Partner left me - I've not eaten since Thursday. When will I cope?

[CantstandmLMs]

My relationship has ended and it's the biggest shock. This time last week we were so in love but he's left me.

Thursday night I didn't eat and got drunk off two strong vodka and oranges. I've not eaten since - yesterday I forced myself to have a bath and ate a mini fun size bag of M&Ms as I thought I should have something. I couldn't stomach anything else. I have no appetite at all, the thought of eating makes me feel like being sick, I think because I'm keeping being sick at bay just thinking about things.

I've read a couple of other threads and I know this kind of heart ache is normal. He was my first and only love. He's not responding to me now so I suppose I have to accept that. I'm so worried about going to work Monday and having to start telling people

Should I force myself to eat? All I managed yesterday was to get into the bath and then I changed my bedsheets. I just want to sleep and hideaway. But when I have work I'll have no strength if I don't eat?

I think I might find a psychological thriller for my kindle to get stuck into. Any reccs?

Ah! This I can help you with. It was a coping mechanism for me and I read millions:

Elizabeth Forbes, Who Are You?
Trigger Warning: This book may not be suitable for anyone with a history of physical abuse I thought it was a brilliant book though myself.

www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Are-You-Elizabeth-Forbes/dp/1908122730/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=X4YST8M4ZFJ7XRC927AJ&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Sabine Durrant Remember me This Way

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1444762443/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Elizabeth Haynes Into The Darkest Corner
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0956251579/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Rachel Abott Sleep Tight

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0957652232/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Clare Kendall The Book of You

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0007531648/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Elizabeth Forbes, Nearest Thing to Crazy
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1908122587/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Gillian Flynn Gone Girl
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0753827662/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

I will second "Into the Darkest Corner". Was just about to post on here recommending it.

Thanks for the reccs!

Ooh Dilkington that Kopperburg sound great!! That's honestly the only thing that I've had an "appetise" for all weekend! I've stayed away from alcohol since Thursday though and feel that was a good thing.

No I haven't managed to eat. I tried a bag of crisps and managed half...never in my life have I eaten half of something like that! Oh well at least it was something. I may try and eat a little granola before bed.

My friend who I'm booked at the spa with messaged me and I confessed what had happened. She called and it was really helpful actually. She said we can go for a drink Tuesday night as her partners away so that will help distract me! They both can't believe it and are sure he'll be back in contact (false hope may not be the most helpful) but have been really kind about next weekend said we're going to have a great time regardless so that's made me feel better.

I'm about to do my bath, herbal tea and bed routine! Wish me luck. I'm never the best sleeper a Sunday before work but I hope it can be like the past two days and without the 4am wake up!!

Hope you get an early night, work will be a good distraction for you.

No I haven't managed to eat. I tried a bag of crisps and managed half...never in my life have I eaten half of something like that!

Seriously - I wasn't joking when I said embrace it. People pay good money to avoid eating crisps at all!! Honestly it won't last for ever. Heartbreak diet at least has some benefits.

Yes I sure am Autumnal. As someone who loves food I'll take some weight loss!

Cant and everyone else on this thread going through it. I hope you all managed some sleep last night.
Cant I hope your first day back to work goes well.

I woke up feeling sad again. It hit me all over again as soon as I opened my eyes. I'm finding it difficult that he's not speaking to me. Why? I don't know. It's painful. I know I need time on my own, to concentrate on myself, but it's so hard from going speaking everyday to absolutely nothing. Today marks a week since the split.

I am back to work tomorrow so I'm going to relax with a good book today, a good movie on in the background. A friend of mine called last night and we had a long chat on the phone, I felt so much better for it after, she always knows how to cheer people up so I went to bed at least a little happier than previous nights. I am finding having support really really important. She also went through a bad split about a year ago so she was very good on the advice front too.

Sending lots of and to everyone today. :)

To all of you, I promise you it will get better. Just over 2 years ago my ex finished with me totally out of the blue - I was distraught, couldn't eat, sleep, work was hard and I couldn't stop obsessing over him, thinking about what he was doing and if he was thinking of me etc. There was no one else involved so it wasn't a bitter break up but I am not sure if that actually made it better or worse. I got through it, found reading non fiction books about people going through worse than me made me feel fortunate and therefore better. It took me a while, but slowly I got back - it didn't happen over night and I didn't wake up one day and feel ok, it was a case of looking back one day and seeing where I was compared to where I had been a few months earlier.

I was convinced that I would never find anyone else again, who I could love like him and I would be alone forever... A year to date after he finished with me, I met someone else who I am still with now. He is a total upgrade, I am so much happier... I am so grateful he finished with me as I would never have met current BF.

This quote also really helped me get through those first few weeks/months... It is true. One day you will sit down and realise you are ok, because you will be...

"You let time pass. That’s the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and you realize you’re okay.”

charliemay wow that made me tearful! Thanks for your words of wisdom.

Hi guys, I hope you are all okay? I'm sorry I abandoned this thread for a few days...what a few days it has been

I caved and sent my ex a valentine card he replied the next morning saying he'd received it and again he can't do it he's not what I need and goodbye argh!!

still here like you can't just stop loving someone in a few days!!

So against better judgement I decided to drive to his to confront. I had no idea he'd let me in even but I thought it was a cowards way of doing it by text. He seemed worn down and basically we spoke for 2 hours! Went through all the emotions. He asked me to leave at various points, sometimes quite sternly and I refused.

What I realised though, is that this whole thing is bigger than me. Our argument and what's happened since is tip of the iceberg. He's been dealing with a LOT and although very open and giving to me he kept a lot of it at bay and I think it's all exploded into a breakdown. I'm not excusing him at all! He's now a shell of a man losing even more than he's lost. It breaks my heart. He was in total protective mode.

Again, against better judgement I asked for a hug goodbye as I realised yes I had to leave his decision was firm. I then asked for a kiss goodbye, literally a quick kiss on the lips. But it got passionate we ended up sleeping together he was the real him from them the attentive loving person he always was. It fucking killed me as I knew it was still the end. He even said I was perfect etc etc knife to the heart this morning he cuddled me firm and I said I won't see you again will I he said no it hurts to much and I said I know I have to move on now and he cried and I left.

Sorry for the long winded post and to the people who advised against this I know I know. It definitely hurts more. I'm not in limbo anymore now though and I know that's it. I've told my nearest and dearest and cried my bloody eyes out. I feel like a husk of a person and the fact I got 3 hours sleep isn't helping.

Onwards and upwards wobble

I was wondering how you were doing cant
Don't feel guilty for going over to his.
At least you have a little more closure now and can work on moving on.
I would definitely advise going no contact on him now. You can work on yourself and healing.
I hope you manage to get some sleep too.

Yes absolutly MyUsername, I am going no contact now. I had the last word face to face and I find some resolution in that no matter how it hurts.

How are you getting along?

Just wondering how you guys are doing? I'm feeling very vulnerable and sad. My ex has now blocked me and removed anyone to do with me (even people I thought he never would) this promoted a drunk text from me asking wtf and it was because he'd seen pictures of me over the weekend "enjoying myself" and felt I was rubbing his nose in it, clearly over him etc. Oh what a mind fuck when he got rid of me! Ended up texting for ages but same old stuff but it threw me right back to square 1!! So trying to build myself back up AGAIN!!

Feel this will be the case for a long time to come (although pretty sure we won't be communicating).

I can eat now though

I know no one has spoken on this thread for a while now, but I was wondering how you are all getting on years later?