#4 He's gone to Athens to be with her

[worldupsidedown]

So, that's it then. He's left to meet her in Athens. He's read my note but I've not had any reply yet

When you pack you leave for your love in Athens please take everything with you. PLEASE DO NOT RETURN

You checked out of this marriage when you decided to be with her instead of us and it is causing us too much pain to have you under our roof.

My daughter is too fragile to keep having you in our presence and I am trying to hold myself together for her.

Please do at least one honest thing and leave.

World - YOUR WIFE

Been with you on your thread all the way. You do what's best for you. Yes you may never read this but you probably have a 1001 + people that were wishing you all the very best and were ( in the main ) routing for you. I hope some posters words were a comfort to you when you needed it most. In life there is always going to be a few that feed off others woes and take delight in hearing the troubles of others to soothe their own lives. Ignore them. I'm sure the rest of us wish you well.

Thinking of you, don't let those who have a touch of the green eyed monster put you off if you need support. We all do what seems right at the time, I've always had to work, would I have liked a spell as a SAHM , damn yes!!!! It's all very well people saying you need to get real, reality may well be you do fine out of selling property and sharing proceeds and a nice part time job , you don't have to put all your money into buying another, you might decide to have cash in the bank and rent and see how things go, everyone's 'reality' is different without knowing the full position

Thinking of you world... I hope you know you have a lot of support here

My situation is similar to the OP's in that I develop and manage property rather than being employed.

Even if my marriage went tits up tomorrow, I don't for one moment regret being a SAHM because I got to raise my dd and my family got to have more quality time together.

I couldn't give a shiny shit if that doesn't fit with anyone else's views. As a result, we've all had far more leisure time together as a family, and as individuals for ourselves than had I been employed.

Well said joysmum

I've just caught up with the last ten pages or so, and am horrified to see how the tone of the thread changed on here. Talk about kicking a dog when they're down!

World, if you're still reading this, I hope you're ok. You shouldn't have been subjected to the unnecessary harshness of some of the posts on here in the name of 'reality'.

I don't understand why they seemed so intent on inducing fear about the financial implications for you of the separation. I also found it insulting on your behalf that they assumed you had not thought about these implications yourself, even though you are only newly separated. I don't think they'd read the full thread either, so didn't have a clear or accurate picture of your particular financial circumstances. They certainly seemed to disregard the many important and time consuming roles you have already in your life, as well as your plans to earn a living in the future.

Fwiw, I believe from what you've said about the assets you and your husband have accumulated (as a team!) to this time, will be very adequate in supporting you both separately in the future, whatever percentage split a judge (if it gets that far) deems fairest.

I can understand that you may not want to come back on this thread, (though I hope you do). There are still plenty of us that will give you helpful support going forward. If you do decide to stay away, then I wish you and your daughter all the luck and best wishes in the world. Please feel free to pm me if you feel like it.

I don't think they'd read the full thread either, so didn't have a clear or accurate picture of your particular financial circumstances

Well the 'cancel the cc' take him to the cleaners and let him live off x certainly didn't.

If you believe that certain comments aren't helpful then those aren't.

I don't think they'd read the full thread either

I did thank you. Just because people don't agree it doesn't mean they haven't read!

I cannot believe people are trotting out 'its his money' and 'the OP doesn't work' in the 21st century.

As a couple they made a decision that the OP would give up her career to look after their child, their home and their home based businesses. The STXDH would the free to pursue the external career and the money, with all the benefits of a full time housekeeper, book keeper, social secretary, nanny, small business manager on his staff.

Every penny coming into that household is jointly earned, irrespective of whose name is on the paycheque.

Women take a massive risk when they sacrifice their own working opportunities to do this and are regularly penalised for it in middle age when the so-called worker decides to have his mid life crisis in teh form of a 20-something

Ffs Piglet just give it a rest!
If you have some valuable advice or want to offer world your support then please do so, instead of bickering and picking apart pp. You may disagree with the majority and feel they're not helping world but so far neither are you with all the argumentative posts.

World, I hope things are slightly easier for you and DD now that SV has moved out.

It makes me sad to think World has been harried off her own thread. I hope she's just busy.

Me too kaitlin

Piglet
I don't want to reignite the bickering of the last few days, so won't be engaging with you regarding your last post.

Kaitlin
Me too.

Ffs Piglet just give it a rest! If you have some valuable advice or want to offer world your support then please do so, instead of bickering and picking apart pp. You may disagree with the majority and feel they're not helping world but so far neither are you with all the argumentative posts.

THIS. Agree with teatowel. If you don't have anything positive to contribute I don't see the point. OP has recently and I imagine continues to go through a horrific personal ordeal and just needed a bit of hand holding/kindness. There was also no indication she intended to cancel cc or any of the other petty acts of vengeance suggested, a lot of which I expect were voiced by others as a kind of cathartic "it would be satisfying to do this" type scenario. Earlier I personally said I admired world's restraint, dignity and maturity in how she had handled the situation. And specifically in an attempt to add humour to a difficult time said I would have been tempted to smash his guitars. I was not for one moment advising her to do this but the thought alone may have made her smile. Anyway as she sadly appears to have left the thread after negative comments regarding SAHMs/entitled/not short of a bob etc then bravo to the posters who felt compelled to say those things. *slow hand clap.

world If you are still reading hope you are ok and know a lot of us are still thinking of you

Well said, IWouldLike. I, for one, feel really concerned for world having lived through a fairly similar experience, and truly hope she has someone with her and her lovely DD at this awful time.

Thinking of you, world.

Yes, well said 'I would like". I also feel very worried about her as do all of us who have had similar experiences. I know it sounds ridiculous to be so worried about someone we have never met but my stomach churns thinking of what she's going through. I can't stop myself checking back in - hoping to hear she and DD are at least Ok.

Hugs World

SeekingTheLight I'm intrigued as to what "type" goes to the Lagonissi Resort?

world I am so sorry the thread got derailed by such cruel and unkind comments. It does seem a small amount of posters are suffering from envy over your lifestyle, and turned it into a WOHM vs SAHM debate. I think you have definitely made the best decision for your family, so please don't look back with regret. The close relationship you have with your DD is a testament that you made the right decision to stay at home. Apart from that, it does sound like you work from home on a holiday let business, so really the title is immaterial. Sending you hugs

@WiganPierre I was just wondering exactly the same thing!

Hope she's ok xx

Hope u ok be proud of yourself

Same user147 and sorry to hear of your similar experience

It is sad if world had only a little support IRL - this thread was probably helpful for her and hopefully she will return and is OK as can be.

Agreed mumek I hope she's alright too. It must be so difficult and it's all still very raw and recent.

Wow, people jealous of another person's lifestyle even when they are going through such a terrible time in their life.
Some horrible people on here, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Indeed Gilly it seems you can't be reasonably well off and have relationship problems.

I am sure it did the op no end of good to have her SAHM status criticised and picked apart while her actual life was falling apart. Not Mumsnet at its finest.

Lovely words of support from almost everyone above. I can only echo you all and send world support and hope she'll have her mum to stay and RL friend back from holiday soon..