Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

elf I've not got as far as 40 days (and I massively admire you for it!!), but I know that in my brief periods of being AF sometimes the emotions have been both overwhelming and beyond my understanding. I think that just learning to feel and experience them, whether we deal with them or not, is a big part of learning to be sober. This is far from easy- you are an inspiration.

venus lovely to see you!

Thank you for the encouragement, and sorry for the moaning. Marathon is London, and it is in three and a half weeks time. I really thought (hoped?) by now it would take priority over drinking, especially after a fairly dry January.

It's also bringing up lots of historical issues with food; I struggle with three meals a day, let alone the three days of carb loading before a long run. I'm torn between wanting to try and eat to run better (and I'm scared of not getting around at all) and a fear of gaining weight in the next three weeks. It's all a bit of a head fuck to be honest.

Basically the moral of the story is never get drunk and ballot for a marathon...it will backfire!!!!!

margie thank you xxxx How are you doing?

Carte I'm with you, had the horrible beast all day today it's been awful. My heart's been pounding and I've felt like glugging the wine. Luckily I've got through it. I'm on day 18 today

Hello lovely babes
Just a check in. Day 2 for this week for me.
Elba well done on getting as far as you have! You'll have extra adrenalin on race day to help. You'll defo get round
I am sooo tired, just me and the crazy DS and work. Moan moan.
Off to bed shortly. Rock n roll
Take care everyone

Hey babes, just keeping my place and catching up.

elf you are doing so incredibly well, of all the things I worried about whilst getting sober, I didn't account for "feeling feelings". I ached with pain and regret, actual pain in my heart for what I'd done to my family, especially my teenage daughter who was terrified of losing me and very angry so after previously drinking myself unconscious when it got to much I was left completely exposed and terrified and of course burning with shame. To this day the thing I miss most is the numbness, the blissful down the first glass on a empty stomach numbness, it almost melts the feelings away. It was excruciating to feel real feelings and some days still is. As venus says sometimes we just need to let the feelings happen and feel the pain knowing it will pass, it's truly terrifying but it does pass, it's the biggest challenge I've faced by a mile that's why I needed to post, so you know your not alone. I'm so proud of you and willing you on.

I don't have time to NC but to friends old and new, I think your awesome and I see myself in every one of you and it's nice to know I'm not alone on this sometimes lonely road. Xxx

One glass of wine tonight.

Good evening all (sound like a copper saying that ). How is everyone? Had a lovely day on the beach and watching the dog run herself ragged, it's lovely to spend time with the family. Watching scott and bailey and nurse jackie before bed (but will switch to mrs browns boys just before bed otherwise I'll have nihtmares about arrows through lungs or dead bodies). Tomorrow having a chilled day, before meal out. Travelling back Friday evening. Trying very hard not to get myself into a tizz over court, will probably need handholding/stern words/reassuring Sunday and Monday nights (appearing as witness on Tuesday, god help me)

Holiday sounds lovely Made and just what you need before a stressful week next week.

(Waves) to Ma.

I've taken the morning off work and I'm going to the GP (finally) to talk honestly about what's been going on with me and to try and get some help. Haven't got an appointment until Monday but hoping she'll see me today. Wish me luck Babes - I feel stomach-churningly nervous.

Good luck Margie

Morning all,

collective hello to everyone, so sorry not to NC you all.

Margie you fantastic and brave lady, I think you've made an excellent decision, I really do and I wish you heaps and heaps of luck.

This could be a whole new start, a first step to healing and feeling better. Try to be excited about that not nervous (although nervous is understandable of course)
If you're doctor is helpful and understanding then you will be giving yourself a gift

Hope everyone has a wonderful day, nearly the Easter hols. I have no idea where the year is going, racing by.

Morning all, just popping by to say hi. I am still generally around, but mostly back to lurking status.

Morning, just posting quickly to get myself back on the thread. Will catch up and read back properly later.

Day 30.

Thanks Ruby and Lux. I'm so glad I went. I cried and cried and cried but the doctor was lovely and gentle and caring and made me feel so much better. She said I've got depression and prescribed anti-depressants - they're called Setraline, anyone familiar with them? I have to take half a tablet a day for the first week, then a whole tablet a day and I'm going back to see her in 3 weeks.

It felt so good just to say things out loud, made me realize how much I've kept trapped inside, only ever saying it on this bus.

