Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

Morning babes! Welcome Elf! I second what everyone has said about your bravery, well done for being honest with your GP, I can't even be truly honest with my DH about how much my drinking worries me so I am so impressed by you.

Guggs sending hugs, sounds like you're having a tough time with your DS, sometimes it is the clever buggers who create the most problems - is he being challenged at school? Could it be that some of his behaviour stems from boredom? I work in a secondary school and am with revolting challenging adolescents all day and I promise you that it will get better! Everything at that age is a phase.

Dubh, well done for resisting, duvet-gate would have sent me over the edge.

Elba, glad you're finally getting some good sleep, think the decision to cut your hours is a good one, who cares whether other people do 50+ hours, you need to think about what's best for you and take care of yourself.

Lunk, you can do this, sending .

Oops...posted too soon.

Lovely Spanna, sorry to hear you down about work, sounds like a shitty situation but you can only do the best you can do with the resources you've got. I'm learning in my job that it's so frustrating when the big wigs don't understand what us little people need at work in order to function properly but if you let it get to you it will do your head in.

I had one of those days yesterday when you get into bed and can't believe what you've achieved in only one day! Very busy day at work followed by two hour dull dull productive meeting, then I got home, ran 6kms, went out for dinner with DH and all of it AF! I think the cravings are finally subsiding a bit. Most of the above was only possible because my lovely in-laws had my DSs staying with them last night, but I definitely feel the boing this morning!

Have a great day babes!

Morning.

Disturbed but not awful sleep - and I feel very, 'present' this morning, just more here and aware. Anyone else get that and able to articulate it more eloquently?

I was thinking about money , and drinking. And those of you who might be struggling financially (and feeling a little embarrassed about my trip in relation to how other people might struggle). So, this might be an essay, but bear with me.

I give/gave no second thought to spending upwards of £60 per week on wine - that's just for me, doesn't include DH or guests. That's at least a bottle per day, doesn't include the odd beer or gin that I'd have to start with in the mistaken belief that I wouldn't open the wine after that . And doesn't include 'going out'. Christmas was worse (add the vanilla vodka I had to replace before DH spotted I'd got through the whole bottle, the brandy, the extra large bottle of gin.) So, all of that, but I'd procrastinated at booking a visit to a friend for months (years actually). The flight is a lot of money, but actually it's my average alcohol spend between Jan 1st and Feb 18th - That's dry Jan plus 2.5 weeks. That is not a lot of time. And which is going to be more fulfilling? What am I going to remember in a year, ten years time?

So, even if you can't physically put the money aside, do an honest audit, keep track. You may find you have an extra few pounds to pay off a credit card at the end of the month, or that you didn't have to use it so much, so the payment you made actually brought down the balance. It's not sexy, but it really makes a difference to your mental health. I have been very deeply in debt (Thanks DS's fuckwit father ), putting DJ savings towards getting out of that would be a real gift to yourselves.

Sorry for such a serious start to the day. I'm off to take SweetDog to the groomer, so by this afternoon he will be sleek and streamlined instead of a shaggy hairy bear.

Morning all, lovely morning! You're all doing brilliantly, remember to pat yourselves on the back 🌟 Have a good day everyone xxx

Morning everybody, boing dee boing dee boing!
May I add Skippy the bush Kangaroo to the playlist? Great nights sleep

What a lovely peaceful picture Spanna

Good post about money Sweet I know I have mentioned things are not great financially with me, the last couple of years have been very rocky.
I am lucky in that I am a fairly optimistic type who feels the only way is up and anyway my horoscope for the year say that I will find my fortune in 2017 I cling on to that!
Things should turn around soon all being well and I will be able to set proper budgets that hopefully don't include £40 for booze a week.
I say budget, even the Queen budgets right? It's not another word for struggle, I just like to be in control, something that has been lacking on all fronts over the last few years (money, alcohol, my temper)

So, here we are, day 11 for me, whether you're on day 11 or day 1 or just thinking about cutting back a little we totally rock.

