Moments that nearly ended your marriage (lighthearted)

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

Just that really, we were talking about it in the office this morning and wondering if they were common. Have you ever had an argument that completely exploded, no matter how minor?

Mine had to be a few years ago when we were getting our kitchen redone and having an extension. There had been a back date for three weeks on a supply the builders needed and we had tarpaulin over the back of the house (no wall) in November.

This kitchen we had dreamt of and saved for was becoming more and more of a distant dream. We had no money after paying for said spiralling nightmare and I was cooking all of our meals in the slow cooker in the front room.

Both DH and I were working all the overtime we could to get more money in and the first night off we had together in about two weeks I got home at seven, he had finished a nightshift at 7am.

I walked in the door and was a bit confused because I couldn't smell anything. He's sat in the front room (coat on - due to no back of house) playing on his PlayStation. I looked at him and he looked at me, didn't say a word because according to him: 'I thought someone had died from the look of fear on your face'

I looked at the tv, looked down at his PlayStation (which wasn't normally plugged in) down the extension cord and the fucker had unplugged the slow cooker.

Not a big deal, 'oh you idiot, we'll get a takeaway and have it tomorrow, accidents happen,' No.

A month of stress at work and home, tiredness, frustration and just a really shitty time (we'd also been having trouble trying to conceive) exploded.

We raved, we ranted, arguments over the course of our ten year relationship were brought up and revisited and when it couldn't get any worse. I tripped over the slow cooker and knocked the contents on the floor.

At which point DH began to find it the funniest moment of his life and at which moment I began to weep and I cried for five hours about the bastarding slow cooker.

We laugh about it now but never again has he unplugged the slow cooker.

So many!
I was on a night shift the day before we left for our first holiday abroad. Packed all of mine and DDs clothes and left a kit list for DS and DH.
All of DS's clothes were downstairs and folded neatly so he just had to pull out what was on the list.
Packed car on return from work and dived into bed for 2 hours. Got woken by friends who came to see us before we left 🙄.
Left home and radiator in car failed meaning we were toppin up with 5L of water every few miles. Got on ferry and wanted to sleep as get very sick, was post nights and had 2 tinies. He wanted to go and explore and have a drink as we're on holiday.
Halfway down through France, it's about 1000 degrees so I pull off for coffee for us, and ice cream for kids. Nappy change for DS. Decide to put DS in shorts as it's so hot. Pull out his bag and hunt through. Only trousers and long sleeves tops.
DH had ignored all of DS summer clothes downstairs. Couldn't find anything on the list so just packed what was in the drawers. DD had one pair of olive green shorts dungarees amongst her pink and purple wardrobe and one white tshirt. She was 2 years older. DS (20 months) looked beautiful in that outfit.
We shouted at each other for the next 200 miles and I have never let him pack again. Nor have the kids! In fact, we all separately and as a threesome will scrutinise what he has packed for himself for a holiday and write him very clear lists and make him tick it off!
Both kids can pack for themselves for a weekend on camp or what ever in around 20 minutes now since about the age of 11. I'm sure it's cause they don't want DH getting involved 😂

@oldlaundbooth I'm so sorry. You might try drinking during the day when you are taking care of the children. That's what caused my DH to realize the jig was up.

Quebec didn't bring out the best of me.

FlaviaAlba Before DD was born My DH and I used to obsessively play the Age of Empires mythology edition. It caused so many arguments (usually because he would turn up and destroy my town with lightning before I'd even got an army together). We could go for days without speaking to each other after a resounding defeat. One year it actually ruined Christmas. From then on we agreed to only ever play as allies, against the computer.

Then there was the time before we were married, and we almost broke up over a glass of squash. I was staying over at his place and he woke me in the night to ask me to go and get him a glass of squash. Naturally, I told him to fuck off. It ended with him slamming the door so hard he broke a hinge, and me throwing my boot at him.

