Don't know what to do, DP could be cheating?!

[Kitty399]

Me and my DP have a 6 month old and lately I've been noticing a few 'quirks' of his, I'm starting to believe he's cheating.

It started when I was pregnant, I was in fact a little poorly during pregnancy. DP had me ALWAYS in the bedroom, I'd tell him I needed to clean and do things but no he wanted me in the bedroom, I told him I hated it being alone all day and he said he just wanted me to rest.
At night times I'd hear the camera sound go off on his iPad.

Lately it's gotten worse, I'll walk into the room and he'll quickly turn his iPad off, I've walked in before and he was on snapchat but then quickly turned it off. He's left the iPad on the couch on a snapchat and I've walked in so he's threw a pillow over it.
There's photos of him 'posing' on the iPad.

I can't sleep well because I'm pretty sure this all equal cheating.
I've asked him who he's talking to and he's basically said 'oh it's tom, you know tom, we are just talking about games'.
I've dropped so many hints and told him if I find he is cheating, that's it for us and I'd be taking LO.

I'm STILL stuck in the bedroom, I come out and clean then he tells me to go relax or something to get me back in here.

I have no proof and don't know what to do, I can't just look though his iPad..

Do you ever do things as a family? Do you have visitors? What does he do with the baby?

Bloody hell get out of that bedroom prison for a start.

Do you really mean he doesn't let you out your bedroom?

What happens if you say, no I want to sit in the lounge, or whatever? Does he stop you? Argue? What?

Why does a crying baby stop you going out? Much better for him to cry in a park or something. If he's going to cry anyway, just get out and do stuff! It might even distract him from his discomfort a bit.

OP like the others I feel rather worried for and about you. You need to start making some plans to get out (literally!)

Have you got any RL support - friends or family?

Staying in your bedroom is anything but normal, you need to tell him you don't need to and you're going in the living room. If you don't feel you can tell him that then you need to call womens aid and get out of there! My kids have allergies off all kindst(Inc milk) and we've never stayed in 1 room. Your Husband is a controlling arse

He does nothing with LO, I have LO with me always. I'm able to occasionally do things when LO is calm calm, he won't sit in his seat so I put him in his pram and keep him with me.

If I want a bath I put LO in his pram and he comes with me so I can watch him. At this point I am basically already a single mum since DP does f all.

alltalknobaby
I know his passwords so I'm considering having a look when he's out

Everything else aside, in the OP do you mean you'd hear his iPad camera as in he's taking pictures of himself?

Everything else is madness frankly. You haven't answered the questions about whether he works? Do you actually sit in your bedroom all day? What a sad life for you and your baby. Whether he is cheating or not seems a minor issue here.

NemosKnickers

When LO starts crying he won't settle, he just keeps screaming until I calm him. If he screams to long he ends up gasping for air and it's awful when that happens so try to keep him from crying.

He doesn't argue with me, I can say I want to go into the living room and he'll say he'd rather I'd relax since LO is such a handful. I think it's just easier for me keeping LO and me in the bedroom, I defiantly don't feel threatened.

Yes not healthy for any of you.

Fruitcocktail6
That's right it sounds like he's taking photos, this is backed up by me seeing the photos of him posing.

He doesn't work right now, he lost his job a few months back and due to where we live it's difficult to find work.

I think the bedroom think may also be my fault, I think it's just easier for us all. I just want LO to be calm and happy whilst we wait for his doctor to refer him on.

I actually hope you do find out he's cheating so that you might find the motivation to get him out of your life. He is treating you like a prisoner in your own home. The regime he has imposed is seriously detrimental to your mental health and your baby's development. He is adding nothing. You really need to get some RL support and find a way to extricate yourself from this terrible relationship.

i think I defiantly contribute to us sitting in the bedroom, due to me believing DP to be cheating I'm not to keen on spending time with him and as I've said I just want LO to be calm until he recovers.

This is so disturbing.

What was his attitude towards you going out like before you were pregnant?

While you are waiting for referral have you got LO on soya milk or similar? May help in the meantime

Does your health visitor know all this? Does she visit when you are confined to the bedroom?

You and your baby are being abused. You need to leave as soon as possible. How can your child get the required stimulation living in one room and being put in a Priam whenever you want to do anything. If social services knew abut this they would be appalled.

How long can you carry on like this. What happens when your child is walking?

How do you prepare food for yourself and the baby?

Does your partner work?

It's no life for you but even less for your child. They should be seeing the world, socialising and developing. You also need to find a way to manage his allergy so he is constantly attached to you, so it doesn't impact on him in terms of separation anxiety.

Your partner is abusing you both. Get help and get out, if not for yourself but for your child.

Either the police or if you are scared, women's aid.

Please OP.

I hope you do find out he is cheating because you seem to have normalised the rest of this horrifically worrying situation.

Thank you for clarifying.

I don't understand the relaxing thing, why can't you relax on the sofa, and why do you need to relax 24/7 anyway? Also, how can you relax with a screaming 6 m old! I'm so baffled.

AmserGwin
He in specialist formula but so far it's not working and soy stopped working weeks ago.

RoseOfSharyn
When I was pregnant he was always with me at the start, he did his best to care for me but eventually he decided my health meant I should rest a lot. I didn't find it odd as I genuinely thought he just wanted me to rest

My mouth is literally hanging open reading this.

Kitty do you have any family or friends you can talk to? Or health visitor or GP? This is so far from normal or acceptable.

You need to get away from this weirdo.

Unfortunately does sound as though he is up to no good, might be cheating, maybe porn? Why cant he just go into the bedroom. Yes, we need more info, do you leave the house, have any kind of life without him, friends, relatives round?

Please trust us OP. This is not a normal situation. What is happening to you is very disturbing and worrying and most definitely abusive.

i think I defiantly contribute to us sitting in the bedroom, ....... and as I've said I just want LO to be calm until he recovers.

Because he has made it clear that your child is an annoyance to him and you are conditioned to comply. If he was not there I do not believe you would still keep yourself and your baby in the bedroom.

'he decided my health meant I should rest a lot.' And what did YOU think? How is it that he gets to make all these decisions for you?

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

Please get out today with your baby in pram and take some time out. Your baby needs to get out even if you have normalised this isolated existence for yourself.