Wishing everybody a fantastic day

Morning all just heading off to my first Pilates class

Right, where is he? Where's the tank? Barrie, over here you slippery bastard.
SLAP, slap,slappety , slap.

Ah good! Feel much better now. I am slowly slipping into Irish mammy martyrdom. Bugger that.

margie wow you must have some energy levels. Go girl! There is nothing on earth that could induce me to work with teens. Shudder.
It isn't that ds needs to be challenged rather that he is on a mission to be the most challenging infant in England. He's a bugger. He can't attend mainstream for more than a few hours a week and we were turned down for ECHP ( because they're crap) so no chance at a specialist unit

sweet you are absolutely right. I've always found my bank balance to be a bit of a mystery, apart from when I did a long stint sober and strangely, money stayed put in my account. I can't say that I even enjoyed drinking in the weeks up to Christmas, it was just habit.

Skippy the bush kangaroo??? Ha ha! That & lassie & black beauty were my favourite childhood tv programs ever! What's that you say lassie? The ww is lost down the well? Leave her there!

Oh and my luxury yesterday was to wear thermal tights. Mmmmmm lovely warm legs and toes.

Gorgeous picture spanna
Waves at smallfox elba and ma dubh and everyone xx
Day 11 whooo hooo!

Morning all! Just saying hello really. Nothing to report, still not drinking, still eating healthy food, and incredibly bored!!

Another promising looking morning Spanna

OK Small so I did a bit of googling (me procrastinating? Never ) The answer to do bitters count? varies between "Not strictly non-alcoholic" so a bit like a vegetarian eating jelly sweets or drinking wine , and "A few drops in a glass has negligible alcoholic content" so more like the beef (or is it pork?) content of the new £5 notes! I know it used to be a favourite recommendation on the Dry Jan threads (haven't looked this year). Not sure if that's of any help at all!

But here's a link I found whilst researching with some interesting looking recipes for mocktails

Margie what an amazing day, keep it up.

Lux at least you know your fortune won't be at the bottom of a bottle!

Sober, I used to love pilates - there's something very satisfying about that feeling that you dare not even laugh the next day because your stomach muscles are so sore - or is that just me?

Guggs me too over Christmas - sometimes I was just drinking to fill the time before I could stop for DJ. That is really warped thinking. I hope DS has a better week, the whole system is so fucked up right now; schools, health care, social care and all of the stress is falling on the people on the front line and the people they are trying to help, not the bastards with power.

Morning Mips and everyone else. Made how is the job going? And Mouse, hope you're ok.

Everyone else, pop back and say hello, even if DJ isn't going the way you planned. If you're new to the bus and still not in the swing of it, don't worry, it always moves fast at this time of year. Don't worry about name checking or remembering who is who - that takes time, just keep posting about yourself, it really does help.

Love your name, LauraMipsum (is your surname Dolorsitamet?!)

Thanks again for the welcome, everyone. I drank last night, but only red wine, no gin, and felt in control and didn't pass out on the sofa. This is pretty good for me. I'll be back later...

Thatll be my next name change elf! I am impressed with your courage seeing the GP. I need to talk to mine (about anxiety not alcohol) and I'm irrationally terrified of what she might say.

DP who is completely TT will very occasionally when pressed by my dad have bitters so I count it as non alcoholic.

Likewise communion wine although I learned on Sunday that alcoholic Catholics can ask for some sort of wine exemption.

Ha, Mips that's funny about communion wine. There was a time - not so long ago - when I was v grumpy to discover on going to church (chapel, I guess) with Methodist friends, that there was only communion ribena on offer. Give me high church Merlot any day, I thought.

Thanks all, re bitters. I quite like a couple of drops in diet lemonade (each to her own).

Sweet you are so, so right about pre Christmas drinking. Sometimes I would nobly haul myself out of bed, raging hangover in hand, and start plodding through the next bottle, purely because I wouldn't be drinking in Jan so needed to make the most of it now. Crazy stuff. Knew it was crazy at the time too, but still did it.

