It's quite human to want revenge so don't feel guilty.
I never wished him dead though or to get a nasty illness or a bad accident.
I just made life uncomfortable for him.
What I saw was him living in domestic bliss with ow, moving to the other side of the world, Middle East, living the life of Riley on his megabucks salary.
It spurred me on to enjoy my life just as much. I travelled as much as possible. Spent 3 months in Florida two years running as well as going to Cuba and skiing in winter park Colorado.
That would have got to him far more than any revenge. He always wanted to be top dog in the relationship.
I wasn't expected to meet someone else , probably because I was his reject so if he didn't want me, why should anyone else. The fact that I was going to marry them was probably beyond his comprehension.
It will have ground him into little pieces to see my fiancé living in the house he paid for 😀
And being the fittest one of the two of us he would never have expected me to outlive him, especially as I was older.
That will have eaten him , every day of his life like the cancer that eventually killed him.
Which is why I'm so glad , I never, ever wished him dead.
I'm grateful for he life I've got and I've the life I've had and ha really is he best way to be.
Get on, get over and get someone who deserves you 😀