Moments that nearly ended your marriage (lighthearted)

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

Just that really, we were talking about it in the office this morning and wondering if they were common. Have you ever had an argument that completely exploded, no matter how minor?

Mine had to be a few years ago when we were getting our kitchen redone and having an extension. There had been a back date for three weeks on a supply the builders needed and we had tarpaulin over the back of the house (no wall) in November.

This kitchen we had dreamt of and saved for was becoming more and more of a distant dream. We had no money after paying for said spiralling nightmare and I was cooking all of our meals in the slow cooker in the front room.

Both DH and I were working all the overtime we could to get more money in and the first night off we had together in about two weeks I got home at seven, he had finished a nightshift at 7am.

I walked in the door and was a bit confused because I couldn't smell anything. He's sat in the front room (coat on - due to no back of house) playing on his PlayStation. I looked at him and he looked at me, didn't say a word because according to him: 'I thought someone had died from the look of fear on your face'

I looked at the tv, looked down at his PlayStation (which wasn't normally plugged in) down the extension cord and the fucker had unplugged the slow cooker.

Not a big deal, 'oh you idiot, we'll get a takeaway and have it tomorrow, accidents happen,' No.

A month of stress at work and home, tiredness, frustration and just a really shitty time (we'd also been having trouble trying to conceive) exploded.

We raved, we ranted, arguments over the course of our ten year relationship were brought up and revisited and when it couldn't get any worse. I tripped over the slow cooker and knocked the contents on the floor.

At which point DH began to find it the funniest moment of his life and at which moment I began to weep and I cried for five hours about the bastarding slow cooker.

We laugh about it now but never again has he unplugged the slow cooker.

Surprised this thread hasn't gained more traction! I have no stories to add, but am trying to bump it anyhow :)

I have one story to add - one year into our relationship, DP and I were playing a board game and he absolutely slaughtered me in it (as in I had next to 0 points, and he won with something close to 60). I was so upset that he hadn't allowed me any chance at redeeming any points that I almost ended the relationship at that point xD

Maybe not quite marriage ending but many moons ago we had a small TV in our kitchen/diner. We had an ongoing argument over what colour the casing was.

I thought it was red (it was) and DH swore it was orange. It used to get very heated with one or other of us at various times holding other objects up against it to make our point.

It still comes up very occasionally and we got rid of it about 12 years ago

DH bought a carton of custard and only ate half and had to bin the rest. He poured it out of the carton into the bin, before chucking the now empty carton into the bin after it.

Why.

I know it's so trivial but when I saw the bin full of custard I genuinely had a moment of 'Why did I marry him?!'

About 6 years ago, DP and I were having a lovely evening stroll with the kids.
There were some building projects going on in our town and we were looking at the mock up pictures that were up to show what the area would eventually look like.
Where DP was thinking this particular building would go was smack bang in the middle of the dual carriageway.
It looked to me like it was going no where near the carriageway. The plans showed a listed building that would be staying that indicated the site of the bloody new building wouldn't near anywhere near where DP insisted it was going.
Nope, DP wouldn't have it. He kept pointing in the direction of the dual carriageway and saying that's where it would be going.
I'm not having a bar of it either and I'm there stabbing my finger into the middle distance pointing to where it's bloody obvious the building will be going.

Anyway, evening stroll ruined. DP and I not speaking. It carried on for a few days.
The thing is, we never, ever argue. This was so ridiculous it was funny (now).

You'll be pleased to know I was right, the building is where I said it would be.
Infuriatingly, when I pointed this fact out to DP, he said "yeah, I said it would be there."
Ummm no you didn't, pal.

Camping with a 5 year old, a 4 year old a 2 year old and heavily pregnant with twins. Then husband tells me (at around 3am) I am not to use the loo in the camper van as "it's for emergencies".....and there were peacocks screeching all night long.

I can remember being utterly furious with DH and thinking that there was just no hope for our marriage at all, and waiting for him to come home from work so I could tell him so face to face.
And I have absolutely no clue whatsoever what I was so mad about. Actually now that I think about it I don't really remember any of our rows ... I think he must have one of those memory eraser thingies from Men In Black.

Non sleeping baby, id get to sleep by midnight If lucky,and getting 2.5 hours in a row was a dream night, dh not very helpful with this part of a new baby. Dh wasn't well, came home and went to bed. Woke up late the next morning, I'm fuming as we slowly packed for a weekend away. Slowly because i was too annoyed at him to compensate for his inability to pack. While driving he said, out loud 'that 13 hours sleep really did me good' . I contemplated violent murder. Next baby he is getting a lot less sleep, and that comment is a key factor. See, this isn't really lighthearted. Which I suspect
Is why you're not getting many responses! People read it, think of an example, think 'is that lighthearted?' and realise they still day dream about getting revenge for it at odd moments and no it's not!

