Devastated at unexpected news

[Whereismumhiding2]

Im sat out in my garden necking strong sweet tea trying to get mt head round terrible news. My sister who was diagnosed with cancer 6 weeks ago and has undergone a brutal op, has gone into ICU as it's spread so aggressively they've stopped all cancer treatment. She's in hospital miles away so I'm driving up tomorrow. It's all happened so fast and is such a shock. I can't tell my children til Sunday as I don't want them to be alone with this news (they're at their dad's from tomorrow overnight) til im back but she has very little time now. They thought I was being weird asking them to draw her a picture or to write more in her card.
I guess I'm just wanting to.talk as I'm so in denial and numb, I'm at a loss of what you do or say, except to go up there and hold her hand.
I've rung round all the relatives for.my parents and i didnt feel any of the words I was saying, like someone is going to tell me it's all a misunderstanding. Some of my friends are arranging to meet me at a friend's house who.lives near the hospital to keep me company in the evening (am.staying over so i can see her sunday too) . I guess

I'm so very sorry OP

You may want to take some non smelly lotion to rub her hands and feet. It was a great comfort to my friend. And to me since it made me feel like I was useful.

Hugs. This is horrible.

So sorry for your sad news OP. Like someone already mentioned cancer is one of those things you hear about a lot but never expect it to happen to you/your family. That's exactly how I felt when my mum was diagnosed I just couldn't believe it, I was/am so shocked.

Ahhh I feel so so sorry for you and your darling sis. I lost my mum to cancer - they told us she had three months and she died in three weeks - not enough time to see her unborn grandson. Still devastates me thinking about it and it was ten years ago. You have all my sympathy.

Hope you're OK OP. 🍫☕

Hi , I hope you're with your dear sister now xx I've been thinking of you xx

Thankyou for all your kind words & helpful suggestions. DSis perked up no end after i visited all weekend and is keeping some food down now. They are talking about moving her to hospice local to her to help get her back home now that she's brighter #sistermagic
And she's even said towards the end she'd like to come stay with me to enjoy kids, pets, our garden and my parents who'd come stay too. I know what that means and what support we'd need as I'm in adult social care & have palliative cases sometimes. (But it's very different when it's your own loved one).
I felt prepared, that I'd cope visiting the weekend (she let me stay so much time with her!!) and my pressie bag was far more useful thanks to all you lovely MNs 😍😍😍😍

I brushed her hair, dry shampooed it, did a facial, put cream on, got her drinking and starting to eat a little, laughing (& a few tears together but it was shared tears at recognising the enormity of it), just by gentle help and love; the nurses were delighted in the improvement in all her obs whilst I was there (in ICU there was a nurse sat at end of every bed and a HCA so she is being so well cared for). It couldn't have gone better given situ.

You sound like the perfect sister! Many to both of you. You have such love for each other, you will be the strength she will need!

What a lovely update, Whereismumhiding2. I was thinking of you and you sister and hoping you were having a great visit together; it sounds like you were.

Agree with maybel, you sound like a very wonderful sister and so does she.

Oh how lucky she is with a sister like you. It does sound like you will cope beautifully. How awful that you must.

I am in tears at the kindness to your sister. I know you will say 'it's nothing' but it's not, it's everything. Wishing you both all the best for the coming days.

What a lovely, lovely sister you are OP. Thinking of you

Awww, what a lovely close bond you have with your DSis. ❤

what a lovely visit you had - I do hope the sister magic continues and she is able to come home - keeping you in my thoughts.

You're all so sweet and kind xxx We are typical sisters tho, we've had our bickers in the past, always make up, and stand up for each other. As DSis used to say no one's allowed to say anything mean to her Sis except her!! i cant believe we're not going to grow old together , who's going to (kindly) boss me around ?? Still DSis got some advice in at the weekend She's like that, she's the guardian for my DC in my will as i trust her implicitly. She's really my hero. I always thought she'd outlive me sat side by side in a carehome or together in our bungalow (with me doing all the meals as she loves my cooking! )
We're focusing on making sure she has visitors everyday with me going up with or without DC every weekend. My friends and cousins have been ringing me to be so lovely and send her their love. And mum and dad are constantly up there and talking to their brothers and sisters, me and DSis's BFF. Her BFF and i keep chatting on phone.

We're hoping to get her out of hospital and down to me, but not sure if she'll be well enough to get out of ICU. Got a lot of more fun memories to make and so little time to make them in left.

Ps. My DSis has never really been mean to me, that's just one of her sayings cos we're so protective of each other.

My littlest usually sleeps in her bed when she stays at mine (a week four times a year) - she used to sneak out of her bedroom! So two years ago I changed littlest's bed to a pull out twin one, so DSis got some sleep! (There ain't no double bed that DD wont scoot accross!). They used to retire to bed early and watch DD's Barbie movie collection, Dsis can quote from them! Oh and the mornings where they'd both come down with wild wonderful hairstyles where they'd been braiding each others hair!!
Dsis is soooo looking forward to seeing DC on Saturday, one sleep to go! She's desperate for kiddie hugs.

kiddie hugs are the best. The best medicine for the soul.

I so want to go give my DSis a big hug right now. She's 6000 miles away so guess I'll just have to close my eyes and imagine.

Thankyou xxx I took DC to see DSis in hospital yesterday. It took us 3 hours to drive there and 3 back, so not too bad and we stayed all day nearly 4 hours in tea lots, taking a break for some lunch. Certainly do-able each weekend and DSis has said she definitely wants to come to me if/when she can get out of the hospital- so much Mum & dad are delighted as we can make most of her last bit of time together as they'll come to stay with me too... It's go in my house!! Have been preparing children for what might happen. They were brilliant with her yesterday- She got hugged and kissed so much!! She was teary when I said that I would be on phone Monday morning to start setting things up - just gotta area a hospital bed now and Liao with our local hospice here for consultant and Macmillan care xxx oh and continuing health care funding for a bit of profession care support too - though most will be done by me and mum.

Sorry, mistyped a few things. I meant 2 hours back, so only 5 hours travelling.

So sorry you are going through this. You are an amazing sister x

I'm so very sorry. Hold her hand. Talk, let her talk if she can and wants to, be peaceful together if that's what she needs. xxx

A very sad time but special memories will be made.