He's married. Should I meet him for lunch?

[VIX1820]

I was dating a guy a few years ago for approx 5 months. Things ended and he is now married to an American girl and lives in Boston with her. We have the occasional text convo every couple of months. He's coming back to the UK in a couple of weeks to visit family and has asked if I would like to go for lunch. I'm guessing he won't tell his current wife what he's doing. Is this a bad idea even if it is innocent (on my part at least, I can't speak for him!) I'm single but would never do anything with someone involved but I'm just wondering if this is completely out of line on his wife?

Ligers weird because it's clearly bull. See posts above....

Ask your boyfriend of 8 months OP if he minds.

So OP is basically either:

Lying
A bit screwed up
A lazy journalist trying to get some good quotes?

Potentially all 3

He said something along the lines of that it will upset her unnecessarily so hes not sure if he would or not and I haven't asked again what his decision was. Should I?

Stop playing the innocent.

I did what you're doing several years ago when i used to be a twat.

Then karma bit and the same happened to me. It was painful.

Just read through a few of the " my husband is meeting a ex" threads or " just caught my husband lying " or " my husband has been texting his ex behind my back " type threads.

If you read these it will give you an idea of the potential damage you and he could cause.

Get a conscience, go look for your own man is my advice.

If he's a friend then I would say yes but the fact that you think he might have ulterior motives then I guess it's a no cause you know him better than we do.

When in doubt, don't. No. And you'll get much better relationship advice here than from a bloke from five years ago/nay a year ago.

Are you sure that you are not enjoying all the attention and drama OP?
I am sure there are many men around that you could be friends with, does it have to be a married ex that keeps your communication secret from his wife? I am sorry but in my view you are as bad as him

It's so weird to be so over-invested in some bloke you shagged for 5 months 5 years ago. Why on earth would you even want to see him? Do you think he will realise the error of his ways and dump his wife to come running back to you?

It ain't gonna happen!

No.

Didn't read the thread. If you need to ask you shouldn't in this case.

NO

So you arent single?

You know you are a secret...and you think its innocent.

You know its not innocent. You just want someone to say its fine.

I asked is (wife) is cool with that? He said something along the lines of that it will upset her unnecessarily so hes not sure if he would or not

Do you even have to ask if you should meet him after an answer like that? Seriously?

To keep it appropriate and send out the right message, you could say that you're looking forward to meeting his new wife and all go out together :)

I guess that I'm the only one who thinks that it's fine to be friends.

no

no it is not alright if he keeps it a secret from his wife.

FFS - drip feed, much?
And you know it

Just meet him for lunch. Lunch doesnt mean sex.
If you do sleep with him, be prepared to feel bad for his wife and a bit used.

In a word, no.

I guess that I'm the only one who thinks that it's fine to be friends

Of course men and woman can be friends.

But the man in question has been lying to his wife about speaking to OP and wants to meet for lunch and again, not tell his wife.

Is that not a little bit suspicious?

And if the wife in question would jump to conclusions maybe it's because she has cause too. Faithful men don't text woman behind their wife's back and meet for secret lunches.

Innocent my ass!