Liar liar bums on fire.

[Hesabawbag]

Thought I'd start a thread to pull tips on dealing with your gut instincts versus the crap that's spouted on discovering infidelity. So basically cues we get when we just know its bs.
Starting of with the same minimal repeated 5 word sentence that's. Never deviated from.

Oh and brilliantly, sobbing to others about how I was the bad guy, I was paranoid, I didn't trust him, he thought I was cheating, and best of all that there was sexual stuff that I wouldn't/couldn't do and that was making him depressed.

I needed to let my hair down

It just happened

I didn't want to upset her, she's been through alot

I knew you wouldn't understand

We understand each other

I had to get attention from someone

I wanted to know I still had it in me (by putting it in her)

I would never do anything to hurt you or risk our relationship, and it's really hurtful that you don't trust me.

Why do you always think the worst of me?

You're fucking paranoid. You need psychiatric help. --> then didn't talk to me for a day because he was so 'upset'. This after I asked him about an odd message I received on a shared tablet.

Then after being caught out:

I'll do anything to save our marriage. I swear I'll be completely honest. I'll never lie to you again.. outright lie in next sentence while looking really hurt and miserable.

Notice how many times the guilt is transferred to the innocent party.

She was going through some relationship troubles like me, and we were just sharing (like obviously her late-20s boyfriend woes are EXACTLY the same as our married with children and running a home life)

She's mental.

She got me drunk on a work night out and we had a snog, that's all.

The latter is probably true- I discovered their many emails and it didn't appear to have got physical -there wasn't a very sexy vibe, but the emotional betrayal was worse if anything. And it hurt that he'd behaved like a middle aged cliche and was as susceptible to flattery and escapism as them all. We did counselling, got back on track, he apologised wholeheartedly and I didn't want to break up my kids' family over something so stupid. We have a lot of good things. But I'll never really trust him again, not really 100%. If I hadn't stumbled on the emails I'd never have known.

I was in a bad place and I was unhappy.

...
Maybe. But you're still a twat.

You were so busy at work....

WORRYING ABOUT A CHILD ABUSE CASE

Her mum has cancer

I JUST HAD A FUCKING LUMP REMOVED TOO YOU BASTARD. (The same night you texted her over 200 times!!!)

I wanted to get her a special birthday present, she was 40.

YOU GOT ME FUCK ALL. YOU SENT HER UNDERWEAR VOUCHERS.

We spent hours chatting online as she was my work mentor.

I SEE NO FUCKING IMPROVEMENT IN YOUR JOB PERFORMANCE. YOU DONT EVEN DO THAT JOB ANY MORE. SHOW ME ONE THING YOU LEARNT???

She's nothing, she's fat and frumpy and so not my type. She dresses like a cheap tramp. There's no way she compares to you.

THATS WHY YOU ASKED FOR BIRTHDAY NUDES, TOOK HER TO THE IVY, COMPLIMENTED HER CONSTANTLY.

Wooooo that felt good

She's like you were when I first met you.

She's like you were supposed to be.

She doesn't get blood on the sheets when she has her period (She uses tampax. You couldn't - you're too huge inside after the last kid ruined you. (I told you to have an abortion.))

You think you know I had sex with her? What do you know? You're mentally ill.

You and I have never had sex (c. 3 minutes after just having sex with me for the 1000th+ time).

I just can't stand liers.

!!!!!!!!!

Good to have a place to let off steam isn't it!

This stuff we have been told, at the time I couldn't see it as it looks now, I believed it.

It is good to write it down to read it back and go, no, that was horrible nonsense.

Bird, the pish spouted at the time is a joke.

His mate burst out laughing when I told him he bought her underwear vouchers 'to make her feel better about herself'

'Even I find that laughable, mate'