Sigh, can't believe I'm doing this.

[user1482775337]

First things first, I'm an avid user of this site, had to use a different username to not let people know this is all from me,

Well, where do I begin,

I'm a male! I guess that is a good start,

Well, 2016 has been another year of being nice to the wrong people, not getting anywhere with any female, being used for my good heart (Something that my male friends all agree on) still being single and getting hurt and jealous by everybody I know, as I don't see anybody else with this problem I have.

I fail to see where I'm going wrong, I start the conversation, listen, give advice, ask various questions (Just about their day etc, nothing personal or sexual) which somehow ends up with me being blanked and never spoken to again..

I don't mind listening to other people's problems and advising and helping, as it takes me away from the fact I'm pretty much failing to have a relationship,

I'm on Tinder and various other sites but I've come to notice, and read that its just on looks basis, nobody gives a damn about anything else, I've had a few matches, 3 were just scams telling me to sign up to a website for a "show" ... one was somebody just to take the piss.

At work, I do try to speak to females, but it just somehow ends up with me being insulted, like I literally just said "hello" which was met with a range of insults to "I wouldn't want to sleep with you even if you were the last guy on earth" to "I have better standards than you" .. all I said was Hello? I know I have barely any confidence, but that's taken a hell of a lot from me.

It's come down to the point that I've asked, (begged) for somebody to set me up with literally anybody, which again has been met with a sea of no's, even with the offer of money to help.

Honestly, I don't want much, just to be wanted and loved, so I feel valued, needed and not lonely. I don't know what else to do, going out on a night out is my last option but with who?

How has something so easy become so hard? Many of the people I know have cheated/are cheating on their partners, which gets me quite upset because I know deep down how happy I'd be for just one female to want me.

How can I grow in confidence when nobody wants to speak to me at all? It's effecting my day to day life, I have started to hate everything that can be associated with having a partner, for instance Christmas, giving gifts, buying her whatever she wanted, I want that.. yes I'm aware you will all think its stupid and pathetic.

There is so much I've not yet experienced, or done yet, I'm starting to believe there is really something wrong with me, it has to be the way I look because that's the first/only thing you'd know about me from the second we spoke.

I doubt anybody will get this far, but if you have thank you for listening to my rambling mess about how I've never had a relationship, and struggling to find a female just to speak to, let alone date.

I'm just a nice, quiet guy who will listen to anything you have to say, NEVER judge on anything, who will just do everything possible for you to smile,

Sigh, I can't believe my life has turned into this mess.

I think some of these posts are less for his benefit, and more for the benefit of the women who'll be crossing his path in future...

I wonder whether his lack of response is because he's decided that we are all the nasty, horrible, unladylike 'females' he keeps encountering, rather than the sweet, demure, gentle creatures he's been led to believe that females are.

Or whether it's because he's just a goady fucker and knew exactly what he was doing when he started the thread...

Purplebird 'your use of "females" is incredibly disturbing'

Really??? If that is ur idea of 'incredibly disturbing', u must lead a very, very sheltered life, or spend much of ur time feeling incredibly disturbed!

There are much worse things in life, truly, than the use of a harmless word.

Perhaps the long, crafted posts are out of kindness, AF.

An underrated virtue. Especially to one who has bared his soul and whose ' crimes ' could well be cultural rather than personal. Benefit of the doubt and all that.

away language is really important and its use can reveal a lot about a person.

'Females' is a dehumanizing word. Women are female humans. Female is a gender class of all animals.

But I know that not everyone on MN understands this. Those of us who do are irritated by those who think language doesn't matter, those who think language doesn't matter are irritated by those who know it does.

If you can't see the nuances in the language the OP is using, awayinamazda, look harder!

And stop with the text speak

Can't you go out with friends, to play sport/drink/evening class etc?

Yup, just like women get told to join a gym, take up a hobby or an evening class to meet men. No, people do that because they want to do those things - not because they want to find a new boyfriend / girlfriend

Biwi - a bit sad to look harder for nuances which could be seen as offensive imo. That advice says quite a lot... I'm definitely out!
Good luck to the OP (I should maybe say 'original poster', as I'm not allowed to use abbreviated forms for word, new rule also from BIWI...who seems to be in charge today.. ;-D).

Ah give over, springy

Women need to stop being "kind" to men like this.

I appreciate you hold great store by your diagnostic powers, AF. But I can't agree we know what kind of man this is.

As I said, op's crimes could well be cultural and not personal. Though I hope he's learned through posting here that cultural, western!, references to women can be deeply offensive.

Kind doesn't mean soft or stupid btw.

Why not be kind to him? Maybe he grew up around mysogonistic men so he doesn't know any better?

Maybe he's got SN which means he struggles in social situations.

Everyone deserves the chance to learn from their mistakes and move forward. He's asking for advice, so maybe he will take it, learn from it and move forward in the right direction.

I appreciate you hold great store by your diagnostic powers, AF^

That's getting quite close to a individual personal attack.

Goady fuckers love it when women turn on each other too.

Yes it was tart, AF. Apologies for that, I realised too late it came across too strongly.

I'[m not turning you AF. Just not agreeing, is all.

Goady fuckers love it when women turn on each other too.

Tbh, I think that's going to be pretty close to the mark.

Use some misogynistic language, express some misogynistic ideas and then watch the thinking vs non thinking women thrash it out.

I also agree that an "avid user of the site" would already be aware of these nuances.

Youch Ghost!

Blimey, pretty cutting. What's the deal?

It puts the lotion on its skin.

Creepy ass post.

It could have been written by my extremely abusive ex husband.

Which bit, springy ?

This asshole came into my mind while reading that OP!

If people have enough spare time to be "kind" to every creepy guy who shows up on the internet, I guess it's up to them how they choose to use that time.

Of course they may be accidentally fueling that creepy guy's belief that he is entitled to women's time and attention..

Stop looking for love!! Go and learn how to be happy single, genuinely happy and you never know what may come of it down the track. There are so many single people out there, it isn't a big deal. Start pursuing hobbies, exercise, holidays! No one will love someone who doesn't love themself. It will happen on its own when it's meant to.

The OP seems to have disappeared. Maybe it was just a wind up.