Well done Margie that was a great step to take. The best way for ADs to start doing their work is if you don't mix them with alcohol, so if you can, drink water, tea, juice instead. And keep posting through all the ups and downs.

Aw Margie that's great though, I'm on sertraline and I've found it's helped. I started it during pregnancy at a low dose and I'm up to 150mg now, I was on another one before but this one doesn't seem to take away the happy if you know what I mean, just stops the sad and anxious getting out of hand

I'm on sertraline, Margie. I've been on various ADs over the years and these have been the best for me, one way and another. Massive well done on going to see your GP. She sounds brilliant!!

I took 100 mg sertraline for almost a year and overall had a really good experience (not so much with the blasted errors with my repeat subscription, grr). You have to wait a while for the full effects to build up but after that it was fine, I just remembered a lot more of my dreams which became pretty vivid!

*prescription not subscription

Well done Margie, yet another brave step for you. Keep posting to let us know how you get on. I agree with Venus about it being extra important to avoid alcohol if you can and give them the best chance of working. Remember, it's only the first glass you have to avoid and it's not forever, just for today x

You've given yourself a fantastic gift Margie I'm so glad the doctor was onside. Really, Big hugs and cheers from me. Onwards and upwards.

Hello sorry to not have NC'd, will do better next week when back to normality. It's been a lovely, relaxing week and with the help of not being able to lay my hands on any pills (mine or mam's) I've began to get to sleep naturally again. Am coming home tomorrow and in work (1-10) on Saturday. Had nice day today, went to St Ives abd on beach which dog loved. Had a big meal out and now feeling a bit bleeurgh (moderated drinking v. well though) so sitting in dark with glass of water and tv, hoping that helps. Will prob be in land of nod by midnight

Morning!
made
So glad you are enjoying Cornwall. I'd give anything to move back to the SW. Part of my problem lies in immense homesickness and loneliness. My friends at home have known me since I was 5, I don't have that friendship circle up here. In fact now we've gone rural it's pretty much just himself and I .
elba Well done You! Do you have a just giving link at all? Id happily donate when i get paid.
Margie Hang on in there. Baby steps all the way
( I found sertraline gave me night terrors and I started sleep walking BUT I have a very vivid imagination so thats probaly why it manifested like that in me.)
luxuary I treated myself to a new pair of work shoes in a sale yesterdsy and a limoges bowl from the charity shop to keep my vast collection of bath melts in.

Hopefully today I can finally get my manager to confirm what the fuck is going on with my hours and when the cut starts. I know they are stringing me along to use me whilst the new person is on the road. Himself said I should just leave which I'm seriously considering. As I'm selfemployed as a consultant I don't have to give notice. They employ everyone this way to avoid tax.
Sorry not to NC all but I'm on my phone and can only see a few comments per page.
Hope you all have a great day.

Hi babes, hope you're all having a good Friday night.

Venus, Flowery, Elf, Carte, Faire, Mint, thank you all for the words of wisdom on setraline. I was so tempted to have a drink tonight, there are very few Friday nights when I don't, but I remembered your advice and managed to resist, I really need the ADs to work for me.

Had a chat with DH about it tonight as he is a bit anti the idea, thinks I should have gone for counselling before going down the medication route. But I trust my GP and I want to give this a chance to work.

Well done Margie each time you make a little decision like that is a step in the right direction, and it builds from there.

Margie so glad you went and have got the help you need, it's such a hard thing to do but hopefully things will turn around for you soon. Sounds like you have a lovely GP. I think whilst counselling is often really important, sometimes medication is needed first in order to sort of make a dent and take the edge off things. Sending you lots of hugs.

Mint the job situation sounds very stressful, and stringing you along and avoiding tax is not on! Do you have other things lined up? Thank you for the sponsorship offer- I really need to sort a page out! I originally said I would do it after my half, then after each subsequent long run...! I've just been scared of not going through with it so have been selective in who I've told in real life. Tuesday will be my last long run so I guess if I get around that I'm committed to it...

I have a little request to make. I have now outrun (and am bored to death of!) the playlist I made when I got my London place. Tuesday should be my last long run- 20 miles of running on my own- and the thought alone is a bit soul destroying. Any song suggestions would be welcome, and I promise I will add anything anyone suggests. Any genre goes, just hoping to get some songs that have significance to a group of people that have helped me so much over the past year and a bit!