I would like to ask about... bjs

[nottobeknownbyname]

um... i was wondering if there are any... tips or techniques i could use

wobblyknicks, how can anyone swallow with out making puking noises the stuff it sooo discusting its like swallowing bleach i hate the stuff i think that men shouls see if they can swallow it with out pukeing

They do try & like it, Nikcola... Men r revolting creatures, u know...

there are certain foods that make it taste nicer or even worse. keep them away from curries if you do swallow ewww..

Tips from my own personal DH.....

1. It's not really just about the mouth action. A BJ with 'a cheeky bit of hand' makes all the difference. If this doesn't 'satisfy' I'll eat my own arse....

Translation from me - W*nk the stalk and suck the tip gently ! Use LOTS of saliva for the handjob

2. Don't suck TOO hard. The glans is unbelievably sensitive and responds best to gentle persuasion.

3. If all else fails, stick your finger up his a*se when doing it. He'll either hit the ceiling with shock or delight - take the gamble.

x 1000 ! I've just had that lot dictated to me (the translation is all my own work though )!!!!!!

Also a bit of gentle tickling with the tip of your tongue under the rim goes a long way.

Note to self - should have changed my name for this one ! Sorry to anyone who knows me and DH personally !!!!

BUMP !

PLEASE DON'T LET MY DH's FINGER UP THE 'ARRIS PEARL OF WISDOM BE THE LAST WORD SPOKEN ON THIS THREAD !!!!

hahahaha NDP!

my top tip - don't neglect the balls

Phew, thanks SM

errrr zebra men are grose ,
lol ndp, i speak from experience men love that but wont admit it

Hurrah nikki, my DH was a litle too open for my liking in that last post.... !!! The old perv

Don't believe you have to do like it that much to do it well, my DP (not bragging!) never seems dissapionted, but then he is just a little obsessed! I find too that if done well you can usually ask for anything you like and it will be done...lovely although not necessarily the best basis for a relationship, seems to work for us though!!! (try not to do them too often though otherwise the novelty may wear off, DP would beg to differ though I'm sure!!!)

feeling dim what's a Zebra man?

message withdrawn

ok - sorry I shouldn't be in this thread anyway....

My wife never did learn how to do it properly, ie the way I wanted which wasn't any different to what's gone before in here, including a bit of a**e play, but not essential.
BUT! my mistress was an amazingly accomplished BJer and swallower. Some of her best jobs were in my lap as I drove to our destination, where a good night would be had by all.

I would add that my wife was extremely good at all other aspects and nuances of sex from day one, two years before we married.
Still is too at +60

Sorry, but is Tolly not a woman. Only she's given advice on other threads about linea negra and hair removal before birth, and now all of a sudden she's changed sex for this topic. What's going on?

AND talking about mistresses and bj's whilst driving????? Are you a troll or just taking the p**s?

troll alert

tolly - did you misspell your name - should it be tRolly?

Yes, you clever ladies sussed me out some time ago, and I did come in to Mumsnet with a naughty intent, but it didn't take long to be unveiled.
If I behave myself can I still offer my thoughts in a serious way.
What is already on this thread is quite serious and not meant with any ulterior undertones.

its dl

Was this the one with the dodgy undercarraige??

Bit alarmed about the road safety aspect, frankly.

i'm really confused now... lol.

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, having neither given nor received

reb, you've never had a bj ? . Does that not p*ss you off a bit ?