why do people want to get married

[juswonderin]

Looks like most marriage are unhappy. What's the point of marriage? For kids? Why can't they be raised to be happy, healthy adults by single unmarried parents? Do you think when kids grow up (next 20-30 years), marriage will be as important in society as it is now?

I am just very fed up with my own problems and was wondering what's the point? I was a happy person once. Sorry for the rant.

BTW - I know plenty of happy married couples. I know a few unhappily married ones.

Meant to say - I also know unmarried couples who are unhappy but are still together - I don't think being married or unmarried gives you the monopoly on happiness.

You weren't sneering when you implied I'd pulled widely available stats out of my arse because I am bitter?!

Ok then...

I think its personal choice. For some couples they don't feel the need, for others they do. Ive always wanted to get married, so has my DP (we are getting married next year) , our daughter also wants us to. As others have said ive seen people happy in marriage and people unhappy in marriage, that isn't because of the piece of paper though, its because of the people.

I got married because I found my soul mate.
Sounds mushy I know but its true. I hadn't considered wanting to get married before I met DH. We've been together 7 years so far and it still feels like the 1st. We have a lovely 4 month old baby boy and are all wrapped up in our little bubble of love.

I know...someone pass the sick bucket. I just wanted to share our happy marriage story. It goes both ways I suppose. You see marriages happen for various reasons, love, money, Children, loneliness or perhaps first love that you never moved on from. We got married because we love each other.

We eloped to Vegas so no one was there but I was pregnant with so he was technically present!

We married for various financial/security reasons, but I totally respect those who choose not to. Everyone is different!

*with ds1

fucks sake

I think I got married as my mum had recently died (I was in my 40s) and I was feeling a bit adrift and alone and felt that marrying would give me some security.

I'm unusual in my group for being married, most are on serious second relationships after divorce and really don't want to get married again.

My DH is on his second time round and was quite upbeat about trying marriage again but I know other people who were so scarred by divorce that they just don't want to even though v happy with their partner.

Strawberry I don't think it's too mushy at all - although the 'bubble of love' might be pushing it a bit

I think it's sad that people almost feel they have to apologise for saying they are happy in their relationship. Quite often in RL I will find myself just keeping quiet when people are talking about their unhappy relationships and how 'all men are bastards, lazy, etc'. It's hard to actually then say 'Well that's not my experience' without being accused of being smug. But start talking about how crap and miserable your relationship is and people can't get enough of it.

I genuinely don't understand the need some people have to deride the choices others make. It makes me sad to be honest.

It's hard to actually then say 'Well that's not my experience' without being accused of being smug.
Something like "I guess I've been lucky" would go down OK with me - though after I'd been shat upon by my ex it was a while before I wanted to compare myself with the lucky ones. (And tbh I still just think "tomorrow you might have the shock of your life like me"!)

As someone who's extremely happily married I tend not even to say that when people are talking about their relationship difficulties. Seems insensitive and dickish, like flaunting. Otoh some people who are happily married also make a big display of it, so perhaps we cancel each other out.

"Looks like most marriage are unhappy."

They do in this forum, but mainly because it's thread after thread of Utterly Batshit Mental.

Anyway, my DH and I are a team. We're like the Two Ronnies making breakfast. Because we work together, stuff gets done fast, cheap, fun and everything ticks on well. We enjoy being a team. We enjoy the job of raising our family and growing our little life.

It really is supposed to be that simple.

Thankfully there's no sex texts, dick pics, violence, accusations one us has a mental illness, alcohol or drug abuse, theft, debt, anger, rage, bitterness and spite, so I guess for us it's pretty positive.

Would I do it again? No, I don't trust people. As we can see in these threads, Other People seem to come with debts, violence, drug problems, jealousy, rage, bitterness and spite. I seem to have struck lucky once, but I could get one of these rejects next time.