Thanks for the tip trailing hic

This is really stupid and first world problems, but about 10 years ago I really wanted an iPod. We didn't have much money so that Christmas I told DH that I would like an iPod, but if it was too expensive, not to buy me an alternative because I would rather save up for the real thing. He went shopping, saw the iPod and then saw a cheaper brand that looked almost identical but was a quarter of the price, and bought me that. On Xmas Day, I opened the present and saw this Not An IPod, and burst into tears of frustration and anger because he hadn't listened to me. He was bewildered, because from his point of view it looked like an iPod, it had a larger capacity, it was a reputable brand and had saved loads of money, so he didn't get why I was so upset. I thought he was completely unreasonable and had a massive row with him at my parents house. What's worse is they stuck up for him and thought I was being childish.

I have had my iPod for about 8 years and use it all the time. The cheaper one lasted less than a year.

When I was very heavily pregnant I really wanted a lemon meringue pie. I took it out of the freezer and told DH that I wanted to cook it and could he preheat the oven. It was on the side next to the oven so he could see the temp etc. I went and had a shower.

Came back into the kitchen and the oven had preheated. Put the pie in, wait the 20 mins go and get it and it's burnt. I just wanted to cry. Turns out DH didn't look at the temp, just put the oven on the highest setting and figured I'd sort it. It developed into a 3 hour argument about the lack of respect he had for me, that normal people would check the packaging before setting the oven temp, and I was growing his son and heir and he needed to be nicer to me.

Years later (DS1 is almost 6) the subject of Lemon meringue pie makes me stabby. It's guaranteed to piss me off.

DH and I got lots of vouchers for our wedding so we went to John Lewis to spend them. He thought a new flat screen tv was a good idea as we only had a crt one. So far all ok
Then we started looking and he decided 50 inch was perfect, I thought 30 inch was better. So massive row and we left with nothing
Dear reader we bought a 42 inch one but it's now nearly 8 years old and himself is talking about an upgrade. This could get bumpy again .

Packing house and why WHY WHY would you ever just throw things into a box without so much as taping the fucking thing closed, much less putting even the most BASIC of labelling on the box, like maybe which room it will go into? Just left them in a stack of neatly taped, labelled boxes clearly ready to go. Bloody thing's broken open and all over the floor, but at least I know what's in it now (random whatever from all over the house, of course). Oh I'M "not doing anything"? Really mate? Nothing at all, huh? Not tripping over YOUR SHIT dragging heavy boxes up this bloody ramp covered in sweat and dust since 8am and I'M "not doing anything"? Oh I'll fucking show you not doing anything! Enjoy loading this truck on your own then, arsehole, I'll be in the bath.

Sonofabitch!

It's all better for now and he really is lovely (and I didn't leave him to load it up along after all), but soon enough we'll be moving in, and I'll have to sort through all those un-labelled boxes of random whatever and sort out where all that shit goes, so I'll likely have an update to this thread in a few weeks time.

Feeling sorry for myself 4 days into a nasty flu type virus DH asked unprompted if they was anything I wanted from town (++ brownie points)

Oh yes, bring me something to read I croak, expecting a magazine of some sort.

DH comes back rather pleased with himself and presents me with a brown paperbag .... containing

The thickest book ever 'Hitler and Stalin a Comparison' or some such title

In my fevered state it made me so I threw it across the room, much to his surprise.
To add insult to injury it had a reduced price sticker' on it.