Yellow washing up liquid. I'll say no more still too bitter

When I was pregnant, we already had ds , went to the scan and found out it was a girl.. we were absolutely delighted.
Went home and I start bursting out crying and sobbing then wailing.
I was so angry at how inconsiderate and absolutely evil he was for not reading my mind and driving straight to the shop to get something pink for the baby.
I remember being so heartbroken and considering why I was even with such a mean man.
I was pregnantcrazy .

There have been a few over the years but the one that springs readily to mind is the Barbie caravan we chose to assemble very late on Christmas Eve when we were both ready for bed .......
I can safely say that by the time we'd finished arguing about the stickers whatever Christmas spirit there had been had long gone.

When he microwaved the breast pump.
My mother-in-law had to turn her hearing aid down.

Mine is a map reading argument! Trying to navigate around some rural backroads I was giving the directions and had both a map and my phone. We got to a junction and told him to turn right. He turned left as he thought he knew better. We ended up in a field. Driving around again we get back to the same junction . I say right. He turns left again and we end up in the same field. More driving around, same junction, same refusal to listen, same result. At this point I am furious! I'm a good map reader and dh has no sense of direction and is too pigheaded to listen! I tear the map into little pieces and tell him we're just going to rely on his "instinct".

Accidentally sold the house

When he did one night with non-sleeper dd1 (one fricking night) and told me - 3 months of no sleep and practically single parenting (due to his job) plus pnd - that it was much easier doing nights with dd (nightS not night, as if he had any authority the bloody bastard) than his night shifts at work. The 12 hour, contracted, paid, you-know-it-will-end, once-every-2weeks shift.

I was so beyond angry that I did not have the words to even explain to him. I could have gouged out his eyes at that moment.

He changed a lot and has redeemed himself.

We had a steaming row over how bulls are castrated

Dp thinks Park lane is purple. It's clearly blue.

Non sleeping baby.
3 years later i am still upset. i don't Think I Will forgive Him.

Baby Awake From 12 Am Everynight. Husband Up At 6am, Brings Him Down Stairs until 6.40am Until He goes To Work.

Regular Office Job, 30 Min Commute.

After Months Of This I Was Exhausted.woke Him At 5am To Take Over. He Told Me He Was Too Tired To get Up, As he Was Woken by The Baby At 12

I Had Listened To Him Snoring For 5 Hours!! He Told me To Just Sleep When The Baby Does, That Is The Point Of Mat Leave.

Child Only Slept When I Was Driving or walking Him In The Buggy.

I Walked For Hours Every Day, Too Tired To Drive But I Was So Skinny And Fit Going Back To Work - Every Cloud I Guess

@elizabeth basically this! Second baby i will not put up with this selfish crap!! First baby you are too tired to know if you are being unreasonable.

pioe

Park Lane is blue as is Mayfair.

Our best one was in the early days of marriage.

We were decorating the kitchen wall with 'tiling on a roll', which was the thing to have at the time. However, the walls were not straight, so it took ages to get one particular length to hang properly. DH was up a ladder, cursing and swearing, sweating buckets and letting me know what he thought of me for picking such a stupid twatting wallpaper.

At last, the length hung well. He steeped down off the ladder to proudly admire his handiwork, and put his foot into a bucket of paste. He just stood there, one foot in the bucket, and I howled with laughter, could not stop. He was not amused.......

Cue a mahoosive row, which culminated with me stropping into the bedroom, determined to make him siffer (I was very, very young). I took my self out of the front door, caught a bus into the city and spent 3 hours wandering around before returning bome, convinced he would be beside himself with worry that I had left him.

He had not even realised I had gone.

Bastard.

We celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary next year, so, clearly, I forgave him😇

We've had a few in 30 years.

My giggle response to anything deemed a 'catastrope' by DH sends him to blood vessel bursting irrational rage ( in my opinion ) and then it is apparent to all and sundry that all is err not well in the household.
A couple of examples.

Early in marriage we were playing Monopoly and DH landed on my Mayfair Hotel .. cue temper tantrum that saw him hit shove the board with such force everything scattered. I giggled

Narrow boat holiday - never repeated as it nearly did end our marriage!
DH got tow rope caught round rudder and had to get into canal to cut it free .. I giggled
We kept running aground .... I giggled
Going through locks were a mare and eventually we simply stopped speaking
I watch Timothy and Pru West in their canal travels and think to myself they really are great actors

And then there was the time I scraped the whole of the side of my new car alongside an inconvenient wall .... he was incandescent, which started me off giggling.

We are very different, its what keeps us together and attracted ... but oh my, can he rage

Oh and when travelling together we ALWAYS take the Sat Nav saves the ticking bomb of the eventual row!

Before we were married DH casually mentioned that I could 'always get a job in call center' after I had just finished working my arse off for my masters and was stressing about a job interview I had the following day....I got the job and he soon realised that was not the right way to be supportive and returned to the house with chocolate! 😂

Not that there is anything wrong with a call centre...it was just I really wanted the job I was interviewing for and had worked so hard for!