Please tell me what you think about my 2nd date? Im so annoyed at myself :(

[user1496589862]

First date was arranged about 2 weeks ago, for bank hol monday (tomorrow) to go for food and a few drinks. Dont usually do this on a first date as I think its better to have a quick coffee but I know him (school together) although not spoken to him in about 10 years.
Chatting and texting before hand and one evening I was free, he was free so we went for a walk. Stopped for a drink. He went in for a kiss. This is one of my pet hates as I dont think you should on a first date but I didnt mind as I quite fancied him. Felt like I knew him. He was very chatty, a little annoying but I put it down to nerves.
So 2nd date was still on for monday. Recently, I was coming home from a night shift and he suggested tea and toast for breakfast so I agreed. I thought its ok, he can come to mine. I kind of know him, friends in common, its just tea and toast.

I made a cuppa, put the tv on and we chatted for about 10 mins and that was wen he became a complete letch. I dnt mind a kiss but his hands were all over the place. I kept saying calm down. He pulled my hand towards him and he was telling me how hard he was. I pulled my hand away thinking this is getting uncomfortable. I tried to talk, drink my tea but he would not stop pulling me, kissing me and forcing my hand. Its difficult to text but this went on for about half hour and I kept saying, I need to sleep. Im tired. He would not go. He would not leave me alone. I stood up he stood up. I moved and he moved. He then exposed himself telling me he was horny. Asking me to go upstairs. I said no thats is definitely not happening. I was trying to laugh it off as I was becoming more uncomfortable. This happened about 3 times. I told him I needed to sleep and to stop and kept pushing him from me. I managed to get to the back door and literally had to shout a little and say I needed sleep. I honestly thought he was not going to leave.
When he did I cried. I know thats probably completely over reacting but I have never felt so uncomfortable and so out of control in my own home.
Right now Im feeling really strange and I dont know why. I wanted to post because I dont have anyone to talk to and Im annoyed at myself for allowing him over. Im disappointed in myself because I should know better.
He apologised later by text. Saying he was horny. I actually feel sick. He then text 'looking forward to tomorrow'....Oh my god that is not happening. Am I over reacting?

I would personally call him out on his behaviour as if you call him out he will know right away that you will not tolerate such behaviour. He is much less likely to pester you if he knows that shit won't fly with you. You don't have to be mean about it you can just be clear and say something along the lines of: your behaviour on our last date was absolutely unacceptable to me and as such we are incompatible and this is not going to work. There won't be any further dates.

If you complain of illness or do the whole avoiding thing, he may just continue to pester you in the hope of just wearing you down until he guilts you into another date or runs you out of excuses. I understand your frightening since he knows where you live but I think your probably better off setting up a clear boundary so he doesn't just think he can turn up with flowers and chocolates in the hope he can get another chance to assault and pressure you further.

I know it can also seem scary but I would seriously consider at least reporting/logging the incident with 101. Will also make it easier to ring the police should he continue to harass you in any way in the future.

You don't have to provide any excuse/reason/justification.
Just say you have changed your mind and are not interested.

Im so sorry this happened OP You were sexually harassed in your own home. There is no excuse and HE is responsible for his behaviour.

27 years ago at the age of nearly 17 i accepted a lift home from a 56 year old family friend.

He kept on about what an attractive woman i was growing into. And that i was grown up now. And kept asking me to kiss him. I was petrified and worried he was going to drive me elsewhere other than home. He did drive me home and i couldnt get out of the car quick enough.

So i know what its like to have a fright . Sometimes its the people we know who are more of a risk.

Block him and if he pesters you involve the police

I'm glad you're texting him to absolutely dump him for his disgusting actions. Vile. Good for you.

Are you mad? Do not see him ever again.

Hope you're OK OP x

Hes a pig. Im not surprised you are shaken up

I would have been petrified if I was you in that situation.

What an awful, awful man.

You should absolutely not see him again and be honest with him about why.

I'm of a mind to say don't block him just yet.

Send him a text saying you don't wish to see him again. Don't give a reason (unless he is a total fuckwit he'll know!) Just say you don't wish to see him and ask him not to contact you again.

My reason for saying not to block him is that it might be usefull to see his reaction. To gauge if he is likely to turn up at your home. Thus way you have evidence should you need to report him. Don't under any circumstances respond any further to him but if he texts you then it's evidence.

Have you sent the text yet op?

No :(
I know everyone has said I should say why but I feel so uneasy. He has text twice. I cant explain how I feel but definitely uncomfortable as he knows where I live. I know that probably sounds silly but I dont really know this guy do I? I did not see that happening this morning. I thought I would say I feel that after meeting, Im really not feeling comfortable dating? Im going to ignore him tonight though because I just feel a bit anxious.

Say what you're comfortable with but don't see him again.

What a pig he is.

If you really are v nervous say, "really sorry but decided to get back with ex. Good luck for the future..."

Ugh, awful man.

Hope you're okay OP. Thinking of you x

You need to be clear at least in saying you aren't interested. If you say you're sick is there the risk he might turn up to 'help you feel better'?

Just say it's not going to work out, and that you would prefer it if he didn't contact you again. I know it's not easy, but you need to make it clear with creeps like this.

Thankyou :)
I have just test saying 'Hey, today was too much, I felt uncomfortable. I dont thing Im ready to date right now'
I will feel better in the morning when its all gone away. Just hope he is ok with it and leaves me alone now.
Thankyou everyone :)

That sounds utterly terrifying.

Ignoring tonight seems sensible - text to cancel tomorrow morning, then make plans and stay busy so you're not drawn into a texting conversation with him.

Sorry, ignore my x post

Horrible man. No wonder you are upset. Tell him firmly you don't want to see him again.

Blue :) I was going to ignore but thought I might annoy him. I have text now :) no reply as yet.

Well done op. Dont back down. He is a jerk.

I would report him to the police. That way when he does it to the next poor woman he meets, which he will, it will be on his record. It sounds horrific OP and I am so sorry you went though that.

That was a good text op.

You think you didn't handle it well, but you did, really.