Do you enjoy being single?

[Vodkalovesme]

And how long have you been single for?

Ive been having a bit of a wobble this week. Ive been single 5 months now. Exp left me, got a new gf within a matter of weeks, personally insulted me after he left (with things he knew i was self concious about), harrssed me, stalked me, said he wanted to be with me again but then stayed with his new gf. My mind was completly mashed. I changed my number a couple of months ago and he is blocked on everything. Ive felt really positive but this last week im feeling a little lost. Like i dont know where i belong. Ive been on a few dates but no one ive clicked with. Ive started the gym and seeing friends do i feel like im making positive steps. But i still feel bitter.. i dont want to feel like this anymore.
I am enjoying being single but i worry i wont find my happy ever after. Im mid 20s and have a pre school age daughter (not exps). My plans was to have another baby before i was 30 but i feel like my future has been ripped away from me.
I wanted to hear some positive stories really

Hate it

Stuck with it for the foreseeable though.

Most of the good things people bleat about linked to singleness aren't anything to do with being single but with being rich, which I am not!

Five months? That's really no time at all. You're still very young. You have plenty of time to meet someone else. Your ex sounds like an abusive tossed. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to get over it.

Agree rose if I was single and rich I'd be a lot happier.
Op your still so young so don't worry it's still very possible to meet someone and have a baby by 30.

Yes, I love it.

I was really unhappy when my last relationship ended two years ago, but have gradually become happier and happier in myself and don't now want to meet anyone else.

This is probably going to sound cliched, I think the key is to do things you like and want simply as an end in themselves, rather than with a view to meeting someone. Look for your 'happy ever after' within yourself. I am older than you, mid-forties, but I still think this advice holds at any age.

Socially we seem to be under huge pressure to Be With Someone. You don't have to want to be with anyone.

I was like this before.. I had met a guy when I was very younger and couldn't be with him because of my parents and age, we got back together when I was 19 and he absolutely made me feel like shit.. when we split 2 years later he did some of the evilest things he kept my pictures of my dead son which I had to send him when a phone I had broke and the day we split up my new one came and he refused to send them to me so Ive got none now and then left me 2k in debt and drug dealers threatening to attack me and my family as they thought I'd pay off his mess (didnt know he did drugs other than occasionally having a spliff here and there as he worked away a lot) but I felt lost when he eventually got the message and backed off... I spent a year and a bit on my own no men just to work on me, build my confidence, socialise and enjoy life.. then I started a new job, met a guy a year later married him, 4 months after that gave birth to our beautiful boy and still completely happy... but because I'd had the time to teach my self confidence and self respect I told him what behaviour I would and wouldn't accept on day one and he has never ever betrayed me in any way.. you will get through this but don't let him shadow your opinion on all men there are some good ones out there ... and the only other advice I'd say don't look for love , let it find you it works better then and is a hundred percent more exciting ... good luck OP xx

Yeah i think thats great advice. I felt pressured into moving on because he called me pathetic for not moving on straight away. Think i will stay away from dating for a while, probably is too soon.

Plans can be fluid so don't fixate on must have a baby by 30.

When you get older, you look back at life and wish you had done more when you were younger. Concentrate on this and love may show up when you least expect
It.

After he insulted you, I really hope you were not ready to take him back!

It's also worth noting that happy ever after is a fairytale sold to young girls when listening to their favourite princess books. It doesn't always happen in real life. Just happy is enough sometimes.

At 55 heck yes after divorce I have no intention of ever living with another man. I love my life.
If I was in my 20's not so much I think you generally feel you need someone at that age.
I would let him go, learn to live happily by yourself then get yourself out there and find the man you deserve.

Yes. 3 years.

I am in charge of my life. I like my life. I have arranged my life to be how I like it.

I'm lucky to be healthy (physically and mentally) and have a job that I enjoy and that pays well, which makes the above a lot easier.

Most of the good things people bleat about linked to singleness aren't anything to do with being single but with being rich, which I am not!

It's sad but true that sometimes a partner who is only "OK" can still make a huge improvement to your life just by being someone to share the rent and bills and housework and childcare.

Being able to afford to be single and picky is a privilege.

I hate it. I feel very lonely at times. Dh walked out on me about a year ago and has just started divorce proceeding. I still have feelings for him but trying hard to move on.

I miss the feeling of having someone to share my life with, to car for. I also miss the feeling of mattering to someone, of knowing that someone wants to come home to me at the end of the day. There wasn't much I couldn't do when I was with my husband so the whole reclaim your life argument doesn't really work for me.

Sorry, care.

Hate it too ☹️ . I know how you feel .It must still be very raw for you

I've been single 6 years this year.

