Do you enjoy being single?

[Vodkalovesme]

And how long have you been single for?

Ive been having a bit of a wobble this week. Ive been single 5 months now. Exp left me, got a new gf within a matter of weeks, personally insulted me after he left (with things he knew i was self concious about), harrssed me, stalked me, said he wanted to be with me again but then stayed with his new gf. My mind was completly mashed. I changed my number a couple of months ago and he is blocked on everything. Ive felt really positive but this last week im feeling a little lost. Like i dont know where i belong. Ive been on a few dates but no one ive clicked with. Ive started the gym and seeing friends do i feel like im making positive steps. But i still feel bitter.. i dont want to feel like this anymore.
I am enjoying being single but i worry i wont find my happy ever after. Im mid 20s and have a pre school age daughter (not exps). My plans was to have another baby before i was 30 but i feel like my future has been ripped away from me.
I wanted to hear some positive stories really

I went from hating it to getting used to it. Then that pattern has continued over 12 years. At the moment I'm used to it, but it does make me sad when I feel there isn't someone I can just fall on for a hug.

I do to an extent op I was you(almost identical but younger) a few yrs ago but my exdp would have flipped if I moved on quickly even though he did so.
Anyway I did enter a rl not long after and tbh it wasn't the right thing to do for me and my dc , my confidence and self esteem was crushed with no friendship group, I wasn't healed from the last relationship and would say I hadn't fully healed until about 3yrs later.

I did have room to grow in that rl but it wasn't right all the same so we broke up and are still friends today.

I grew massively more after that, relished my independence, spent time with friends hobbies and dc.

I've been mostly single after that and I'm very comfortable with it, I have loved and been loved in that time.

It's important to give yourself time to be and love yourself and One day you will know when you are ready to date or the right man might just cross your path when you least expect it.

I am mid 20's now, still single and feel I still have plenty time to have a partner and maybe more kids if it's feels right.

vodka hmm, good question. Well I only see him a couple of times a month, when my DS is with his dad. Because I'm home with DS most of the time I feel like when I have a night to myself I ought to be making the most of it. I guess if I didn't have him I'd probably get a bit bored on my free nights as ex works shifts so he usually has DS mid week so nobody is really up for hitting the town then!

I wouldn't want FWB to be a permanent fixture in my home though.

I am in quite a fortunate situation in that I live in an area where rent and bills are low and exh has a well paid job (high rate tax payer) and pays a decent amount of maintenance. So I don't struggle financially like a lot of people in my situation do.

I've been single for over 2 years and it suits me just fine. I'm a bit of a hermit though and really enjoy time alone (which is a rarity since having my son) doing my own thing.

I'm not saying I'd never date again, but not for a while, and I definitely couldn't ever live with a partner. I like my own space.

8 years this year, I left when pregnant when I was 22 and had a casual thing going for a while with someone but actually prefer to be on my own. Concentrating on DD, dating is expensive emotionally and financially I save the money I would have used for dating (new clothes, going places, eating out etc) for things for the two of us to do together.
I work, I'm doing an OU degree now but previously used spare time to learn to drive, exercise and get healthier.

I'm much happier since I stopped looking and started concentrating on myself.

5 months is nothing! You haven't adjusted yet.

I am fine in myself, relaxed at home on my own, but what I miss out on is a companion to go places with, and at my age socialising is structured for couples so you do definitely miss out on any default inclusion. I know people in couples get left out too, you only have to read the threads here to know that! but when you've been single for 10 years (give or take the odd doomed fledgling relationship) but have young children still you can't find your tribe very easily. I did 2 years of OLD but I think it's hard to meet somebody and get to know them slowly. If you both like each other it's all too quick. I need to know how to slow things down as well as dealing with the being ignored and rejected by the normal guys and bombarded with messages from much older fatter toothless men with gravy on their man u shirt!

Actually being single, not having somebody there for me, it upsets me far less often than the presence of a person so close used to upset me or the lack of sensitivity or consideration shown to me when I was with somebody.

Oh yes. 5 years and loving it. Got friends and lovers and never, ever lonely.

It seems to me that some people who say they have a FWB actually have a boyfriend in all but name so aren't really single. Most of the advantages of being single are actually advantages of not living with someone or being married, I don't see many advantages to not going out with someone. One poster above mentioned that dating is expensive, but that's only in the early stages really, later on you can meet at each other's houses and it's probably cheaper than going to town with friends.
I've been single most of my life so it's normal for me, but I am very lonely and I dread holidays.

Maybe i just need longer to heal. I dont want to jump into another relationship, if i wanted to do that id of done it already. I had been OLD but ive deactivated my account for now. Difficult meeting people in rl.. i work in mainly a female based enviroment as well. Think i will stay away from men for a while and get myself back to where i was before in terms of self confindance

I think it also depends on the relationship. People who have suffered abuse and left their partners might enjoy and value their freedom than someone who was left out of the blue.

It's great being single once you get used to it and get over the social and cultural pressures to be in a couple. I see very few couples who's relationship seems truly equal and good.

It's partly mindset. I stopped thinking I was inadequate without a significant other and wow life has improved and I'm much more content.
Sharing with friends, supporting them and getting support back makes you stronger more independent and happier I think.

