Am I being gaslighted?

[AllTheBestPeopleAre]

This morning dh left for work and I woke up to him getting a pair of socks and boxers out of his draw, I asked him what are you doing he said getting some socks and boxers and left it as that, he was already dressed.

I woke up this morning and thought why was taking those.

Texting him today I asked him why he'd took them as he was already he said he only took socks because he had nothing on his feet. I am adamant he had boxers too. And he said boxers.

He's now calling me a dick and saying I'm making him out to be a liar but the thing is I seen the boxers in his hand.

Since splitting up and getting back together I've felt paranoid and even come off medication wandering if it was that that was making me feel that way. But I'm also not allowed to know the pin to his phone which was never a problem before.

I just don't know if it's my gut instinct or I am paranoid.

My understanding may be different then as I believe it's to manipulate someone into questioning what is real. To question their reality, to make them question if they really did see / hear something.

The OP clearly heard him say he was taking socks and boxers, he then said he hadn't said this, that is gas lighting

I think you are right to be suspicious OP. I'd always go with your gut instinct, if you always shared passwords etc and it's changed, I would be concerned.

If either my husband or I had a pound for every time one of us misunderstood or misinterpretered or misheard something, we'd be millionaires by now.

People do it all the time, I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I think I've sent a text or an email, or told my husband about an upcoming event, but I haven't, we've both heard the same conversation differently etc. It happens.

Obviously gaslighting can occur, but mistakes can also occur also, and its impossible often to tell which is which, certainly for one off issues. I can't see what possible reason he'd have to lie about pants! Maybe he did for some weird reason, maybe your memory of it is wrong. Unless you've got a time machine, its impossible to know for sure.

Further, it was at 4am, and you'd just woken up. That makes it even harder to know for sure what happened.

I'm more puzzled tbh about how and why you keep such a tight rein on which pants he wears. Are they particularly distinctive? Unless all of his pants are grey, except for one bright green kermit the frog pair or something, I'm surprised you could identify which pants they were, whilst still lying in bed.

Whatever is going on here, you don't seem to have a lot of trust for him at all.

Sorry you are going through this. Surprised at pp saying how strange they find it that you would know each other's pin/password. DH and I both know each other's passwords for everything, why wouldn't you? If you trust each other lot to snoop what's the issue? If Dh was in an accident or worse it would be a total headfuck trying to work all that out on top.