Sometimes get bit lonely but I have a bloke best friend so when I need him ( apart from that ) he's there.

I don't miss being told what to do.

I was in an abusive relationship and yet to find a bloke I can't trust on a deeper level.
Having PTSD doesn't help either!

Everyone in my life said I deserve to find someone and keep my self confidence up.
It will happen one day ...

Its sad but true that having someone who is only "OK" can still make a huge improvement to your life just by being someone to share the rent and bills and housework and childcare

I was thinking this only this morning, when my children go to Uni in the next few years I will have to re evaluate everything if I am still single as I don't think I can afford to keep living where I am once I have no maintenance from my ex. Life would be easier in one sense if I could split the bills, I have got used to being on my own but would like to have someone to share my life with. I can see why people settle for someone who is just OK though for all the above reasons.

I don't like it.

I'm a single Mum to three, been divorced 4 years and single from another 2 year relationship since November. I miss my boyfriend no doubt about it. I have friends and the children but somehow it's just not the same as having a relationship.
I do things for me and enjoy life but sometimes the loneliness hits and I crumble. Am on OLD but clearly not doing well as in three months I haven't even spoken to anyone that I think could lead to anything.
I just want that feeling of having someone there for me at the end of the day.

Five months is literally no time. I'm 27 and been single coming up to two years. I think I've been genuinely in love three times, and it's probably been 2-3 years between each of those people (although with flings in between). These things take time, and it is cliche but you do need to wait for the right person or you are wasting both of your time.

The fact you mentioned your ex and his new relationship suggests to me you're not over him so maybe concentrate on this first.

I've been properly single for 7 months and I'm so so happy. I was in a horrible relationship though and it took me years to escape so the feeling of relief now I'm on my own is fantastic, I can do whatever I want without being questioned or shouted at. I can't see myself ever living with somebody again, I'm very very happy getting into bed by myself at night, lounging watching telly and reading without any grief.

I won't actively look for someone but you never know what's going to happen.

No.
From my experience of my life - I'm much happier in a fulfilling relationship.
I've been widowed just over 3 months, I haven't thought of myself as single until a fellow widow said something about its hard being single.
I'm a reasonably introverted homebody, my relationships have met my emotional needs which are now suffering.
Plus I miss both causal and intimate contact with a partner who I have a deep emotional connection with. I don't want a quick shag just for that physical fulfillment (which I'm not sure it would be for me).

You are very young and have plenty of time to meet someone and have more children.

I think being single is fine for so long but when the months turn into years it can be hard.
Weekends are worse for me everyone with family and partners doing things together.

Yes and no. It's nice in some respects, I do enjoy my own space, but it is lonely. No one to go on holiday with, to go for a meal with etc - I do have good friends but they are all coupled up & so aren't free a lot.

I love it. I've been single for over 3 years now. I'm a single mum of one.

I love that I don't have to compromise with anything. My flat is decorated just how I want. I can decide where I want to go on holiday. I can buy a new outfit or get my nails done out of my own money that I earn myself. I can cook whatever I want for dinner and watch whatever I want on TV when DS is in bed.

I don't really have any desire to meet a new partner and play happy families. DS has his dad who he sees fairly regularly and I don't want to bring someone else into the picture. I'm happy with the dynamic in my home. I have a FWB who I see when DS is at his dad's house, he has no involvement with my DS and it's company for me when I have a night to myself.

I think it depends on your personality sometimes. I'm an only child and as such I'm used to my own company, I don't get lonely. I have friends, a good family who I spend a lot of time with.

I find being in a relationship difficult sometimes as I like to do things my own way and I don't want to put the energy and effort required into a relationship. In short, I want to be selfish for the time being.

I realise I'm probably in the minority here

I could have written BitchQueen's post. Been single for around three years and vastly prefer it.
I particularly like getting home in the evening and being able to just relax and do what I want. There's no need to be 'on' for anyone.
Think it does depend on your personality though. I've always been an introvert and liked having time in my own.
The only things I miss are regular sex (I do have a FWB but don't see him that often) and the dual income coming in. Money is very tight and that's pretty stressful.
That said, it's worth it. The thought of someone else in my space fills me with dread. I love having my independence back.

bitchqueen that sounds like a ideal set up but would you feel differently if you didnt have fwb? Like you said its company for you.. so how would you feel without that company? Im just curious, never had a fwb

I don't miss sex at all!
But saying that it wasn't a very pleasant experience for me with my ex. It wasn't intimate.
it was for me get it over with as quick as possible so I know I can have next weeks housekeeping money without a fight.

I much prefer taking a cup of tea to bed than a man.

Maybe johnny depp on occasion too on sky