Report to police?

[meerkatsdotcom]

Can you report this to police, repeated poking?

You sit down, they poke you with their first finger, hard, in the side, keep doing it even though you say not to?

I guess not it doesnt. Sound that bad now I've written it down. But it hurts.

What the hell are they doing that for? Is this your partner?

Husband yes

Yes you can. I assume there is waaaaayyyyy more than this though. What's the context?

He just keeps following me round and jabbing me with his fingers/thumb. I know it sounds weird but I think he's just trying to make me feel uncomfortable. I've gone upstairs to get away.

Do you have children with him, OP?

Do you work?

Do you have friends or family you could stay with?

He's trying to cause a fight, in my opinion. He wants you to lash out at him (which would be a normal human reaction to this, I think) so that he can have a fight with you.

Has he ever been violent with you? Verbally abusive?

What the fuck?

What's his problem? I don't get it. What started him off? What's he saying while he does it?

I lived with a family member who did this and I was a nervous wreck.

I'm guessing there is a lot more to it than it sounds, regardless, if anyone is touching you when you dont want them to then it's assault.

Did you imperial? He's occasionally poked before but not consistently like this. I think he's subtly trying to intimidate.

Is he smiling like its a joke? (I know it's not!)
Is he angry?

Nasty smiling.

can you think of any other intimidating behaviour?

so far it is the poking
following you around.

just thinking that it is easier if you have a few things to mention to build up a picture, not that it is not serious enough as it is invading your space.

if you do want to talk to the police I would try the dv unit.

date a record when he does it and when you have asked him to stop.

I think he is trying to be nasty and keep it so that it is uncomplainable about.

He. Early always does this, keeps things just within limits of what could be explained.

What a fucking cunt. You poor thing.

I don't mean this in an accusatory way at all, just asking - why don't you leave him?

In my situation it was pretty constant and overlaid with a distinct threat of violence, which also occurred, either when I snapped or just because he felt like it.

It was definitely intimidation. How could it be anything else?

I would have done anything to get away, with suicide being a very distinct possibility. It had a huge impact on my life and well being.

I'm sorry that I can't advise you to do anything but get away as soon as you can.

This is just awful. He is a spiteful bully. This is repeated intimidating behaviour and yes, the police will be able to report and advise you. (former DV police officer here. Please dont feel worried they won't take you seriously. If they do their job properly, they will).

I want to Well, I really do.

Imperial I've gone all tears with you saying that I feel like it's just me being soft and younsaying that makes me think maybe my reaction is normal after all

The thing with this sort of behaviour is that it puts you on edge and then that has an impact on the rest of your life. And yet if you tell someone, they say things like, "Take no notice" or "Move away." It's almost impossible to explain to someone how awful it is.

What's stopping you from leaving?

I assume he is doing it deliberately because it causes you pain but it sounds too trivial to report to the police. And as Imperial says, because if you lash out/slap his hand away he will claim you 'started it' when he escalates.

Have you asked him why he is doing it? I would honestly record this on your phone if you can (audio, video might be a bit obvious).

How many times has it happened, i.e. how many times has he initiated this?

Can you get away from him?

Your reaction is absolutely normal; he's the one with the problem.

Tell us what your everyday life is like. Does he go out to work? If so, how does he get on with people there?

Do you go out to work?

Do you have children together?

Do you feel anxious all the time? Dread him coming home?

Is he sexually abusive?

In answer to your original question, yes, I'd report it to the police and keep a diary of what he does. He's abusive.

Yes, yes that's exactly it. We've had a row. He told me to get out of the lounge, I normally would but I was angry so didn't and he started with the poking. He does this sort of thing a lot. Sometimes in front of people, like putting his arms round me from behind and it looks like an affectionate hug and actually he's pinning my arms down? So subtle though. Sly.