If your husband won money

[ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed]

Would he tell you?
I'm talking in thousands. Or would he hide it from you?

He's either already spent as much gambling as he has won or he's planning to gamble his winnings.

That's not winnings, that monies to cover some of the thousands he's lost!

He will keep betting and winning (less than he's lost) he's just trying to recoup - which won't happen!

Sorry

Yup slippery slope... my Dh (before we were married) won thousands online gambling then lost double as he got too greedy and kept going when he started to lose...

You think he would put all thousands back in the pot and play with it?! Why not just deposit it on your card? I'm not entirely sure how it works tbh.

Yes and it would be in our joint account x

I couldnt be sure he would tell me tbh. I think he would if he was in the house because he would be thrilled and wouldnt be able to keep the excitement in, but if he wasnt at home when he found out then probably not, or at least I doubt t he would tell me the full amount. He doesnt gamble though or even play the lottery so unlikely to happen.

We have issues. Big ones.

He has just given me the lottery ticket to check...

Thousands, yes. A couple hundred, possibly not. Although he did win a couple hundred recently and splashed out on some Ikea units, so actually maybe.

I'd tell him if I won a penny sweet as I am excitable and can't keep secrets.

I would be concerned that he's just won enough to cover the debts he's wracked up. But I'm very wary about gambling sites.

Mummamayhem has nailed it

OP I would be more concerned about how much he has spent on his gambling than how much he has won.

That's what he's won... this time. How much has he lost in the past? For all you know he could be thousands in debt and frantically trying to win it back and recover his losses.

An ex did that to me, I could see the winnings on the screen, but he pretended it wasn't real money when I asked. Later that night he woke me up to tell me he'd spent and lost my savings .....that's how he became an ex! I'd be very careful here

He's probably hiding it because he's lost as much or more.

There's been lots of media coverage about introductory offers with these online casino sites. They offer you "free" bets but then force you to stake thousands before you can pull any winnings.

He might have won thousands, but may not ever be able to actually get his hands on it.

I'd also be concerned that he's already lost money you can't afford to give away and he's being cagey as a result. Gambling's a pastime for mugs or very bored rich people who can afford to lose the money.

Just get rid. Why waste your time?

You think he would put all thousands back in the pot and play with it?! Why not just deposit it on your card? I'm not entirely sure how it works tbh.

Gambling sites typically have a 'balance' figure that shows what you've deposited and goes up/down as you win or lose. Then if you want to withdraw from your account you have to go to a specific page and enter how much you want to withdraw (for large sums, I think they often ask you to provide ID too) so it's not usually a decision to put the money back into the pot but a decision to not take it out. Or, as has been said, you're unable to take it out because you haven't staked enough.

Hmm. Clearly it's the gambling he is concealing from you, OP. He won't tell you what he's won because he would have to explain where it came from and that could lead to some awkward questions from you that he doesn't want to have to answer.

I think you have reason to be concerned.

DH called me earlier just to tell me the neighbour had given him £5 as a thank you for something, so no way could he keep a big win from me, he'd probably explode.

In this case though I'd wonder actually if it wasn't the win so much as the losses that he was hiding

DP told me today that he found a pound on the floor. I told him I felt guilty about spending £15 on lunch. We're very open about money and use each other's credit cards without question if it's in any way more convenient.

Is it definitely real winnings? You can play the games etc and just pretend it's real money... or you can play for real

How are your finances set up? Do you share accounts? Do you have savings that you both have access to?

I have to say that there is a good chance that although he has thousands in there at the moment, it may not stay there long as he will regamble it, or he is trying to win back previous losses.

If you do have shared savings then you need to make sure that they are still there and still safe. Any penny gone from them needs to be accounted for. An MNer recently found out that her partner had spent all of her savings, it was hundreds rather than thousands, but he kicked off massively and turned into a right nasty bastard when he was rumbled.

If you share a joint account and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary then he could have a credit card you dont know about.

I think that you need to start with simply asking him. Tell him that you saw his balance and wondered a) why he hadnt told you about such a lovely win and b) what he is planning on doing with it. His reaction will speak volumes.

Sounds like he wants to gamble it all away again as it 'heightens the chance of an even bigger win' - they think!!!

A gambling addict wouldn't. You cannot be sure he isn't one.

All these my husband would tell me if he won a tenner on the lottery are not comparable with this. You don't win thousands online without heavy betting in the first place.

It's hard to say without knowing how often he gambles and how much.

I only gamble in 2 specific situations and I have won money in both situations, I have never told DP about either of them.