DH and I both have parents in their 70s.
On one side: have a business they run and premises which means they need to be there full time, they don't need to financially but they do and it seems to cause no end of grief, it is failing and they always have drama about it and how much it costs yet don't seem able to give it up.
Other side: retired but separate and have divorced years ago but continue in a passive aggressive, codependent type way, but seem unable to give each other up and move on. Both have health conditions bit won't manage / go for tests while continuing to share with us the details. Seem to be hoarders and refuse to make lives easier for themselves.
I have got to the stage of finding it all overwhelming and just trying not to get involved when they start about it all. Then feeling guilty. AIBU? And anyone else in the same boat?