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Original poster

Not hearing from boyfriend on holiday

108 replies

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 07:33

I'm in a relatively new relationship. BF has gone away for a week for a mixture of holiday and business. Not his day job, something he does on the side. He's gone with four other male friends. I won't say exactly where but in Asia...

He went on Tuesday. I didn't even get any airport messages. He's been on Whatsapp semi regularly. But hasn't replied to my last message sent Monday night.

We do Whatsapp a couple of times per day normally and I see him for a date night in the week and we generally spend weekends together.

I really don't think I'm being clingy, needy or neurotic in wanting a message every couple of days when it's evident he is able to be on Whatsapp?

Confused
OP posts:
Allconsumingshitstorm · 29/06/2017 07:38

I don't think you are being unreasonable. The hard truth is that, if he can't even reply to a text, he's not that into you. Move on op. So sorry. What an ar$e

Branleuse · 29/06/2017 07:41

Hes not that into you :(

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 29/06/2017 07:41

Agree with All.

StarHeartDiamond · 29/06/2017 07:47

Sorry to say it does sound like out of sight, out of mind. I wouldn't be rushing to contact him (hard as it is). I had this once with an old boyfriend, he assumed I'd always be rushing to contact him and be grateful when he responded. Eventually I ignored him for days and when I did answer said he was too much like hard work to track down and I'd leave him to it. He was all over me as he never thought I'd not be available. Not saying it's the right course of action here as only you know Your relationship but just thought I'd offer my experience.

He's not the only one who can vanish and if he is into you he'll want to be in contact. I would wait and see.

LardiBacardi · 29/06/2017 07:55

I would be the same as you - a message here and there wouldn't hurt.
If I was away for a week I'd want to message my new partner just to check in

ShatnersWig · 29/06/2017 08:00

How "relatively new" is this relationship?

AyeAmarok · 29/06/2017 08:05

He's just not that into you. If he was, he'd want to be in touch, telling you about his trip and what he's up to.

It's early days, so get out now before you get too attached.

Original poster
Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 08:08

Nearly 3 months of dating, recently become "exclusive".

OP posts:
caffeinestream · 29/06/2017 08:09

It's not as though he's in the arse-end of nowhere. If he can get on Whatsapp he can send you a message - cheeky sod.

I wouldn't be bothering with him anymore.

Aminuts23 · 29/06/2017 08:11

Yes this is unreasonable. I had same situation a few months into my relationship. I heard from DP maybe every 2-3 days even with a massive time difference. He might just be being thoughtless but I'd make time to send a message and I'd expect nothing less. It only takes a minute

2littlemoos · 29/06/2017 08:11

How rude. That would put me off him tbh.

TheNaze73 · 29/06/2017 08:11

I think everyone is different & you need to recognise this. I've gone abroad for the week & not even taken my phone.

Let him know that you need reassurance, when he gets back. It probably hasn't even occurred to him, that it's an issue

Fauchelevent · 29/06/2017 08:14

Three alarm bells are ringing: one is thst its a new relationship, two is that he isn't replying and three, the fact you felt the need to specify the location telks me everything about the probable nature of the trip.

He may not be betrayingvyou but he certainly isn't keeping you in mind.

Badgoushk · 29/06/2017 08:14

I agree with TheNaze73

Shoxfordian · 29/06/2017 08:20

I don't actually think it's a big deal. He is probably busy on holiday and with his friends. Don't be so needy

JigglyTuff · 29/06/2017 08:31

I bet I can guess where he's gone and what he's doing :(

Your relationship was over the moment they booked the holiday.

SeagullsStoleMyChurro · 29/06/2017 08:34

It's not needy at all to want the odd message.

ijustwannadance · 29/06/2017 08:36

You became exclusive just before he buggered off on hol.
The cynic in me thinks that's so you didn't do anything whilst he way away.

Teddy6767 · 29/06/2017 08:38

This happened to me once with my DP at the start of our relationship but it turns out he genuinely didn't have any reception where he was. The fact your DP has been logging onto whatsapp shows he has signal and isn't too busy to use his phone. If it were me I'd send a snippy message like "are you still alive?!".
if he still didn't respond after reading it then I'd assume he was no longer interested and didn't have the balls to admit it

GeekyWombat · 29/06/2017 08:41

If it wasn't for the fact he's on Whatsapp doing other things then this wouldn't bother me. My now DH went on a massive holiday about three months into our relationship and warned me there was going to be little wifi, he wasn't planning to take his phone etc. I got one email in three weeks and when he came back we both realised that we'd missed each other loads and it actually took our relationship into a new level.

The thing for me is ascertaining for sure whether he's online and replying to other people. If he's on whatsapp, reading your messages and not bothering to reply then I think it's fair for you to be rightly pissed off about that to be honest!

Lovegaultier · 29/06/2017 08:41

Yes he hasn't gone away for the sightseeing has he?

Original poster
Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 08:44

Thanks for the differing opinions. Interesting to read!

The destination really isn't an issue, I wanted it to be less identifying. The business stuff is legitimate too. Nothing dodgy.

He isn't always the best at staying in touch but...Confused I was definately expecting a few messages and he said he would message where he could before he went.

OP posts:
Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 09:29

I never hear from my boyfriend when he goes on holiday with his mates and I don't contact him when I go away with mine (or we didn't anyway, we have dd now so it's different)
My boyfriend only messages if there's reason though, so to sort arrangements or if he needs to ask me something. I never just get 'how's your day' kind of stuff.

thethoughtfox · 29/06/2017 09:32

Are you worried they are sex tourists?

DancingGoose · 29/06/2017 09:41

I would be upset about this too, especially if i sent a message and he ignored it. that's really hurtful.