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Original poster

Liar liar bums on fire.

111 replies

Hesabawbag · 07/05/2017 00:13

Thought I'd start a thread to pull tips on dealing with your gut instincts versus the crap that's spouted on discovering infidelity. So basically cues we get when we just know its bs.
Starting of with the same minimal repeated 5 word sentence that's. Never deviated from.

OP posts:
Chucklecheeksagain · 08/05/2017 14:54

You made be do it
It's not an affair (said five minutes after getting caught and ten hours before moving straight in with OW)
If you'd been thinner, happier, less tired, more sex, less scared of me if not if had to do it... but it wasn't an affair...

knowwhereyourheadis · 08/05/2017 16:03

She only came over for coffee.

And another vote for - it was just the once.

knowwhereyourheadis · 08/05/2017 16:08

Oh yes and I forgot.....

I thought you were seeing someone else.

identifyyourself · 10/05/2017 10:13

"We were on a break".

First I've heard of it Angry

FritzDonovan · 10/05/2017 11:03

We were going through a rough patch. I didn't do anything, I threw the condom away when I got there. (On taking a condom away for a work conference and not bringing it back.)

FritzDonovan · 10/05/2017 11:07

Oh yeah, and
I thought men were supposed to have more sexual partners than women.

IrianOfW · 10/05/2017 12:21

She needed a friend

IrianOfW · 10/05/2017 12:21

She's been having a really hard time

IrianOfW · 10/05/2017 12:22

I didn't think you loved me

IrianOfW · 10/05/2017 12:23

It wasn't about you - oh that's OK then!

NutellaLawson · 10/05/2017 12:29

That's my mate just playing a prank.

I didn't mention it because I thought you'd be mad at me.

Wives aren't invited. (They were. I saw photos of the event later)

My colleague has been having an affair and I think that's despicable.

She's just a friend.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/05/2017 12:30

After completely ignoring me for a week, "I was waiting till I knew she was definitely interested before telling you. She is. So I'm going to carry on seeing her."

Then proceeded to stalk me for months with stories of how he missed me and wanted me back. I assumed he'd stopped seeing her cos, you know, he was madly in love with me still/again, but he hadn't as he'd "probably lost" me and may as well stick with what he had left if he couldn't win me back.

They're now married with two kids and both fucking miserable. When he found out I was getting divorced from the guy I'd married after he and I split, 10 odd years down the line, he sent me a message saying his marriage wasn't going well, she didn't understand him, and he'd never stopped loving me, so could we meet for a drink. Turned out that was a week after his second baby was born.

He was always a peach.

LadyRoseate · 10/05/2017 12:31

I got:

She's just being friendly, of course she's not after me.
She wants to be friends with you too! (she made up lies about me to my friends - luckily they told me!)

Then:
We were both depressed so we bonded.
It was just kissing. (from the man who doesn't do kissing except during sex)
I won't contact her, except just to help her move house with our car Hmm

And from another guy (though at least he was more honest I guess!):

She makes loads of noise when we have sex and you don't.

I want to come back to you but I've book a holiday with her so can I just go on that first (yes really)

LadyRoseate · 10/05/2017 12:34

Oh and:
She's really thick and boring, I miss your sense of humour and way with words.

NutellaLawson · 10/05/2017 12:35

Also:

I didn't join that site, someone else signed me up and the login URLS was where i was trying to figure out who.

And

I didn't mean to join that other site either i was just curious why it was so popular.

Offred · 10/05/2017 14:03

My two favourites;

"It is my private business"

And;

"You are projecting your past abuse experiences onto me"

Offred · 10/05/2017 14:04

I even went to CBT to help me deal with my 'irrational' anxiety related to him/her...

Chaotica · 10/05/2017 14:10

I was just looking.

Chaotica · 10/05/2017 14:12

You're always angry at me.

(Actually, I never was. But I would have been if I'd known what he was up to.)

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 10/05/2017 14:19

My exes never let me have female friends. (Wonder why that is, you cunt.)

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 10/05/2017 14:20

"i wanted you to meet her" (along the, she's just a good friend line)

and "turns out she's a horrible person and i don't want to be her friend anymore anyway" (after he went on a two week holiday with her).

Findmuckery · 10/05/2017 15:39

I was only looking!

You're allowed to look at the menu when you're on a diet

(Ah so I'm the diet am I ? How very flattering for me)

You take everything too personally

oscareyeballs · 12/05/2017 11:46

"He's cheating so why can't I?"

"If I take my ring off whilst shagging then it's not cheating" Confused

noego · 12/05/2017 15:16

"They make me laugh".

5 years on they have big mortgage, have to work until retirement age, is a pisshead, detached from family and friends. lonely and isolated.

Who is laughing now :)

BirdBandit · 12/05/2017 17:38

"You have trust issues."

"I was doing this* for us."

My DH has a tell, he always looks directly at me, my eyes, after he talks, he is trying to see if I have accepted his lie, sometimes it is hard to keep a straight face.

*for me "this" has been his porn habit, gross fetishes, buying a sports car, and buying condoms even though he had had a vasectomy. I kid you not.