but not going to let the guilt take me over. Not this time, not again.
Hope all babes have a good weekend!

MsHooliesCardigan · 13/10/2017 10:52

Housewife Happy 21st (day). That's brilliant. Keep going Flowers

RealHousewifeOfLapland · 13/10/2017 11:05

Thank you MsHoolie (Balamory fan?!) How are you today? I sincerely hope you can get home this weekend and get to the clinic on monday. It must be so frustrating to be so open to getting the help but getting thwarted by the system. You will beat this and are so so brave Flowers

TonicandLime · 13/10/2017 11:06

I went out last night. I had one drink and then one drink when I got home. Wow my head felt awful this morning and that was a drop in the ocean to what I was drinking 2 weeks ago! - I must have felt so awful all the time I didn't notice how awful I felt until I didn't anymore!

Don't want to feel like that again in a hurry!

TonicandLime · 13/10/2017 11:06

Happy 21st Housewife and 39th Small You are amazing!

RubyRed2017 · 13/10/2017 16:03

I'm struggling today babes. I really, really, want a drink. I'm feeling a bit down about my crappy love life. Thought I'd met someone I really liked but its looking like that's off. I've been doing OLD but its pretty soul-destroying and I think I need to knock it on the head. I am doing things in RL - have started an evening class and am planning to go to a walk with a local walking club in a couple of weeks. I can fill the diary but I just miss the company of a man, sad to say.

I'm home alone with DD tonight, my older kids are out.

I've done ok this week so far. Been AF except for a planned night out on Weds. I'm out tomorrow at a friend's party. I need a plan to get through this evening!!

doris9034 · 13/10/2017 17:13

Hey Ruby you're doing so well - Friday night's are always the hardest I find. My plan is Cold Feet and a hot chocolate - nice early night and I know I'll feel good tomorrow. The weather's meant to be great this weekend so am planning a big long walk - the only downside with that is big long walks also used to involve a -multiple- pub stop..... but now thanks to my new best friend aka Becks Blue I reckon it'll be OK!

doris9034 · 13/10/2017 17:14

Strikeout fail! Blush

doris9034 · 13/10/2017 17:16

ruby if DD likes board games, maybe a game and pizza night?

doris9034 · 13/10/2017 17:16

ruby if DD likes board games, maybe a game and pizza night?

LuxuryWoman2017 · 13/10/2017 17:34

Goof afternoon everybabe,
I'm sorry to read of the struggles some face, keep going is all I can advise, one small step at a time.
Has everyone got a delicious soft drink in the fridge to try to fight the witching hour? Ice cold Sparkling water hits my thirsty spot.

I have a weekend alone which is a very rare treat, so I have a couple of books and films lined up, funny, I never get lonely anymore as a singleton, used to get very lonely in my old crap relationship.

There are so many of us now it's about impossible to name check everyone but I always read and cheer you on or nod my head in recognition.
I'm so busy at the moment that I can't post as much as I used too and I miss being here every day blithering on but I realised it's been nearly 11 months since I last bought a bottle of wine, never inn my wildest dreams did I think it was possible.

Strugglers, I know you think it's near impossible too, I joined up here in January having drunk my last wine on 30th Dec, I was nervous to post and thought I had no chance, I must have got through 8 bottles of wine a week plus numerous gins up until then, a years old habit.
Here I am though, almost 11 months on and I rarely if ever think about wine.

I do have the odd beer or gin now, sometimes a couple too many but It's ok (for me) and as I have said before it may not be ok for you I don't want to give false hope. I think I was so unhappy it was escape and it numbed me - I'm happy now and busy and have no need to escape in that way - it's different for everyone of course, depending on life stages - how small the kids are, how happy the marriage, demanding the job etc.

I'm waffling now, but in my rambling way I'm saying don't give up, a slip up is just that, you just get up again and carry on. Be proud of yourselves too, there's no shame in liking a drink that bit too much, it's an addictive substance after all, be proud you recognise the potential problems and you're addressing them.

I will say this again, something I have said before and it's true - if you fancy a drink - don't panic, it's fine. It's really OK to want a drink. I want a Cartier watch and right now a Big Mac, it doesn't mean I'm going to hammer my credit card or run down to Maccy D's - the idea of these wants will pass, and in an hour be forgotten.
I sometimes fancy chocolate at breakfast time, I don't eat it but it's OK to want it - do you see? so don't panic at the cravings, it's not game over.

Right, I'm going on and on and irritating myself now, so I'll wish you all a good weekend, lots of strength to you all.
Paint your nails, have a soak, eat something nice and look after yourself - you won't ever regret a hangover free Saturday.

I am really going to shut up now Smile

LuxuryWoman2017 · 13/10/2017 17:36

Jeez all those typos and errors - you must think it's bollox and I have been at the drink!!

RealHousewifeOfLapland · 13/10/2017 18:00

Brilliant post Luxury really motivating and inspiring. What a great analogy about wanting and getting. Actually reminded me of my mum snapping at me as a child "well, wanting and getting are 2 different things!".

Ruby do you like any af wine? I make a spritzer with lemonade and loads of ice cubes and it feels like a treat/evening wind down IYKWIM. Hopefully it would work for you too?

