Partner left me - I've not eaten since Thursday. When will I cope?

[CantstandmLMs]

My relationship has ended and it's the biggest shock. This time last week we were so in love but he's left me.

Thursday night I didn't eat and got drunk off two strong vodka and oranges. I've not eaten since - yesterday I forced myself to have a bath and ate a mini fun size bag of M&Ms as I thought I should have something. I couldn't stomach anything else. I have no appetite at all, the thought of eating makes me feel like being sick, I think because I'm keeping being sick at bay just thinking about things.

I've read a couple of other threads and I know this kind of heart ache is normal. He was my first and only love. He's not responding to me now so I suppose I have to accept that. I'm so worried about going to work Monday and having to start telling people

Should I force myself to eat? All I managed yesterday was to get into the bath and then I changed my bedsheets. I just want to sleep and hideaway. But when I have work I'll have no strength if I don't eat?

My partner has does it every 6 months, getting used to it now. Alcohol does not help but those Nytol tablets help for the sleeplessness.

Andy your partner leaves you every 6 months? Or it's been 6 months?

I hate the gut feeling about there being another woman. Doesn't help that he's changed his profile photo on FB to one of him and another woman, although I've heard from two mutual friends that the girl in the photo is 'just' a friend and nothing to worry about. I have hid him on FB as the thought of seeing photos like that make me feel sad basically.
Finding it difficult tonight and having a small wobble, tempted to text him. It's hard not to hear from him. What hurts is the fact he's acting as if I don't exist anymore, it's like he's simply deleted me from his life. I've been reading the email I sent him over and over and I'm wondering whether he's annoyed by it (I literally poured my heart out about how heartbroken I felt, it wasn't anything angry or aggressive but I did tell him how much he had hurt me).
I'm going to be strong and sit on my hands, no texting him!

I'm glad your friend made you feel a little better. It's always nice to have someone to confide in. I have found having people to lean on is essential. Please continue to keep your energy up, even if it's only a small snack. Sounds good that you're going to keep busy tonight with a good film, I think I'll be doing the same. Do you have any plans for the rest of the weekend? I find making plans is helping, even if it's something small like taking a walk.

I'll definitely stay in contact (apologies if it seems I've hijacked your thread, not intended to!)

Oh not at all, I want to help so please keep posting here. You're right not to text. The email might sink in and he'll contact but if not you probably won't get anywhere messaging and you'll feel even worse at no response to that also.

Sorry about your wobble but you sound like you have a grip on this and your coping trategies are helping.

I can picture mine confiding in another woman right now. He has been online almost constantly (I know I shouldn't check) meaning he's chatting to somebody.
I know he really thinks about stuff and suspect he's feeling guilty but that doesn't really help me. He's not a great communicator when he's done wrong so not surprised by the "I don't know what to say". I expect that's all I'll hear unless he decides to tell me the whole truth eventually.

I don't have any plans for the weekend as this is all so new I'm coping day by day just being alone. I found it was a personal accomplishment to be out of bed most of the day unlike yesterday. Looking forward to my bath soon. I think tomorrow will be similar with maybe a short walk for some fresh air in preparation for work Monday.

Nearly 4 years and she threatened to leave every 6 months, love her dearly but can't keep up with the roller coaster. I get more immune each time but it always hurts.

My LTR ended a year ago and I'm much better now than back then. My heart literally ached, I couldn't believe it. I didn't eat properly for about 4 months, just had the odd bowl of cereal, crackers, soup, water, when I could stomach them. I felt so desperate, bereft, cried so much, didn't know what to do with myself. I just kept telling myself to live minute by minute and be gentle with myself. I thought I'd never recover. My family and the few friends I've got were great and really helped me to cope. I lurked on mumsnet a lot and found it really reassuring. I was genuinely stunned at how many relationship breakups happen, naive I know, but I really had no idea just how many unhappy relationships there are. I constantly asked myself, why would I want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me and that definitely helped me. I found going out a real problem for a long time, but I'm mostly ok now and manage to cope with most things. I'm definitely much stronger now.

