He did it again

[Cantbelievethis123]

Hi all I've name changed as my other posts are outing.
I don't know what to do. Last night I came home from work exhausted. My husband (as he does every fucking minute of the day it seems) starts going about wanting sex that night. I said I don't think so I'm to tired. Que his daily strop about how I can't possibly love him because I never want sex.
This is true but there is a reason.. it's because around 4/5 times (which he finally admitted to last night) he has had sex with me when I've been passed out drunk or asleep.
Last night we were spooning and he tried to cop a feel. I said don't I don't feel like it I'm going to sleep. He tried again a few minutes later. I shouted at him no! And to leave me alone. Well a few hours later I wake up to his penis inside me (sorry tmi). I jumped out of bed and started screaming at him.
He said he didn't do anything but eventually admitted it but said he didn't actually finish so it's not that big of deal.
I've told him this isn't the first time this has happened which he finally confessed to. The other times we argued about it he apologised and I forgave him as he turns it round on me and makes me feel I'm over reacting.
I don't know what to do. He's currently sat in the living room with our dc and I'm here in bits.
I'm so sorry that's so long and if I've missed anything. I can't really think straight right now

Thank you for all your advice. I've asked him to come round later after the kids are in bed so I can speak to him.
I'm going to tell him it's over. I'm so scared. Not of him but I know it's going to destroy him. I'm also scared of what my life will be like now. I've never been on my own. I don't have my own money. I'm supposed to be starting a nursing degree in September which I've worked so hard for but how am I going to cope with that as a single mother

'Not of him but I know it's going to destroy him. '

He has only himself to blame. Do not let him worm his way back in. He will do it again.

Get to the Student Parent topic, you will get lots of help and support there.

Good luck OP

You're brave and you'll be fine

Stay strong OP. If he has already seen that video, then he has no excuse for not understanding how awful what he did was.

I'm sorry, this is not salvageable.

You will cope as a student parent. I know someone who has just had her 6th baby and is going back to her studies to be a midwife which she started before having the last baby. She is a single mum too.

It is a horrible thing to think but he really is a predator who has been preying on you and gaslighting you and manipulating you into allowing him to continue with this horrible disrespectful behaviour.

Hope you are okay OP

He's not sorry that he's had/tried to have sex with you without your consent (rape), he's sorry that you are calling him out on it and his lame arsed excuses aren't working. He thinks he's entitled to have sex with you and your non consent isn't a barrier to his entitlement.

I've been there and got the dog on heat t-shirt. It took months to understand why I didn't want sex with my Ex but it was the realisation that sex wasn't about us, it was about him. I remember a few times when the 'I'm a good guy' veil slipped a couple of times and he said that I should sleep with him because well, it's what women do in relationships. I remember thinking then, that this man fundamentally doesn't get it and I wasn't sure that I could be bothered to wait for, or teach him to get it. Sex for me is about emotional connection and it was no surprise that I didn't want to have sex with someone who clearly didn't respect me and who I was losing respect for.

When I ended, I was scared but I was also shocked by the relief. The amount of energy that it used to take fending him off and or trying to explain my needs was ridiculous. As much as the unknown scared me, the known was depressing enough to make me realise that staying would have contributed to an erosion of my mental health.