I've upset my best friend of 10 years, and now she wants nothing to do with me. I only saw her two weeks ago and we spent the day watching movies and planning a summer holiday together. But the next day I was browsing facebook when I saw she had written a very angry status: "how dare you talk badly of me just to make yourself look better, you don't know me, you are a fake friend". It was then I realized that it was me she was mad at since she had ignored a message I sent her earlier. I was confused at first but then I clicked on to what I'd done.
Turns out she found something I had written about her online a few months ago. It sounds stupid but I was into psychology and I was learning about personality types (known as mbti). I was trying to figure out the 'types' of myself, my friends and family etc...but I struggled to figure them out. So I went on a forum specially made for 'typing' people and wrote a list of mine and my friend's personality traits (not mentioning any names). Unfortunately, I did put a lot of lot of negative traits like stubborn, passive-aggressive, easily irritated etc. I really wasn't intending to be mean, just trying to paint a picture -- I said the similar things about myself too. So that is what she found and I'm devastated I've upset her because it's not how I truly see her. It was just an objective observation to try and understand her better.
I tried to apologise numerous times over the next week. I explained about the personality types and what I was trying to do. She replied and said she didn't understand why we were friends if I thought that badly of her. She concluded that I wasn't a bad person but I wasn't a good friend and she was too hurt to ever trust me again. She said she was happy alone. I was so upset with myself. I told her how much I appreciated her and even spent an evening making her a big apology card and sent it to her, but now she has completely stopped speaking to me.
I just can't believe I have lost a friend just because I was trying to figure her personality type on an anonymous website. I totally understand how hurt she must have felt reading it. I just wish she'd realize I think the world of her, despite anything bad I said. I know friends are supposed to have each others backs no matter what and I feel like I've failed. I see imperfections in everyone and that doesn't mean I think any less of them. I'm just over-analytical like that and I'd never be deliberately mean.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because I'm feeling so down about it all right now and I'm just looking for some advice. Will she ever be able to forgive me when I can hardly forgive myself? :(