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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Admitting my DP is an alcoholic

104 replies

user1492768921 · 23/04/2017 03:18

I'm exhausted and fucking angry. I just need to rant, this'll be a long one (I've obviously name changed for this as it's very outing)

I'm finally admitting to myself that my DP is an alcoholic. We have a six month old baby and she's ebf, I work from home and make good money and he is essentially a sahd but my work is extremely flexible so I'm able to look after our DD a good deal too.
Money goes into our account on a Monday and so every Monday without fail I'm left alone to look after the baby while he goes to the pub. This is fair enough but he spends all of our weekly money and gets ridiculously drunk (as In he can't walk straight.) He also buys a big crate of beer and will get drunk Tuesday night at home, so again I'm left to look after the baby.
As my DD is ebf I do all of the night wakings, which is still every three hours or so. In the mornings he's hung over / not gone to bed till 2am so I have to deal with the baby in the mornings too even though I've been up every three hours with her and I'm exhausted!
I take the baby out for a couple of hours every other day to give him some space so he can have some time out but he'll only do this for me if we have money in the account so he can go to the pub with her?! I literally have to beg him to take her so I can get cleaning done and when he does its like he's done me a massive favour "oh DD's probably bored of me I've seen her all day, she's barely seen you." it's not like I've even had five minutes to myself I've been cleaning and getting laundry done all day!?!
The worst thing was that saturday was my birthday and he said he'd look after DD so I could go to dinner with some friends. He took some of my birthday money I'd been given from family from my purse and used it to get stinking drunk while 'looking after' DD! I knew he would do this so I didn't even have a glass of wine while I was out at dinner and stressed out the whole time, my birthday was fucking shite to be honest! I literally looked at the money in my purse and thought I should take it with me but thought that he wouldn't stoop so low as to steal this money from me!
He came to bed half an hour ago and woke up the baby stumbling around and I had to deal with that, I'm just so exhausted but I can't sleep because I'm so fucking angry about everything.
What the fuck do I do? I have a baby with this man!!

OP posts:
user1492768921 · 05/05/2017 18:20

Hi guys, quick update as I hate when threads are left without an ending. My DP is doing really well, he has taken up more hours at work and DD is going to be looked after by a family member some days during the week. He has admitted he has a problem and is going to therapy and AA.
I've cut down how much work I'm doing because I want to look after DD myself more, I really enjoy having her and want to be able to enjoy her as a baby and not be stressed all the time.
Thank you for all your comments I will be continuing to keep an eye on things and hes straight out the door if any of these behaviours come back.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/05/2017 18:27

Has he actually stopped drinking?

Heathcliffitsme · 05/05/2017 19:28

It's only been 12 days since your original post so that's a lot of changes. I would give it a bit longer myself Confused.

user1492768921 · 05/05/2017 20:52

Yes he's stopped drinking but as Heathcliff says it's not been very long and it's about him maintaining the changes.
As I said he only started drinking again two months ago, it was because his dad came back into his life and claimed that he had a right to see our daughter and caused a lot of other problems. It's not an excuse but it's why I didn't say anything for so long, he's doing all he can to not be his dad.

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