Hi all,
I’ve been reading for a while but now it’s time to show my face and address things.
Ive been married 20 years and through this miserable existence Ive had periods of not drinking at all to drinking a lot ( easily 1.5 bottles of wine a night or 1/2 bottle of gin ). This hasn’t sat easily with me which is why I regularly stop and try and get a grip. My main problem is my H is an alcoholic and when I’m trying to address my own intake, he will encourage me by saying things like “ you’re more fun when you’re drunk “ or “ you’ve had a hard day, I’ve bought you some gin “ which, I inevitably drink. Drink is his answer to everything, had a bad day= drink, had a good day = drink , it’s Friday = drink, it’s a day of the week with an A in it = drink.
To an extent my appalling marriage issues are numbed when I drink. I feel high and carefree, until I wake up feeling like crap and can’t function until the afternoon.
My kids are both teenagers, they know their dad has a drink problem ( 8 cans of beer a night, a congratulatory bottle of beer in the car on the way home from Work and then half of what I’m having, wine or gin ). My drinking is kept to late at night, not when they are around though they have seen me drunk.
Anyway, my marriage is finally dead. I’ve asked him to leave which he tells me he will. I can’t continue this farce anymore. So now it’s so important I keep sober and clear minded. I don’t want to slip into the habit of rewarding a shit day with a bottle of wine because I’m thinking there are going to be lots of shit days.
My last drink was yesterday when I had 2 G&Ts then went onto milk. I can’t afford to have have a weak moment now ( and I know that my H will encourage me.....he’s pretty damn manipulative) I need to think ahead.
So it starts now.........