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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Warning about posting in the Relationships Topic on Mumsnet

370 replies

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/01/2017 16:33

Don't do it if you don't want your personal stories lifted and splashed all over the Mail Online.

The DM used to restrict themselves to copying and pasting mainly made up (Penis Beaker), lighthearted or neutral threads.

But now they are quite happy to publish deeply personal and very identifying threads too from people posting at crisis point.

I do actually foresee Mumsnet's inability to prevent this being the end of the website tbh. Or MN as we know and love it, anyway.

I know we've had a zillion threads about this already, but I just want to remind people again:

Don't post on Mumsnet if you don't want your thread to be reproduced in the Mail Online.

OP posts:
SortAllTheThings · 04/01/2017 16:34

Oh god, another one? :(

Which one was it, out of interest?

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 04/01/2017 16:37

I think you're absolutely right bibbety. And I agree that it will make posters more cautious. Very sad.

wizzywig · 04/01/2017 16:38

Oh crap. Dont they have to ask permission first?

SortAllTheThings · 04/01/2017 16:39

This is really putting me off posting actually. There's something I could do with some advice on, but can't risk it.

I've just remembered the media bit
www.mumsnet.com/media

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/01/2017 16:45

They don't wizzy, and it has been long established that they don't.

However, there are many thousands of posters here who apparently still don't realise this.

I just want to make people aware. Then, if they have no objection to the Mail lifting it, they can carry on if they choose to do so.

I withdrew a long thread recently because someone kindly reminded me that it was perfect Mail Online fodder.

OP posts:
WriterNeedsHelp2017 · 04/01/2017 16:51

That was an interesting link - I hadn't seen that before. One thing that gets me is that they'll actually quote MNHQ's post as they pull a thread to "take a look at it" - so basically they know it's likely to be a made up thread, but still print it, deletion message and all.

WellErrr · 04/01/2017 16:59

I do actually foresee Mumsnet's inability to prevent this being the end of the website tbh. Or MN as we know and love it, anyway

I think this too.

They don't seem bothered at all. But why would they be? Think of the advertising revenue.

It's certainly put me off posting anything other than light hearted stuff.

CockacidalManiac · 04/01/2017 17:08

Which one was it, out of interest?

The one where the husband fell for his assistant, and told the OP on NYE

SilkThreads · 04/01/2017 17:11

OH, that's horrible.

I have been 'recognised' in the past on MN and it was really difficult.

but all over the papers would be worse.

Vile Sad

perhaps we should all change our usernames to:

DailyMailFail/stinks/rubbishjournos or something?

Peanutbutterrules · 04/01/2017 17:12

Its particularly vile when it's about relationship breakups where the OP is clearly vulnerable.

Simonneilsbeard · 04/01/2017 17:12

This is horrible.
Using people's heartache to generate clicks on their posts. Iv seen them on Facebook but I tend not to read them.
It's shitty, kind of immoral and just lazy journalism.

fallenempires · 04/01/2017 17:14

That's disgusting and journalism at its' lowest.I feel desperately sorry for the OP,talk about kicking someone when they're down.Sad

CockacidalManiac · 04/01/2017 17:14

Perhaps MNHQ need to add this warning to the one at the top of all Relationships posts

CockacidalManiac · 04/01/2017 17:16

And there's a similar post on AIBU or CHAT where there's a lot of 'what do you expect?' Victim blaming going on.

LumelaMme · 04/01/2017 17:19

It's shitty, kind of immoral and just lazy journalism.
It IS immoral. They're making money out of someone's pain. Bloody horrible. I hope they feel ashamed of themselves, but I doubt it, somehow.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass · 04/01/2017 17:20

Yes it's gotten a lot worse in the past 6 months or so hasn't it? I rarely post a thread anyway but it's put me off even contributing to some threads just in case it's lifted.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/01/2017 17:22

I'm getting a bit tired of that eye-rolly "what did you expect" response tbh.

People are clearly still not aware. And those who are probably still feel that the Mail wouldn't be so repulsive as to publish deeply personal and serious threads. But they do. And posters who come to Mumsnet for advice and support need to know. And I'd bet most would choose not to post if they knew their innermost thoughts and feelings would be published online in a controversial national newspaper. Which is why I believe MN will just quietly die.

OP posts:
Fallonjamie · 04/01/2017 17:23

I don't think this will result in the end of MN. I think it brings more people to the site.

WellErrr · 04/01/2017 17:26

It will be the end of Mumsnet as it was. Which is a crying shame.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/01/2017 17:28

Yes, it does bring more people to the site, but it will be a site where nothing meaningful or personal can be discussed. Which means it will all be a pile of fluffy nothingness which is surely unsustainable in the long term?

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 04/01/2017 17:29

I think it brings more people to the site.

Especially trolls

Peanutbutterrules · 04/01/2017 17:29

I suspect it will be an ebb and flow thing. Initially more visits to the site from the Daily Mail, then less and less genuine content in the relationships boards. Other boards will be okay but if enough people get burnt by the Daily Mail, over time, it will affect peoples willingness to post

LineyReborn · 04/01/2017 17:36

So what's to stop the Daily Mail going on to, say, Plenty of Fish or Match and pulling profiles and publishing them?

Copyright infringement I'd imagine.

But MN doesn't apply the same rights to its content? Why not? I think I'd really like an answer to this.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/01/2017 17:38

Interesting question Liney.

OP posts:
Badders123 · 04/01/2017 17:39

It's not just the DM to be fair.
The independent do it too