Hope this helps. You'll be ok. Allow yourself the time you need and don't expect too much from yourself. You're doing well, from the sound of things.

Thanks Trustyourself sorry you have been through it too.

I have been able to fall asleep early the last few nights and find comfort in sleep but I wake up around 4 every morning and the bad thoughts and feelings continue. Having happy dreams about the two of us isn't helping!!

Can I join you? I'm in a similar situation. I was awake until 4 in the morning, I just can't sleep. This sick feeling is horrible isn't it. I can't stop shaking for some reason either.

Hopefully we can help support each other through this shitty time.

Oh DearMrDilkington not you as well? we have Valentine's Day to get through yet.

I thought I knew where my life was going now I don't. He was the person I told everything to I never felt so close to someone in my life. My heart has well and truly been ripped out. Feeling so depressed today.

Mr what is your situation if you don't mind me asking? How long and was this out of the blue?

I ended things because I'm 90% sure his been cheating. He won't admit anything, his pretending it's all in my head, I know enough to know his been lying but no idea for how long for or what's happened. I know his not telling the truth and his face when I confronted him said more than enough.

Soul destroying isn't it. I'm so angry about it all. Has to be right before Valentine's day when every other happy couple will be all over the place all smug and in love.

Bleghh. Sorry I'm venting a lot.

It only happened last night. I've had my doubts for a while but I found out enough to know his been lying and basically laughing at me. People are knobs.

Aww that sucks so bad. You will constantly go over the injustice of it all.

I can't focus on anything!! That's why falling asleep is the only thing that brings me relief.

I'd like to know. He owes me more than this but he initially turned everything on me and then just ended it.

It's dramatic but I feel death would be easier than dealing with my life now. My grandmother has been through much worse and she amazes me how strong she's been so I will have to tell her soon (she'll be gutted) and take some support from her. The thought of telling people makes it so real and threatens to open more wounds. I still think I'm in denial. I need to get strong.

I haven't told anyone yet and i plan to wait as long as possible until I do. It's ridiculous we haven't done anything wrong yet we're the ones who feel embarrassed! Madness.

May I ask what you do in the evenings to help yourself sleep? I always have a real issue sleeping when I'm upset so any advice would be wonderful.

I doubt either of us will ever get answers. I'm going to bet there's a woman involved in both situations. Shit heads.

The friend who I've confided in reckons he possibly did something on his weekend away and out of guilt has turned it on me not trusting him (the irony) and got out of the relationship...

If that's the case I just want the honesty ffs! But also I know him and he doesn't fall lightly. For some reason that sticks in my mind when he became infatuated with me he told me he "falls in love hard" yeah right well I'm now thinking he's fallen for this other woman hard and giving her the spiel. Now I'm old news and a major inconvenience!! - yeah not knowing doesn't help your imagination at all!!

...anyway, so Thursday I couldn't sleep at all. I think that's had the knock on effect of me sleeping the past two nights. I've done a whole routine though and that was an hour long bubble bath with candles (watching something on the iPad and scrolling MN). Then making myself a herbal tea and drinking that in the living room then putting something light on the iPad in my room (I really need the comfort noise right now) and dousing my pillows with olbas oil (also a new random thing but works!)

I have been asleep shortly after 9pm! This is not me at all but I think it's sheer emotional exhaustion! I absolutely hate waking up as it hits me all over again! My back also really ached this morning I think because of how long id been in bed

Hi DearMrDilkington I couldn't sleep either last night, managed about three hours, desperately wanting a nap but I just seem to be able to get a proper nap at all today. Hoping I'll be exhausted by tonight and will sleep through. I've heard good things about getting a good evening routine in place, perhaps a long bath, a herbal tea then some reading? I've been trying that and it has worked a couple of nights.

Cant how is your Sunday afternoon going? I understand what you mean about honesty. I hope you get some answers soon.