This was 20 odd years ago and he still doesn't get why I was annoyed. He reckons I was ungrateful and unreasonable and sees nothing wrong with his 'gift' ... 'you've a historian, it was a history book'

yes and you don't understand women

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt smart decision I loved that game when I wasn't being betrayed

Oh yes, moving house always makes me stabby! I will spend ages loading boxes and labelling things ready to go and DH will go round taking things OUT of the boxes saying "we might need it" not if I murder you first dear 😡

We were in France camping with 3 dc and my dm. Our newborn was not sleeping well. On the last night my dh started to frantically empty his bag (packed by me) looking for clean boxershorts. He is normally so mild mannered but to his rage I had not packed enough so he had to go commando - which is so not his style! We had a huge (very unusual) row with me ranting about nightfeeds and exhaustion and him complaining I had miscounted his pants. All the time my dm was holding the baby's ears telling us not to complain about tiredness in front of her. So off we went to the campsite's evening show, which my shy (and prudish) dh was picked (hauled) onto the stage to take part in. You can imagine my utter delight when the music began (chippendales) and the 6 men on stage were ordered to strip down to their boxers! He squirmed and faffed along to the music avoiding unbuckling his jeans while the tears streamed down my face. I have never packed for him since - and never will!

So many.... when we moved to London I moved two weeks earlier, dh went to a wedding in nz. And dropped out of contact. Too lazy to find some Internet, couldn't be bothered checking fb etc etc ... I had set up a billion flat viewings, done two long days of viewings without time in between for a meal, found a flat etc etc. I just needed him to e-sign the joint lease, but he was awol having fun. Responsibilities were my problem. If he'd been in the same country I'd have murdered him. He didn't try very hard to make it up when he turned up in London either. I should have murdered him. I had nothing to do with our next house move and probably won't with the next one either. I will tell him it beats being violently murdered like he deserves.

Purple as if

The cat flap. Fitting the bloody cat flap.

My dh and I can count the number of proper rows on one hand (we have bickers and make up, but full blown shouty rows)

He insisted on buying a jigsaw saw and trying to fit a damn cat flap in our new back door. It took 8 bloody hours and in the end was held together by sellotape.

We got a company to fit our cat flap when we moved to our new house. I'm not sure out marriage could have taken it

I was heavily pregnant, knackered, so uncomfortable (and possibly slightly hormonal). DH asked me to stop breathing so heavily when we were watching tv. I went fucking mental.

I'd overspent at IKEA and got in big trouble😁

His washing all on his side of the bed...we were having a stand off..,me refusing to pick up and wash after him anymore and him not batting an eyelid. Big big row after I sent s pic to best mate of his side of bed and him seeing me taking a pic.

He works away...he took the little tv with him not used in while....he took the batteries out of our bedroom tv remote. Wrotten day got home, bath, food and bed to watch Netflix tv show to cheer myself up to find he'd taken the sodden batteries. I rang him and he said he'd done it for a laugh. Wrong day for him to pick

Just add last week whilst putting up curtain poles....he turned to my two teen lads and said 'your mothers going meh Meh meh again' he nearly got the curtain pole round his neck! And warned any repeat comments like that and he better run and quickly.

I love him to bits but I'd like to throttle him at same time

I had spent a few days stitching a floral pattern for the lid of a ceramic bowl for my friend's birthday. He distracted me and I ended up cutting it too small. I was distraught, as it was very close to her birthday and I didn't know if I would have time to re-stitch it. He came over and said, patronisingly, 'well, what can we do about that?' I was very pregnant at the time and had I had my ultra-sharp stitching scissors within reach at that moment, I would have stabbed him. He's my ex now, and I did manage to stitch the flowers again and my friend loved it.

I said I wanted cats, he said he hated cats

I said I had always wanted cats and I was going to get cats (I should caveat that at the time we were living in MY flat)

He said no way was I getting cats

I went to Battersea cats and dogs home, they did a home inspection and said we were good to go
He said he would categorically not live with a cat

He went away for a week for work.....and I went and got a cat 😆 he almost left me

However, the man cried like a baby when that cat eventually died some years later. Wept he did.

Frozen peas!

My best friend's DH wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't look at her, was obnoxious to her, all because she kissed someone else ............. in HIS dream

Love reading these!!! Worst for me was when I pretended to walk (sat in car for 45 minutes) over an argument about how to cook scrambled eggs.

2 words:

Mario Kart