Ignoring all the happy family shite at Christmas however is still a pain

Single my entire life, so I know no different. I like it. I am surrounded by other single women via neighbors, coworkers, family members - women who have been single for years and decades - so it seems normal to me. I don't understand the angst of single-hood unless you need financial support or a ride home from the eye doctor, but then it seems more like a practical need and not an emotional one. I'm mid-50s.

I'm single and i like it. Been fully single (previous on off relationship) for just over a year now.

I live on my own, work full time, pay my own bills, do what i want. I love my own space and independence!
I have a good social life though and i think that is key. I would probably feel different if i was on my own all the time. Today i'm alone all day and i'm loving it, but if it was all the time i can see how it would lose appeal.

I think of a partner as a bonus not an essential. I've made a good life for myself and don't 'need' a man for anything.

The only thing i miss is the sex tbh. I have the occasional one night stand when the itch needs scratching

Hate it, but resigned to it.

I'd love to be loved and cherished by someone who also really fancied me. But it's not happened yet and I'm now the wrong side of 40 with a couple of extra stone, and a couple of children and without the optimism of youth. So I have totally shut alll that sort of thing down.

I met someone fairly recently and there was an attraction there but I have AS and he is autistic and we have kind of fallen into a lovely close but platonic friendship.

I've never had a positive relationship experience, well not since I was about 17.

I did have mostly single friends until recently. In the past year, they have also paired up. So I am on my own.

I would just like to feel important to, and valued by, someome.

I've been single for over three years since DH walked out. I'm 40, with three little ones and I really hate being single. I'm not about to be with anyone for the sake of it, but I really miss having someone who has me as a priority, and who I can touch and hold with impunity. I am totally independent and self-sufficient, and happy with things generally, so it really frustrates me that this matters to me! It doesn't help that my sexuality appears to have shifted since I had children, and I have no clue what to do about it....

Single for nearly 7 years now and love it most of the time but have a wobble every so often.

85% of the time yes!
The weekends I find difficult or when my Dc's are out and I am twiddling my thumbs.
I long for someone to make me a cuppa in bed :)

Meant to say first 4 years I didn't enjoy it, suffered from depression after an awful marriage and stressful divorce. But feel like a different person these days. Still find the financial situation difficult being the only earner in the house and feel sorry for myself sometimes when I see couples doing coupley things. But for the most part I love the freedom

Five years for me and I bloody love it!

No dealing with partners family or having to compromise on things.

I live where I want and do what I want and can just prioritise myself and my teenage DC.

I have been married twice for a total of 20 years and have never been happier than I am now.

I love it. Much like the previous poster. My house is MY HOUSE. I live my life how I want. I go where I want on holiday. I have sex when I want. I actually prefer it to bring in a relationship.

Single for one year with 2 dc...it is si much better!! Yes ups and downs but gone is the constant dread of 'd'h coming home, walking on eggshells etc. I have time and space to be me, and have a 'me'!

But I wonder if the positives of being single feel more striking for those leaving an abusive/controlling/etc partner? Where the sense of freeedom is so nice!

Single just over two years and happy wth it.

I'm OLD but not with a view to meeting someone to settle down with. Just finding someone to spend my downtime with. I have no desire to share my home or finances with anyone. No desire to come home to someone every night.

I have a long distance FWB who I care about a lot. The benefit in this case is the friendship which is true and the sex is great which i just see as the cherry on the cake. We both have our lives to lead and no problem with each other dating other people. Without this though I'd feel a bit lost though I admit. I'm looking for someone closer to home but that would be in addition to instead of my LDR, just someone to do things with would be great.

Just read pony's post, and this isn't my case. The relationships just got into a rut, they were (are) both two great people. I realise I only stayed with them because being in a monogamous couple is what is expected of you. I realise now this was't and isn't for me.

I'm with Mrswinkler. Gave up monogamy a long time ago. I have a few DP's. Two are LDR and some local. Local ones are good friends as well as lovers. We meet for breakfast, lunch, movies, spend time around each others houses but there is NSA to the partnerships. Everyone is free to do what they want, see who they want, We all have our independence and are single. I don't like labels, but have been known to term it as friends and lovers. I do not see them as FB or FWB. It's outside of what the majority would call the "norm" for getting together with the opposite sex. Relationship Anarchy!!

17 years and on the whole I'm content with my life, but weekends can get lonely and it would be lovely to have someone there for me sometimes.
Being a single parent with little money meant I've not had a social life for years. I've Work friends but no one else and finding a group of people when you're in your 50s seems near on impossible.
I'm still supporting my grown up kids because their jobs barely cover their outgoings (their father doesn't help prefering holidays with second family). So not having much money continues to limit things like holidays.
But I also don't get any abuse or nagging, my life is quiet on all fronts and I enjoy being able to watch or listen to what I want. My house is calm and peaceful which is lovely but I do miss being hugged when I'm down, being wanted, sex and conversation. However, I think my idea of these is filmic rather than rooted in reality.
If I had a friendship group things would be better but sadly that hasn't panned out for me: stupid busy job and years of emotional damage mean I don't trust people and despite my age am hugely self-conscious and also pretty rubbish at new things (so rarely do anything new).
I'd advise newbie singletons to find friends whilst they can. I've been alone so long it's embarrassing and people do wonder what's wrong with me; another reason I rarely meet new people-I'm ashamed of being so clearly unwanted.
However, that said being single is better than any relationship I've been in, so I know I'd rather be lonely and safe, in my calm little home, than in a dodgy relationship.