I am feeling drained today. I had a good cry this morning but no tears this afternoon and have been getting on with some university work which has taken my mind off it for a while.
I hate the fact he's not text, emailed or called. How can someone just end a relationship (over the phone too) and then act as if the other person didn't exist? Doesn't he realise I'm sat here breaking my heart?
I also really hate the fact when I wake up it hits me all over again.

My emotions are up and down like a rollercoaster which is normal I have read. One minute I'm okay the next I'm crying my eyes out. It's very difficult to not have him around, it's almost like there's this massive hole in my life right now.

I really don't want to think if there's another woman in his life but I have a gut feeling there is. I really don't like the thought of me sat here breaking my heart whilst he's out gallivanting around town with her, no cares in the world. I'm wondering if he's even thought of me since? It's incredibly painful.

I feel sad, angry and just so frustrated that he could do this.

MyUsername I feel the exact same way as you! And mine broke up over text! Text!
I haven't sent any messages since yesterday am when he sent me a weak "I don't know what to say" it said I don't know how to get over this heartbreak so he knows I'm here dying without him. I would say he's trying to focus on his son which is understandable but he's constantly online clearly conversing with someone over messenger.

I really needed to wash my hair so did that and then made a bagel which I forced myself to eat. Was distracted for about half an hour but now back to the same old. I can't watch anything without my mind wandering.

Very nervous about going into the real world tomorrow and dealing with a full day at work. I haven't left the house or seen anyone face to face since Thursday. But it'll be longer periods of distraction and ill have fresh air at least.

I feel so wobbly

Will try a long hot bath tonight and see if that helps. The not knowing is killing me too. Why can't people just be honest. Things could maybe be fixed if they'd just be honest!!

username I got about 4hrs last night but it's still very early days for me. I feel like tonight's going to be worse though.

Are you managing to keep busy?

This is the major problem for me. I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for something, any form of contact that's not going to come. So I'm just sat for hours in pain. I've put film and tv shows on and can't focus. Same with reading. I find the bath and bed routine is my only saving grace but these hours in between waking and sleeping are hopeless

I feel really wobbly too stand. It's the strangest feeling. I feel like my legs are going to give way.

I've got a poorly dd so I'm keeping busy with her. The downside is I just want to get out the house which I can't because shes sick. It's driving me crazy sitting in the house thinking about everything.

Hi, lovely OP. I haven't read through the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating the same advice. When I went through heartbreak many years ago, I couldn't eat either. It felt like I had a lump in my throat and even though I was at times hungry, I just couldn't eat. I decided to try send eat zero-chew meals (there must be a better name!): soup, yogurt, things like that. I also splashed out on the tastiest ingredients so i was more inclined to try. It felt very odd, not being able to sleep.

Like you, I only wanted to sleep, so as not to think. I guess that's one to watch out for as it's a slippery slope to depression.

I tried my best to function. I went out with lovely friends. I made sure I had company. I (even!) Snogged this rather beautiful man, just to remind myself that I was still attractive. And it was actually ok - even if this bloke could not snog, for the life of him. I mean - I swear he didn't know the mechanics of it!!! There I was, mouth open and no tongue forthcoming. So hilarious, telling my friends the next day....

Guess what - I met my husband a couple of weeks later whilst still heartbroken and my pain just went "puf".

It's horrible, though xxxx Take lots of care xx

Aww sorry to hear about your DD that can't be helping at all!

The amount of typos... Sorry!

Thanks for your story pinkcloud I'm glad it all turned well for you.

None of us know what the future has in store. I thought he was going to be my husband. He surprised me on weds night before his weekend away and we spent a lovely morning together Thursday. Exactly a week later it's all in tatters and over?! Sorry to repeat myself I just can't get over it. How can love be so fickle?!

Maybe something did happen on the weekend away and like you said, he feels guilty over it? It's weird that everything was ok before he went away. I do hope you get answers, it's torture not knowing what's happened.