Devastated at unexpected news

[Whereismumhiding2]

Im sat out in my garden necking strong sweet tea trying to get mt head round terrible news. My sister who was diagnosed with cancer 6 weeks ago and has undergone a brutal op, has gone into ICU as it's spread so aggressively they've stopped all cancer treatment. She's in hospital miles away so I'm driving up tomorrow. It's all happened so fast and is such a shock. I can't tell my children til Sunday as I don't want them to be alone with this news (they're at their dad's from tomorrow overnight) til im back but she has very little time now. They thought I was being weird asking them to draw her a picture or to write more in her card.
I guess I'm just wanting to.talk as I'm so in denial and numb, I'm at a loss of what you do or say, except to go up there and hold her hand.
I've rung round all the relatives for.my parents and i didnt feel any of the words I was saying, like someone is going to tell me it's all a misunderstanding. Some of my friends are arranging to meet me at a friend's house who.lives near the hospital to keep me company in the evening (am.staying over so i can see her sunday too) . I guess

Whereismum, this suggestion is more for you than your sister but she may like it too. What about a matching 'sister' bracelet, like the fabric friendship ones but two that are identical... so that you'll have comfort of sharing with your sister.

Sorry if it's a bit much. I did this with a friend and it really helped me 'afterwards'.

Your care package for your sister sounds great. Does she have an mp3 player or something to listen to? Audio books are a great distraction and aid for nodding off.

Hope your visit goes well for you tomorrow.

I won't sleep much tonight though I need to (to drive) but ive drunk 12 cups of tea and 4 coffees. Eeeek

A matching sister bracelet is great idea. She'd love that. Thankyou xxx

I'm so sorry to hear that, OP. What a terrible shock to you all that must have been

Thinking of you and offering a hand and my prayers.

Such terribly sad news I am so sorry xx

Thankyou all for you kind thoughts and prayers xxx
I'm trying to step away from.the kettle as I've had quite a few more cups of sweet tea. I'll have no teeth left if I keep this up. I haven't been able to eat today, might be craving the calories.

Cup of soup perhaps? x Is your sister likely to be moved from ICU? I wondered insofar as whether a hospice may be an option - I have to say from my Dsis experience they are wonderful places and even if only for a night or two it does (imo) make a difference from being in a hospital xx

Hope you have a good visit with your sister. It's truly a shock and difficult time for you all. Will be thinking of you.

I'm so, so sorry.

I'm so so sorry for your news. I know how you're feeling. I lost my darling brother 5years ago Wednesday just gone to cancer, he was 28.

I was at the hospital with my sister as sister in law (his wife) when they told us he only had a few days.

It is, to this day, the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I'm so sorry you're now having to go through it. Please PM me if you need, I'm 6hrs behind GMT if you need a hand in the middle of night.

Keep breathing, that's all you need to do right now

Howlongtilldinner* - I'm so sorry, I know how raw your emotions are having lost your sister such a short time ago - I'm here to listen if you need a random ear.

I wish I could whisk you to a few years down the line where the pain is not so cripplingly acute.

My sincere condolences

There is nothing that can be said to make this any better however I am so sorry for your news. It really does punch the air out of you. Offering an unmumsnetty hug and a handhold for you

Myrtlewilson I'm so sorry for your loss too xxxxxx
We don't know yet about whether she'll be able to get out of ICU. Hopefully. I know she wants to go home. But it's so far from the hospital she is in, to her home.

I'm so sorry

Have you been to wooly hugs? Can I link your thread to them, they are fantastically supportive?

I'm searching what the hospices near to her home and to hospital are, not that my views count but so I can picture them if DSis mentions then. I know the one near me well, it's a peaceful wonderful place.

Thankyou all for the hugs and hand holding xxx My head is clearing.

To those MNs who've just lost a loved one or are still raw from similar, no matter when, I'm sending up some prayers/ hug vibes tonight xxx I'm feeling a bit less disconnected from the world.

knockedover Sure, thanks. I haven't heard of them.

I'm so very sorry , what a terrible shock for you . Would it be an idea to put the children's dad on standby to have them for another night - just in case ? xx

Sending you love and strength xx

I've put a message on their board linking to this one, fwiw I lost someone to cancer a week ago, she was in a hospice and it was lovely there, horribly sad situation but she was well cared for and easy to visit, ( it makes a big difference, compared to hospital) big hand hold.

Sending strength and love to you and your sister. Cancer is a bastard.

So very sorry. It's such a wicked disease, thinking of your sister & your families xxx

So very sorry. It's such a wicked disease, thinking of your sister & your families xxx

Oh gosh, I can feel your devastation op. I am so, so sorry you are dealing with this and it's something I dread. Sending your sister and you lots of love and prayers.x

I'm so sorry.

Please drive carefully and take plenty of time to make the journey.

Please try and focus on some aspect of the visit that will be positive. To tell your sister all she means to you, to share some lovely memories.

Do you have time to put some pictures on your phone or a lap top or device? I mean photos of you as kids or of your children.

Thinking of you.