Should I cut my losses with my new DP?

[CutMyLosses]

Evening all,

I have been seeing a man for 2 months now, we originally met on POF. Front the outset we had bundles of chemistry, there was never an awkward moment and we both agreed it just felt 'right'. It was almost surreal how much we seemed to have in common!

We both have young children and since we met we have been seeing each other around 3 times a week. We have slept together and I will often go to this place and vice versa. We haven't met each others children yet but in all other ways I would consider us mutually exclusive.

So here in lies the problem. I text him earlier to ask when he was free this week and he said he was pretty busy this week as he had some online dates lined up! Naturally I was quite taken aback as I had assumed we were exclusive, despite never having 'the chat'.

I realise we haven't had a conversation to formally agree that we are exclusive, but I feel that after 2 months of seeing each other very frequently it goes without saying? If he felt as strongly as I do about him he wouldn't even want to date other women. Do I just cut my losses with this one?

Woman posts on mumsnet:

"Dating a man. Been a good few weeks. Have slept together. Found out that his dating profile is still live. What should I do?"

MN: He isnt that into you. Dump him.

You have both made errors here.

So he was testing you basically to lure you I to a conversation about why your profile was still up? Ok, it was immature but I'd maybe not end it if you did really like him. Do you?
If not, I guess just forget him but you did start a thread about him so I'm guessing you do.

Did you like him before this?

Talk to him!!

Very immature, playing games. He coukd have asked you why you still have your profile up. For whatever reason op might have forgotten to take it down, or might be on her long to do list. Not worth it.

Yeah I'd think twice about a man who would make up silly games instead of ask you a serious (albeit nerve wracking) question.

But I wouldn't necessarily dump his for being insecure. Just keep it in your mind.

I had some bloke meet me for a drink, then say he couldn't stop for long as he had another date lined up.

When I was he actually phoned and cancelled her.

I still left him to it.

Prick.

Scottish it isn't about his profile still being live, it's that he told her he couldn't meet because he was busy with other online dates! So he's either trying to very bluntly let her know it's not exclusive (in a way no one really does even when it's v early, isn't exclusive and you're both aware other dates may be happening!) or he's an immature twerp who can't have an adult conversation and needs to test/control/spite OP.

Ugh.

Glad you found out OP, what a weird way for him to carry on. Not very mature me thinks. If I really liked him I might give him one more chance but don't listen to me, I'm having no luck in these matters. I think you handled it great so far OP.

It sounds like he was just trying to hurt you. That's not nice.

The last person I was seeing from OLD ended up doing something similar to me (testing me), he had been a bit of a drama queen for weeks but wasn't making a effort to see me (we had been seeing each other for 3 months), suddenly he stopped messaging me, as I had been here several times before I didn't bother messaging him either as I didn't want to chase. A few days later he messages me saying he was testing to see if I would message him, to see if I was really that into him . It really upset me that a 45 year old would play games so I dumped him and blocked him.

Don't let men play games with you, it's childish and paints a good picture of how things could be in the future if you stay with them.

Drama llamas are a bore.

Kittencatkins123

Oh I get that he acted like an arse but, to remain consistent, MN has to acknowledge she actually wasnt into him and that he really should be thinking of leaving her.

So he was cross made a stupid comment and then (unilaterally) apologised

What a shit

Has no one on mumsnet every said something stupid and childish when upset?

And being ignorant by not replying to his message is very mature!

You could have just asked him what he meant by his response?

You both obviously don't know what you mean to each other!

I think theres a big difference between leaving a profile online rather than deleting it in the first three months of a Relationship, and actively using it.

he only apologised because the dates he lined up didn't go anywhere...

trust your instinct OP

Actually I disagree that the response would have been different had it been the other way around, and I am usually one of the first to point out double standards.

If an OP pointed out that a profile was stil online posters would be asking if he'd signed into it recently. If not then they would give benefit of the doubt, in fact I've seen posts where posters have said that their profile has remained online and they've just forgotten about it.

Telling someone you can't see them because you have dates lined up is game playing and nothing else. It was a bit of an own goal for him because if OP had responded that she'd got some recent contacts as well and would use the time to go out dating he couldn't exactly have been upset then could he? Whereas because she wished him luck with his life he suddenly decided to back pedal.

He's a game player, and not a very nice one.

CutMyLosses what did you decide to do?

Nosy parker emojji

OP is now well rid of lover boy I'm sure.
She has her self respect after all.And she has now set her bar somewhat higher for the next candidate.

Nah. His other dates weren't as good as you. So he wants more until he finds better.