Ghosting someone is such a shitty thing to do

[Notonetodance]

I've just had this done to me by some guy I'd known for years and finally plucked up the courage to tell.

After first meet practically begged me for another date so I agreed and when it came to the day he just went no contact. No message, no call, no 'sorry changed my mind/busy' text just fuck all.

I can't believe that people behave this way to others and I can't get over how super super shitty it is. Why just why not give some half baked excuse or lie or whatever, would be better than just fucking nothing.

I would never behave so appallingly to someone and it really makes me lose my shit thinking that people actually go around doing this. (First experience of it as I'm sure you can tell)

I am so fucked off about it.

Happened to me. When I was 6 months pregnant. Husband just fucked off. Decided he couldn't be arsed and just left. Horrific.

It happened to me with a friendship with a man. Never understood it. Then I got in touch with him again years later just so that he could do it again

It was gutting. Nothing is more damaging to the ego than someone who suddenly just can't even be arsed to respond to you.

It's just epically cunty. God, I have split up with people. It's just respectful to tell them even if they don't want to hear what you're saying
I've had a nutter who I had to block, and who I stopped replying to. But that I understand
Dawn - I can't believe someone would do that to you're child and you. Honestly I think some people deserve to be chopped up and fed to the fishes, they don't deserve being loved

Haha Les... but was it a normal relationship with you sending positive signals? Ghosting doesn't leave you in tact in anyway tbh as you don't know what happened. Especially as it usually comes out if the blue with no reason to see it coming. It is totally different if you have tried to end it but the person isn't stopping contacting you.
Ghosting in this case is by someone she knew for a couple of years. No excuses.

Yes I was being totally lovely to his face whilst confusingly wantng out really.

Lol Les ok so you are a lovely person bit that act wasn't lovely

This thread has made me feel guilty. I had stopped responding to messages from a guy (only met him once, not a relationship!) He has just texted again this morning so I have sent a message saying thanks but no thanks.

Bob on 😂

Me too Boooring
But in my defense he didn't text me either after our date and night.
I think we were both a bit stunned that there was no sexual chemistry after such a build up.
Now I'm thinking I need to make up some excuse and text him.

Man up, ghosters, if you don't have the gumption to tell someone it's not working for you, you seriously need to grow a pair.
Absolutely. Even more so these days where it's easy to block someone if they do pester you. I hate the few days of wondering what's going on, wondering whether they've had an accident, are ill, etc. Even worse when they've been acting normal and happy with me then suddenly ghost because from that day onwards it becomes harder to relax and enjoy a happy relationship because in the back of my mind I'm thinking, well the other guys seemed happy but they ghosted me, what's to stop this one doing the same. It's awful. At least with a "you're dumped" text I know exactly where I stand and from that moment can start processing and moving on. Ghosting is cruel.

What's wrong with it? Most people are not going to say, "Look, Sue, I don't really fancy you so I won't be contacting you again." It would be too brutal and awkward.

What's wrong with saying "I just don't feel we're a good match so don't want to meet again"? That way there's no character assassination but the message is clear that the relationship (or budding relationship) is over. I can handle being dumped but I absolutely hate mixed messages and ambiguity. Just send a text. It not that hard to think up something that makes it clear to the other person it's over, but done in such a way it's not cruel. Making up an excuse that can leave the door ajar is no good though. We're supposed to be adults.

Ghosting is pretty shitty, but after the amount of women who have gone batshit crazy on me after telling them I'm not interested any more, I can certainly understand why it happens.

What have they done c3pu? Oddly, that when I've dumped the men I've dated they've usually handled it with dignity, and none have gone batshit. Maybe it's my approach?

Ah it is what it is. I got dumped by a note through the door after a four year relationship and having known him around 20 years...we've never ever crossed each orhers paths since our last date when he said he loved me. Live in the moment and keep on being open, a bit of ghosting never killed anyone.

Oh OP. I feel like you might be a bit younger than me... so here's some maternal advice... please don't waste time thinking about this person any more. They are a dick. Why is "ghosting" even a word? Forget about it and move on. Find someone nice who is into you

I find the 'leaving the door open' concept of ghosting pretty odd tbh.
If one of my ex-dates sent me a 'Was thinking about you. Drink?' text, after they'd ended it politely, I might see them again if I'd liked them.
But if anyone who'd ended it by way ghosting got in touch again, they'd get a 'fuck off'. I have absolutely zero interest in renewing contact with someone with such bad manners.

I can see how it might happen (but still not acceptable) if you've only had one date and are younger but I am a normal rational 42 year old woman and was ghosted after 6 months of dating/contact with a 48 year old man (a policeman at that). That's horrendous.

Findingjessica has it spot on. Utterly utterly gutless and disrespectful. Nice people don't behave this way

Totally surprised that anyone could think ghosting is OK, it's just cowardly.

Even when I was 15, I had the balls to ring up my boyfriend and say I am really sorry, I don't want to see you again... and this was in the days before email or text. I mean you don't even have to have a face to face confrontation, you can just message someone and tell them! Why wouldn't you?!

I have been ghosted once in dating and weirdly the guy came back to apologise to me months later and explain why. We are now friends. He was going through a lot of business issues in his family business, was having problems with his job and suddenly met a lady locally with whom he hit it off. I was longer distance and I think he just felt she was a safer/easier person to date for various reasons. I still don't know why he didn't just tell me. I think he didn't feel able to. I gave him hell for it when he did apologise and he had to grovel quite a lot before I accepted the apology as it had hurt me.

I have also, like Dawn, been discarded. It happened during an 11 year relationship. One day my exP just ghosted me and I never saw him again. He is out there, so he's not dead. I had one 'hoover' from him around my birthday that same year. It is very hard to recover from that kind of treatment and I found that in my next relationship I always feared being disconnected from in the same way. When I started dating him, I told the guy to just tell me if he was no longer interested and explained why I would rather just be told.