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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He says that me getting too wet means he can't come

134 replies

Felinefine81 · 05/08/2017 12:23

Hey everyone, apologies for the overly explicit title but I would like some advice on this please.

I am very stressed out as my current boyfriend takes ages to come and I'm worried it's to do with me. When I get turned on, I get fairly wet and the way he thrusts means that he sometimes slips out of me midway through sex. He said that the reason he can't come is because I am too wet and this has made me really insecure about myself. I am 35 and nobody has ever said I get too wet or has had this problem with me. In fact, not that I've been with loads of men, but most seem to find me being wet a turn on and they've come no problem. He's made me think that I'm loose 'down there' and I've considered doing pelvic floor exercises to remedy this.

I should add I've never had children and that he is well endowed. I know he watched porn and pleasures himself to it so I'm wondering if this has anything to do with this.

One night I cried after he said about me being too wet and he said he wouldn't mention it again but it's like the elephant in the room. He now pounds away for ages until he eventually comes and sometimes even that isn't enough and he has to finish himself off.

Advice greatly appreciated please!

OP posts:
Theresnonamesleft · 05/08/2017 17:46

Of course he isn't asking for advice. He doesn't see it as his problem. Hence he's blaming the op.

After reading the other thread I agree with others that both threads are relevant. He is eroding your already fragile self esteem. I know this is want you asked but there's so many red flags in this relationship. And it
Seems he has found your 'button'.

TatianaLarina · 05/08/2017 17:48

To the twit who suggested OP involving herself in porn - fuck off.

This woman already sees herself as a sexbot - all about her partner's pleasure not hers, performing bjs daily to order, and that's your advice? Watch prostitutes fuck each other to please your man, objectify yourself further, and encourage your DP to objectify you?

Porn is already enough of a problem in this relationship.

Beelzebop · 05/08/2017 18:10

OP, please don't stay with this man. Please. From a complete stranger who can see it how it is... Xxxx

FrogsSitonLogs · 05/08/2017 19:08

I've read your other thread. You have a boyfriend problem, yours is a twat.

PickAChew · 05/08/2017 19:10

The problem is him, not you.

LanaDReye · 05/08/2017 19:39

OP I used to be drawn to men that I thought I was helping. Often passive agressive victim types, whom manipulated me into feeling guilty and doing what they wanted.

I am sincerely not blaming you for your experience, I had no awareness of the pattern that I was stuck in, but I wonder if you are not facing the truth. Do you hear what your friends and family say, but not really listen?

I ask this because you aren't listening on here and I wonder if you aren't taking this in?

SirVixofVixHall · 05/08/2017 23:03

Absolutely agree with TatianaLarina. (Like the username btw)

Onecutefox · 05/08/2017 23:48

Oh, yes of course. Men also get wet when excited and their dicks can be too small. So it's not that my vagina is too big, it's your dick that is too small.
A decent man wouldn't say what he had said to you.

MistressDeeCee · 06/08/2017 18:03

Best suggestion, talk to him about his porn tastes, try to get him to honestly share what it is he watches and enjoys and involve yourself in it. Watch it with him and if you can, incorporate the notion of not the actions into your love life

Fucking hell..I reckon OPs boyfriend is on this thread. Seriously

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