Waves to all - sorry, at work so can't nc properly.

Memory lane Lux with Skippy.
It's 5 to 5 and it's Crackerjack - made me think of that.

Just had me brows, tash & chin threaded - fuck it hurt and she fucked up one eyebrow, I am very fussy that'll be my luxury today. Lovely sunny day today, been for brunch, bra shopping with DD1, currently waiting for her to finish councilling, first one in 3 weeks. A good mum/daughter day so far

Sweet stashing the money that I haven't spent on booze is something I really wish I'd done - it adds up so quickly - if you can ladies, do it!!! My app tells me it's near on £9k (yes I know )

Mip it is boring as there's a huge hole in our time when we would have been drinking. Try to find stuff to do - distract distract distract.

DD1 just got in car. Laters ladies xx

Hope DD is ok, counselling can really take it out of you.

Sweet, Fox, I am SO with you, I drank in December like someone was paying me to do it. I don't fully understand mindfulness but there was no thought there whatsoever, it was mindless drinking. I got up on Boxing Day with a wretched hangover, having had a ridiculous drunken fight with my brother, and was back on the booze by lunchtime. It didn't even occur to me that I could choose not to drink.

Afternoon Ladies.
The normal pattern of the day. Work. Gym. Home.
I like the sound of saving the wine money. Unfortunately I have replaced wine with a ebay habit.
On a good note, I had my weight in at the gym and I have lost 3lbs this week. 😄
And yes to the present dry January drinking. I did that too.

FFS! Pre dry. Not present!

Scary scary journey home. The wind is so bad it almost blew us off the road. We have a high top converted transit. And the farm is freezing. Our boiler had run out of pellets whilst out. Just thrown some coal on the fire and trying to thaw out before going to the barn to top it up.. This is one time I really could do with a drink. Its justified!

Mint what a rubbish start to the evening - on the other hand . . . Well done on the weight loss.

Margie, I really didn't want it, I was willing December to end. Alcohol really warps your thinking.

Just looking at the weather for tomorrow - heavy rain turning to heavy snow tomorrow. Right at the point I will be leaving work - the one day this week I can't work from home

I've not really felt like WW has been around today (not to say she won't), perhaps she really is down the well! I'm trying to remember back two years when I had a really long af period (over 70 days I think), Small got to over 100 , to think when the constant cravings did properly go, I think it's a bit early for that yet, but it does happen.

It's awful here in South Ayrshire right now. If we get snow tomorrow I won't be able to get to work as they don't grit our back road and the farm track will be terrible. We are on top of a hill.

Keep warm and safe everyone.

Very tired so going to say goodnight now.
Hope we all sleep x

Sorry not to NC but my eyes are closing.

What a day. Road bridge closed so a journey which should have taken 25 minutes too me 2 hours this morning! Left Edinburgh ( the airport so right near the bridge) at 4pm and finally got home at 7.15!! Nose to tail almost all the way, pitch dark, snow showers.....Shitty

Hope everyone's okay.
Just checking in.
Wondering what people do who live with a drinker - moderate or otherwise.
If I decide to be AF on a day but H drinks I find it impossible not to join in.
Same if I meet a friend for lunch planning a lime and soda but end up with a wine if they do.

This is my problem and not theirs. Does anyone recognise this and have any ideas?

Off to bed soon with book, DC down first then early night.
Sleep well

42, with friends I rehearse, rehearse rehearse, and make sure I get to the bar and do the first round.; "I'll have a lime and soda please, what would you like, Jane?". With DH , he drinks red wine, which I have an actual intolerance to, I go purple and sneeze uncontrollably, I haven't touched red wine for 15 or so years (if only it was that easy with the rest) and it doesn't bother me. I find the cider and beer more difficult, but only if he offers, which he's under strict instructions not to at the moment. More difficult is my Dad, who doesn't 'get' people who don't drink. Fortunately he and mum live abroad, so I won't be seeing them anytime soon.

Ma what a crappy journey, would your personal trainer (dd) allow a comforting hot choc?