DP is lovely in many many ways. We are happy together most of the time. He spends most of his time at my house and we've been considering moving in together.
But, he doesn't communicate all that well, and if he's not happy about something he will get into a mood and (as I see it) take it out on me.
Last night out of nowhere as we were going to bed he got pissed off about something which seemed pretty trivial, along the lines of someone else in the household being inconsiderate. No big deal, I thought. I said I'd have a word (it's my house, so for me to sort out) but he didn't snap out of it right away and started giving me the cold shoulder.
We ended up with me in tears. He says I'm oversensitive. He says that it's normal for people to get stressed out and rant about things which are outside their control. I said that it's not outside his control, as if something is a problem and he tells me we can do something about it.
He wouldn't respond to that or talk about things at all. If I try to talk he gets defensive and says I just talk at him. He won't say how he feels. He says that I've got no reason to be upset. He will say tomorrow that it's not his fault at all. That it's entirely my fault because it's my reaction to him that is the problem rather than anything he's done.
I've been lying awake for hours in a separate bed trying to decide what to do. I can see his point of view, in that if I'd just paid no attention to his moaning he probably would have got over it in the end and there wouldn't have been an argument. But why should I lie in bed in silence while I wait for him to snap out of it?!
So what I wanted to ask was, am I expecting too much of him? Am I being unfair by basically expecting him to be perfect, as i'm getting upset every time he is in a mood about something? He's so lovely most of the time, which I think is why I find it so upsetting, as he's like a different person when this happens.
Do other peoples partners / husbands do this? I need to decide whether I can live with this and find ways to cope with it, or whether it's time to walk away, and I honestly don't know whether I'm expecting too much of him. We have a good relationship most of the time and he is a kind loving partner, and he puts up with my faults, so maybe I'm being intolerant of his? I could really do with some outside perspective before our alarms go off and I have to face him