Like buses. HELP

[1DAD2KIDS]

I have got my self in a huge relationship pickle and don't no what to do.

BACKGROUND:

I am a single parent. My marriage ended over a year ago with my wife walking out on me and the kids for another man. I have spent a long time revaluating life, the nature of relationships and exploring the world again. Anyway I have done a lot of figuring out and soul searching (as some as you may know). And had some wild adventure too. I have come to a stage that although I wish to maintain my independence I am looking for a more meaningful relationship. Something a bit more than causal encounters and FWB I have made.

SITUATION

So before Christmas I got it on with a girl from work at the Christmas party. We said we would go out on a date. She is sexy, fun and great to talk to. I was excited. Someone in the same situation looking for the same thing. Down side is she doesn't live in the same city but not too far away. Anyway I text her after new years and no reply so obviously I had been blown out the water.

Anyway I been on a little coffee date this morning with someone I got chatting to on OLD just before Christmas. Very much in the same situation as me and likewise looking for a chilled relationship. She is stunning, very beautiful and cleaver and intelligent. We share a lot of the same values. The date was hardly fireworks, great conversation but didn't feel much spark. So I wasn’t sure at first. But then at the end I got a real genuine feel that she would like to meet again. Defiantly more of a slow burner but there is interest on both sides. But I have ended up having great relationships with slow burners before. She comes from a fairly traditional Indian family so I not sure if cultural factors may have a part in courtship and to lack of instant flirting. Also I do wonder about sexual compatibility; I am very open minded and adventurous but obviously there would be no way of knowing with her till further down the line. And sexual compatibility is a very important factor in a relationship to me; its a huge part of bonding on a very emotional level.

Then there is a girl I was sleeping with from about 6 months ago from another city. We met on FAB; she has a very sexy aura and we are more sexually compatible than even my ex wife. We just connected and work together perfectly, it is amazing. She is a single parent and we were simply looking for the same at the time. But we connected. She is funny, intelligent and an engineer. It was so cool to meet a fellow electronic and electrical engineering geek. Sounds strange but it is such a turn on to be able to talk to someone who understands engineering. When we first got chatting she understood a geek data connection joke. We work in the same industry (although I in a different capacity). Anyway her job is hard and is a single parent. It all got on top of her as she had to work 100s of miles away during the week. Anyway her job has changed and she has more free time. We got chatting the other day and agreed to see each other again and go on a proper date. Both of us had been thinking about each other over the last few months. Also here the advantage is because we started as fuck buddies (so the speak, hate the term but it was mainly about the sex back then) I know we are sexually compatible. More than anyone I have been with. I don't know why but there was an instant trust between us that is so important. So I don't have to risk weeks of investment to maybe find out we are not compatible.

Anyway I am sure the Gods are playing with me at the moment because on the walk home from my date I got a text from the girl from work. She text me to say sorry she had not text for weeks but she had a serious chest infection (figures why I had not seen her at work). So she had not blown me out after all. Seriously you can write this shit.

So now I have the potential of three beautiful and intelligent women. Each of them different which makes it harder to chose. I like them all in there own way. In an ideal world I could just blend them all together to make the perfect woman for me. But I cant and I have to choose.

WHAT TO DO?

So please don't instantly judge and call me a player or a man-whore, I am not. I agreed to go for a date with the one today only after I thought I had been blown out but the one from work and not realising my engineer friend was open to making it something more. Because of everything going on in our lives it has taken months to get this coffee date today. Then last week engineer comes on the scene and then on the way home the girl from work comes on the scene. Its not a joke and its not funny, seriously like buses and I am stuck.

But it also is the end of my causal phase. A little sad to say good bye to my couple of FWB and playmates. But it’s time for something more emotionally fulfilling. It’s been fun but I am looking for something more.

Do I pick one now with no certainty it will work out and not knowing what it would be like with the others? Or is it ok to go on a date with all of them to make a more informed choice? Has anyone ever dated more than one person in the early stages to help them chose? I don't want to mess anyone around but I do want to make the right choice. I honestly never thought I would be in a position where I would ever have to choose. How do you go about choosing when you like them all?

[CaraAspen]

"CaraAspen its funny you start off with stating that some of the ideas expressed are not for you. That’s fine, most will agree with you. I have no problem what you’d said. We all have different ideas and should be free to express them. I am here for perspective and I was very much valuing your impute. But then annielouise comes out with her hateful abusive rant and you jump right on the hateful band wagon. A closet hater who hides till a braver hater have come out. At least annielouise doesn’t hide the nature of her hate."

Oh my goodness I am truly crushed.
Get over yourself! I don't hate you or anyone else. Lol

Keep a sense of proportion and let's hope that is applied to your loooooooooong posts, too.

[CaraAspen]

Oh and I skim read most of the OP which might explain how I missed the fascinating minutiae of your ideas.
People tend not to wade through masses and masses of me me me stuff.

[CaraAspen]

"To be honest you're so up yourself I only skimmed over the rest. You love pontificating by the sound of it and the length of your posts. Go pontificate down a rabbit hole or whatever you mentioned in a previous post. Self-absorbed doesn't cover it."

Glad I wasn't the only one. Jeez

[CaraAspen]

Skimming the posts, I mean.

[CaraAspen]

"annielouise:

...Cant' believe you're expecting the women on here to sit and analyse it for you. Good luck to the women you come across. I don't think I'm the only one thinking this."

Yes, the irony of that was not lost on me.
Most mumsnet posters will treat this with the derision it so richly deserves. Imo