And finally thanks Tonic!

slantedbutenchanted · 13/10/2017 19:00

After posting for the first time couple of weeks ago, I had a 4 day slip up!! But I am now 13 days AF struggling the now mentally and my crutch is a glass of 'something' to try and calm myself, nearly always resulting in disaster and mental health being worse than what it m

Reading these posts have really helped and the post Luxury posted there and especially about letting the cravings pass I was really needing to read tonight going to keep on saying "it will pass" to myself because have really struggled past two nights and would really a wine or cider or vodka!!! Confused

Just also a huge well done to everyone very inspiring posts and also helps so much to know your not alone Smile

slantedbutenchanted · 13/10/2017 19:02

I have no idea how in God's name I posted glasses was supposed to be smiley faces!!! Sorry people still getting used to this, hope post makes sense!!

doris9034 · 13/10/2017 20:15

luxury thank you so much - truly inspiring Flowers

MinnieMinchkin · 14/10/2017 09:19

Thank you Luxury Smile I really wanted a beer to go with my fish and chips last night (had a busy few days, topped off by finding DD has nits for the first time in 18 months), but managed to resist in spite of being able to smell DH's beer!

Hope everyone is getting on OK. How are you, MsHoolie?

holdthewine · 14/10/2017 10:01

Had a slip up with wine witch last night. Ok still better than before, didn’t finish the bottle. Also the glasses were spread out over 5 hours so wasn’t too pissed but still more than I intended. Still, in the month and a half since I started to tackle this I reckon I’ve drunk a third of what I would have so that’s progress I guess. Still thinking maybe I need to give up white wine as it’s always that which feels innocuous.

Onwards we go, having this page helps me hugely.

SmallFox · 14/10/2017 18:45

Mini triumph here - first time in years I've done one of the kids' birthday parties sober. Feel like I 'deserve' a drink now purely for surviving it, but am slowly trying to retrain my brain away from seeing alcohol as reward. Bloody hard, though.

I've been AWOL for much of the year but wondered if anyone had seen Sweet of late? I hope you're ok, babe. Thinking of you.

dementedma · 14/10/2017 18:47

Autumn woodland today

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?
HemanOrSheRa · 14/10/2017 19:02

Evening All! How is everyone? I am sipping a lovely glass of Seedlip Garden non alcoholic spirit and tonic with ice, lime and cucumber ribbons. It is bloody lovely!

That looks stunning ma. Have you been walking today?

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?
MsHooliesCardigan · 14/10/2017 19:37

I am not doing very well. The plan is now to go back with my parents and stay in a hotel for a couple of nights while I can access the walk in service.
I fucked up massively yesterday- I went down to town with my parents with the aim of buying some books for the children as a coming home present. I decided that I just wanted to be on my own for a while and said that I would walk home.
I ended up sitting in a field/park where I spent a lot of my childhood.
I sent a text to DH just asking him to call me at around 3.30pm and he sent a text back saying 'Just let me know what you're doing. I'm not going to respond to any calls or texts. Sorry'
I had been drinking and I just fell asleep. When I woke up, my phone had run out of charge. By the time I got home, my DPs had called the Police and called DH.
He's basically saying he's had enough of me. I don't blame him but my DPs don't seem to take into account that he's called me every name under the sun, he's hit me, kicked me, pushed me down the stairs, raped me, smashed things over my head but that's all apparently ok because I'm an alcoholic.
I'm out of here for now. I will keep reading though. Thank you all Flowers

HAHelp · 14/10/2017 21:07

oh Miss am so sorry - I wasn't aware of the history with your 'd'H - (not sure if you've posted about it) I can't imagine what you've been through - and anything I say will sound trite so I'll leave it with - you're in my thoughts and I'm looking forward to hearing about when you get back to see your children (your DD is a similar age to mine).

Am having some wine as its the weekend - but interestingly I really didn't enjoy it as much as I used to and am actually looking forward to being AF during week - who knows if I'll turn this into AF on more permanent basis but am pleased that I've made a start.

demented that photo is stunning - hope you had a lovely stroll/hike! Heman - your drink does look very inviting - I need to buy something more interesting that sparkling water (although I already do a reasonable job of keeping the sparkling water industry ticking along!)

MinnieMinchkin · 14/10/2017 21:47

Oh MsHoolie, I had no idea about the history within your marriage. I'm so sorry. You have been showing so much determination over the last few days you should really be proud of how far you've come and remember that this shows you have the inner strength to carry on (even if you don't feel like it all the time).

Well done on the party Smallfox. I had that pleasure last weekend and am so glad I don't have to think about it again for a year! And my lovely MIL has just invited us to stay for Christmas so I can be the kitchen scivvy (which alleviates the guilt of never hosting) and not have all the mental load of planning the food. The rest of the family can spend half of the big day in their cars instead of us for a change. Grin

I've had a battle to resist the wine witch this evening, but the thought of having a friend of DD's over most of tomorrow has helped my resolve!

MsHooliesCardigan · 14/10/2017 22:01

Thank you. In the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor, 'I will survive'. I will and and I hope that one day, I will come back stronger because of this. I'm rooting for all of you and the battle you're facing Flowers
I would actually be really lost without Mumsnet right now

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