Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Not hearing from boyfriend on holiday

108 replies

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 07:33

I'm in a relatively new relationship. BF has gone away for a week for a mixture of holiday and business. Not his day job, something he does on the side. He's gone with four other male friends. I won't say exactly where but in Asia...

He went on Tuesday. I didn't even get any airport messages. He's been on Whatsapp semi regularly. But hasn't replied to my last message sent Monday night.

We do Whatsapp a couple of times per day normally and I see him for a date night in the week and we generally spend weekends together.

I really don't think I'm being clingy, needy or neurotic in wanting a message every couple of days when it's evident he is able to be on Whatsapp?

OP posts:

pigyoinkoinks · 29/06/2017 13:18

Does it show that he's read your whatsapp messages? The two little blue ticks?

I'd be really annoyed too OP.

Teatowelfairy · 29/06/2017 13:18

I wouldn't have messaged him tbh unless he'd messaged first as I'd presume he would be busy enjoying himself.
But if I knew he'd been messaging others and not given me a second thought I'd be fucked off.

Original poster

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 13:27

He's read my message from Monday. I don't know whether to message him now or not, is he wondering why I've not contacted him?!

OP posts:

user1496484020 · 29/06/2017 13:34

He hasn't even given you a passing thought OP. Get rid.

Chloe84 · 29/06/2017 13:47

No, he's not wondering why you haven't contacted him, OP.

And if he is - a good person does not wonder why someone they have failed to respond to is not contacting them again.

I wouldn't message him again, even when he's back in the UK.

When he messages you, ignore it for a couple of days.

Play these boys at their own games.

MikeUniformMike · 29/06/2017 13:55

He is away, you're not, so it's natural for you to feel a bit insecure.
He might just be busy or have not nothing to say.
He might be having a wild fling or whatever, or maybe not. He might just be busy with his mates. Maybe the texts are expensive or his phone needs charging.

Stop worrying about the what ifs and get on with your life.

misit · 29/06/2017 14:21

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes before messaging him again.

Painful as it is, just wait and see. If he messages just before he comes home I'd be very unimpressed.

StarHeartDiamond · 29/06/2017 15:02

Polar bear - if he's read your Monday message and hasn't responded, I wouldn't contact him again and then I'd do what Chloe84 said. I know it's hard, but no guy ever did not ignore a text from a woman he is seriously into. they want you, they text, they call, they WhatsApp. Yes he is away with mates but he's not on another planet nor are you expecting calls and text everyday.

If this guy really cares about you he will be in touch with you and I really would advise not biting his hand off at the first paltry offering.

toffeeboffin · 29/06/2017 15:06

Seriously polar, fuck him for a game of soldiers... He's online already but CBA to reply to your message?

Stop being a doormat.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 29/06/2017 16:04

What Anchor said.
He is communicating...just not with you. Ouch.
The "exclusive" chat was apparently a mind game, quite the lip service just before travel. Nope. His actions (or lack of communication action to you) speak louder than words.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 29/06/2017 16:08

You could call his work and ask to speak to him. They may say he is away on assignment or he is on vacation. That might tell which way the wind is blowing here.

GeekyWombat · 29/06/2017 16:13

No no no don't do what Band says. Don't call his work.

Stay quiet now and wait and see what happens when he gets back. Either he's just not into you or he's working hard. Ringing his work either makes you look desperate or suspicious of him. Neither are a good look.

But no more messages either. He does the running and you're within your rights to tell him to cock off if it does turn out to be game playing

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 29/06/2017 16:29

DO NOT call his work! Sit tight until he gets back and see what happens.

Or cut your losses, block him and move on.

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 16:45

Why have we jumped to calling his work!
So the message on Monday was a reply to a message he'd already sent? Did it need a reply back?
It's been two days Polarbearflavour please don't stress. He's on holiday he might be using whatsapp to keep in touch with the friends he's there with or you said he's doing some work he might be using it to contact them.

If you want just message 'hope you're having a good time, miss you' or something else that's appropriate between you two.
If he didn't reply to that I wouldn't contact him again.

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 16:47

I have to say if I was seeing someone for three months and he was stressing over me not contacting him for two days, I'd be thinking massive red flags.

Original poster

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 16:48

We work for the same organisation, in different locations so I can clearly see his Outlook is on out of office for annual leave,

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 29/06/2017 17:46

Phone the company? I think you'd better fly out there to be honest. Check into the same hotel and stalk him for a few days. Ffs

SparklingRaspberry · 29/06/2017 17:52

OP don't embarrass yourself by contacting him anymore.

I'm gunna be brutal but honest - if he cared about you enough, he would contact you. Even if it was a quick message while he was having a shit. He has chose to ignore your whatsapp. He has chose not to contact you. He isn't wondering why you've not contacted him, because you have contacted him, he just hasn't replied because he doesn't care enough to reply to you - if he did he wouldve done.

His phone isn't lost, he hasn't been kidnapped, he has access to wifi.

Honestly, leave him to it. Sack him off and move on. Don't accept his crappy excuses when he comes home and fancies a shag.

If a man cares enough about you nothing will stop him from showing that - even a holiday. If men in warzones can contact their wives at home I'm pretty sure this guy could've contacted you.

You deserve better.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 29/06/2017 18:10

Do people use annual leave for business related travel?
That does not compute.

Original poster

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 18:14

The business stuff is a side business he and his friends have. Nothing to do with the day job.

OP posts:

Asparaguswee · 29/06/2017 18:19

If he wanted to message you he would. If he was thinking about you and wanted to let you know, he would. If he was missing you and couldn't wait to see you when he gets back, he would.
Take from that what you will.....
Let me guess, Thailand?

happypoobum · 29/06/2017 18:24

Totally agree with Raspberry

If you have any self esteem you will never contact him again.

Original poster

Polarbearflavour · 29/06/2017 18:25

Nope, not Thailand!

I love the contrast between LTB and then I'm exhibiting red flags and being crazy and needy

I don't know what to think! Having a large gin...

OP posts:

ZiggyForever · 29/06/2017 18:30

Definitely message him, OP - something light-hearted. If he responds then it's a non-issue. If not, well . . . worry about what that means if it actually happens!

PlayingSardines · 29/06/2017 18:31

if he cared about you enough, he would contact you. Even if it was a quick message while he was having a shit.

And they say romance is dead.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread