Have name changed for this - could do with some advice or just to get this all off my chest, sorry if it ends up being a long one!
DH and I have been together 10 years, married for 4 months. No children yet.
Now he's always been a bit shit with money in that his parents would pay for everything and he never had to take responsibility for bills etc. When he moved in with me I was living with a friend paying half of the bills and DH would give me half of that back in cash which was the easiest thing for us at the time. We've always sort of plotted along like this, however DH then started to get a bit slack with paying me back on time. We would row about it every now and again and then he would catch up.
I do earn slightly more than him - maybe £300 more a month on average - but I have a car to pay for (he doesn't drive).
When we decided to get married I talked about joint accounts etc and he wasn't keen - but I was fine with it because we both earn our own money and spend it as we like. But he has become a lot worse at paying me back on time and I'm starting to reach the end of my tether.
He says he genuinely forgets and doesn't always go near a cash machine. He refuses to get online banking, god knows why. I suggested he set up a direct debit into my account for every payday and then it's paid and I don't have to keep asking - I'm driving myself mad nagging about it all the time! - but he doesn't want to do that. He still gets his bank statements sent to his mum's house and when we're there he takes them into another room to open. I've asked to see them, he says it's nothing to do with me. I've told him it's not normal to keep finances so separate when you're married and I'm worried he's either skint and hiding it or he's got loads of money and hiding it - I don't know what's worse! He says I don't need to be worried and he just forgets to give me the money.
My outgoings are over £1000 a month including my car, phone bill etc. He's supposed to pay me back £160 a week - I'm currently getting £150 every few weeks so he's just getting more and more behind. He owes me money from rent paid almost a year ago! Meanwhile I'm keeping up to date with bills etc because if I didn't I'd have nowhere to live, no nice things etc. In a way I feel I'm protecting myself financially by being able to provide for myself but also I've shot myself in the foot by letting it get this far.
I'm now scared to start a family with him because I know it would be even worse. Im worried about our future and I feel like he could easily leave me high and dry if he decided he didn't want to be with me one day. This does not shock him into action - he says he's going to try harder to be better but at this point I've heard it all before and so the cycle goes on.
The thing is, he's otherwise a good guy and I love him otherwise I wouldn't have married him. Whenever I've read similar threads in the past I always imagine stroppy teenager type men who sit on their arses all day playing video games - he isn't like that at all. I just don't know where to go from here! Any advice? (That is if you've made it this far 
)