is there somekind of cycle/ emotional rollercoaster felt when you go nc?

[wizzywig]

me and my husband have gone nc with his parents and siblings. long story but they are narcissists and are very happy in their emeshed family set up. we broke away from it.
Whenever there are big occasions, eg, christmas, wedding anniversarys, birthdays, we tend to both feel very tense, and it feels like we are back on that horrible rollercoaster where you dissect everything they ever did and we have to go through the "we did the right thing didnt we?" process.

Is this normal? I just want to feel nothing towards them forever more. it
just seems that if we are in a situation, eg, we go away for a break, i get this instant, subconscious thought of "oh no, we havent told them we are going away. they wont know where we are, they wont like that". how long does it take for them to be out of our heads? thanks

Ive had a huge takeaway with friends so i avoided him tonight. I think i just need to hibernate/ keep my head down.
It does seem utterly crazy for a group of people who i dont live with or speak to to have this effect on me. If i feel like this why doesnt my husband want to run far far away from them?

I think because he sees it at normal. Or at least that's what he grew up with so thinks that's how families are. For 30 odd years I thought my family were normal. But deep down knew things weren't right.

Sometimes it can take a stranger to point things out though instead of someone close. Is there any way your DH would post a thread on here? Maybe asking - is my family toxic? Then as he explains things, maybe we can all help him. MN is very good for NC batshit discussions!