Husband's reaction re cheating

[eclipse16]

Hi everyone, just after some advice from you lovely ladies who have sadly experienced infidelity.
I am happily married, however have reason to believe my husband may have been unfaithful last night. I'd rather not go into specifics, paranoid about the Daily Fail! I approached him with my concerns this morning after finding evidence (it's doesn't 100% mean he cheated however it seems likely and is evidential enough for me to think such a thing and bring it up in the first place), and he lost his rag and seemed genuinely hurt that I would think such a thing. He's made me feel like I'm the one in the wrong, which I could well be true I guess.

My question to you, is how did your partner react when you first confronted him about cheating? His reaction has thrown me as he seemed so genuinely angry and upset and now I don't know if I'm being played for a fool or not! It's so hard to know whether I should be apologising or leaving him!

I will never be able to find out more than what I already know about last night so it's impossible to do further digging.

Sounds to me more like he got a backroom blowjob than had sex with another women, still cheating to most, mind.

How the fuck does it sound like that?

I think he was joking Opal although things like this really do bother me, I'm racking my brain now to try think if I've ever noticed it taste different or not!!
I obviously need to get out more!

Get out more or get it out more?

We use condoms and they all have a very definite scent and taste, no matter which ones you use. It's unmistakeable.

Karmaisabitch I hate the word you used to describe how your partner reacted. I have reported it, there is no place for that here.

Oh ffs! Get a grip on life please.

It's used regularly! If you take offence to things people say then you clearly use those words in their original context!

What has this world come to!

Thanks everyone! I know I do sound a bit mental but honestly we have a normal loving relationship and I trusted him implicitly. I have never had any reason to believe he's been unfaithful before and have never accused him of such. It was such a distinctive taste and I can't seem move on from it. I almost just wish I hadn't have gone down there today so then I would never know and we could carry on as normal
But I have, and it's turned me into an obsessed deranged woman! The mind is a horrible thing!
I am not going to speak to anyone in RL about this as that would be really disrespectful to him if it wasn't true

Karma maybe 30 years ago it was fine to use that word, but it really has been out of bounds for a long time.

Be careful op, don't want to offend anyone by using the word mental, the PP before might report you!!

Erm, Karma, I've never heard anyone say it and never seen it written on here.

Eclipse, so sorry you're going through this. I hope you manage to get some kind of resolution.

No that word is totally disrespectful.

Anyway, OP, clutching at straws here. He goes to the strip club, gets aroused, posh wank in the loo and too embarrassed to tell you?? I agree the taste/smell is unmistakeable.

I can understand how you're feeling eclipse I'm overthinking if I should have noticed a different taste or not!

I'm really not sure what to suggest though.

I'm 19 Karmais and that word is offensive and I wouldn't use it!

Sorry remind me - if he floats does that mean he's NOT a witch?

Lost of desperate projection by others on this thread who seem to be fiending for this bloke to be a cheat and liar.

OP: put shoe on other foot. Are you telling me that after persistent questioning on the basis of no evidence, you wouldn't get pretty defensive at being accused of something you didn't do?

Revolutionary idea - maybe he hasn't done anything wrong.

Laurzj - I would weirdly jump for joy if that scenario was true! Never thought I'd say that! He would have had to buy a pack of condoms from a machine though which seems a ridiculous thing to do for a wank but who knows!

Sorry to say but trust your instincts. My stbxh did this sort of thing several times over the years we were married. I was too trusting and naive, believed him but many years afterwards he admitted he had cheated, prostitute on a stag do, women on nights out etc, had no shame or sorrow about the hurt he had caused me just said it didn't mean anything to him. When I did catch him out and had proof (emails between him and woman he'd slept with) at first he reacted exactly like your H angry and actually quite antagonist towards me, how dare I think such a thing of him etc etc was only when I showed him I had proof did he change his story and even then would never admit exactly what he'd done. I gave him another chance and he did it again! Don't sell yourself short, he convinced me that what he had done was exact what all men do when out without their partners and that all his friends did exactly the same. I always believed that he was a nice person but he wasn't he was a liar and a cheat and fundamentally he never changed because he saw nothing wrong with doing what he wanted regardless of how much hurt he caused me. Oh and btw he always said he wasn't bother about strip clubs either but went to many and once was cleaned out and rang me in the middle of the night saying he'd been mugged and could I come get him but he still had his wallet and phone and wasn't injured had just taken the maximum out on his card and spent the lot. Didn't realise this was what must have happened until years later when he was boasting to some other mates about the nights out he used to go on and that they always ended in the strip club. Something I didn't know about at the time cause we were skint and I wouldn't have put up with him spending money we didn't have.

Oh and anyone who says trust your gut / trust your instinct is talking shit. Our gut / instinct is wrong all the bloody time. Half the reason this planet is in the crappy shape it is, is because people think their magical instincts are better than evidence and reasons.

I'm not saying he's definitely innocent. I'm not saying he's definitely guilty. But there's no evidence of anything either way.

Op i don't know if your dh cheated or not but i would lose my shit if my partner accused me of cheating. I wouldn't be reassuring, i would be bloody angry. Btw if your dh was at a strip club he could hardly be described as a prude.

And "trust your instincts" followed by "because my life turned out like this" is doubly to be mistrusted. I'm sure it's meant well, but it's pure projection based on pure anecdote. That is not evidence.

The smell and taste after a condom is removed is absolutely unmistakable (and revolting) in my opinion.

Could a baby wipe taste similar to a condom? I think maybe it could.

RedastheRose - Sorry to hear about what happened to you, glad you got the truth in the end