Husband's reaction re cheating

[eclipse16]

Hi everyone, just after some advice from you lovely ladies who have sadly experienced infidelity.
I am happily married, however have reason to believe my husband may have been unfaithful last night. I'd rather not go into specifics, paranoid about the Daily Fail! I approached him with my concerns this morning after finding evidence (it's doesn't 100% mean he cheated however it seems likely and is evidential enough for me to think such a thing and bring it up in the first place), and he lost his rag and seemed genuinely hurt that I would think such a thing. He's made me feel like I'm the one in the wrong, which I could well be true I guess.

My question to you, is how did your partner react when you first confronted him about cheating? His reaction has thrown me as he seemed so genuinely angry and upset and now I don't know if I'm being played for a fool or not! It's so hard to know whether I should be apologising or leaving him!

I will never be able to find out more than what I already know about last night so it's impossible to do further digging.

If he hadn't cheated, he might be upset but would want to reassure you and work through it with you. The misplaced anger seems like deflection to me

Ugh... poor you.

I was engaged and once, he leaned in to kiss me, and I jumped back- "Why does your nose smell like...kitty?!"

He angrily convinced me I was crazy, I found out months later I was right...

My husband was, strangely, not angry at all. Completely denied it, I was the only one etc. a bit of anger came about 6 weeks later when he realised I wS still searching for answers. He finally admitted it then.
Best wishes for you.

He didn't shower when he got in
I bought a condom today and tasted it and it seemed really familiar but I'm still questioning it and probably always will now to be honest

I'm not sure how my posts have come across but I'm not insecure in our relationship at all, this is the first time I have questioned him. I do have an over active imagination however that is more about health, parents health etc, not about my marriage

It's not something I can end a happy marriage over as I would always question 'what if', I really wish we didn't have bloody wet wipes in our bathroom, that would have made things a lot easier!
I think the only thing I can do now is have a more eagle eye. I'm pretty laid back (or a mug!) and give him a lot of freedom at the moment, so I will definitely be more vigilant now

You have no evidence at all that he has had sex; you're going on a condom, I agree they do have a distinctive smell so it's a bit odd.

Perhaps if he didn't go to strip bars you'd be less insecure; I'd not accept my partner going into these places; he's obviously not that much of a prude OP.

Just keep your eyes and ears alert.

Adora - You are right. If he is innocent then I hate that he has made me go through this and think these thoughts in the first place, so I think I'm going to speak to him about not going to anymore strip clubs as I don't think I'd deal with it very well if he does.

I've sent you a pm, hope that's ok.

Hi OP. I totally understand how this will be playing on your mind. I would be absolutely the same, I don't trust my DH (for good reason, another thread entirely).
As an aside, have you... errrr... checked his underwear? If he did have sex with a condom then remove it it's very likely there will be all kinds of gooey nastiness left in his undies. Especially if he was as drunk as you say, he may not have thought to clean properly..?

I hope everything works out for you, it's so hard when you doubt your relationship

Op, are they wipes that flush down the loo or have you got a bin in the bathroom? Just a thought.

Not sure the smell of a condom would stay overnight but I may be wrong.