Anyone else happy to stay single forever

[Gorgeoussunset]

I am divorced and have been single for 5 years now. I genuinely do not hate men and have many male friends and some family. But unlike some of my female friends I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't have any need for a man in my life, and don't see that changing. I'm a bit surprised to feel like this, but not regretful. Some of my friends claim to understand but then go on about meeting the right person etc. Wonder if anyone else feels this way?

[Newbrummie]

Half the man's goods ? What that he acquired whilst married to her ?
Nothing has changed in 200 years. If my kids threatened to get married I'll bloody crown them !

[Enb76]

i don't miss sex. I sometimes miss having someone to go to the theatre or out to dinner with but not that often.

[noego]

Is the institution known as marriage slowly imploding? Will there be marriage in 50 or 100 years time?

[singleandfabulous]

Just catching up on all these comments.

Sixteen what can I say. Your post made me very sad. I hope you're getting the help you need.

1Dad2Kids you sound very generous and big hearted but I think you'd be wise to protect yourself if you get involved with anyone again. Always hold something of yourself back (self preservation and all that).

I do see many relationships I admire, many of them long standing and happy and a few short-term ones. All of them have one thing in common - both parties treat each other with kindness and they have fun together. It's lovely to see.

Allofaflumble I quite like overweight balding men actually, if they have a twinkle in their eye and a good line in patter.

[Lorelei76]

Enb76 - sorry if this is a painful question but do you have friends you can go with?

[Shiningexample]

Half the man's goods ? What that he acquired whilst married to her ?
Nothing has changed in 200 years
indeed you may think you're in a democracy but in his mind its a dictatorship and you are a mere chattel

[CondensedMilkSarnies]

I've resigned myself to being single forever now . The only thing I feel
Sad about is that I'll never be kissed again .

[Vistaverde]

I've been single for five years and I am generally happy this way. I feel that during that time I have carved out a nice life for me and DS. I do sometimes get lonely though and miss the companionship but I am not sure I could have a full on cohabiting relationship now though. I have tried OLD but so far the dates I have been on have been so so and I don't want to just settle for someone just for the sake of being in a relationship.

[Newbrummie]

Shiningexample. I'm under no illusions I'm in a democracy at all, cottoned on to that a long time ago

[1DAD2KIDS]

I disagree Newbrummie to a certain extent when it comes to access to children or who is residential parent. It's sad that 96% of people applying to the court for access to their children are men. It tell of a system that suggest that women should naturally have charge of the children and the decision making. Sadly so often is the case that children are use as a pawn in a bitter war between splitting parents. I think the courts replicate to a certain extent societal view that it is the woman's role to raise children. That society expects the woman to naturally have the children after a break up. Or at least be the residential parent. This role is often reinforced by the courts. Of course custody and family courts battles are often bitter and often both parties end up thinking they did not get what they want from it. But anyway that is a distraction from the question. My point was that whole dealing with family courts and potential for what a lot of men see as poor deal is another factor putting men of marriage. If marriage is an institution ment to favour men it's doing a rubbish job in the 21 century. I think me and women are growing apart.

Shiningexample as I agree with you to a certain extent it's more about understanding the perception that men have that puts them of marriage. I guess the same will become true for women as more and more work in high paid fields. That considering more women than men are now getting university places. I think more and more people are wanting to protect the fruits of their labour. I know to an extent everyone's contributes to a marriage (not just financial) but I wouldn't say the level of effort/commitment is always 50/50 so someone misses out. I guess more will want to just be independent and be responsible for their own assets without the consequence of having to divide it with another. I think that is something that is putting men off marriage and may in future result in more women being put off it too. The modern world seems to offer more oppertunities for everyone to be independent so I do wonder if marriage has a future.

I know personally speaking I would never want to get married again (without a prenuptial agreement). I know it's not romantic but I have worked hard to get where I am and the two houses I have. I am 33 and hopefully have secured a nice future for me and the kids. I am nothing special. Born poor, worked hard and made good choices on the whole. The way I see it is any wealth I have is not mine; it belongs to my kids and their future. So I am determined to protect that future for them. I have yet to have ever dated anyone with more assets or earnings than me (sorry i bet that make me sound a bit of a dick, like that guy of Harry Einfield) so as cold as it sounds marriage would put at risk the things I have done to secure mine and my children's future. I think it's fair to only want to protect the things you have worked for before you get with someone.

[Newbrummie]

What you have going into a marriage you generally keep. Where I was a bloody idiot was selling my assets to combine them with his for a better life. Don't do that.
96% of Nrp may well be men, but that's because they fuck off first then think oh wait I've got kids. After they've found somebody else, moved on etc.

[Shiningexample]

Obviously when forming a partnership both parties should think about what happens if the partnership is later dissolved

[Shiningexample]

The costs and burdens of producing and raising children fall largely to women

Children are not pets or hobbies that women have as a way of indulging themselves, they are vital for the continuation of the human race, if we are not properly compensated for this vital service, the physical, mental and economic sacrifice we will say 'fuck it, I want a good job, I want my free time to be me time'

IMO young women increasingly see motherhood as an unattractive option

[Allofaflumble]

singleandfabulous I happen to like overweight, baldy guys too. My problem with this guy was him talking about how he fancied the Sugababes, The Saturdays and his ideal woman being Liz Hurley.

I find that a bit strange for a man in his mid fifties. Or maybe I'm strange!!

I just can't imagine going on a date and listing all the guys I fancy off the TV.

[singleandfabulous]

Allofaflumble I cant see anything wrong in him fancying those women to be fair, the error he made was in being insensitive by telling you. At least Liz Hurley is his age. God, she looks amazing.

[Enb76]

To Lorelei76

Yes. But not men. I miss (at times) the different perspective. I have some good friends and occasionally borrow a husband to help me put up sheds and things but doubt anyone would be pleased if I borrowed a husband to go to the cinema with :)

[QueenyLaverne]

I've just come out of a LTR and am 33 years old. The relationship stuff aside I'm in turmoil as I have had to move back in with my parents and cannot see anyway for me to ever live independently from them while single. I just can't afford to rent a place of my own let alone ever buy one. This is more scary to me than never having sex again!
I just can't earn enough with my skill set and the type of jobs I do to be independent while single.

[Allofaflumble]

She does look amazing I agree. Oh well maybe he got lucky in the end with a twenty year old. I totally understand him finding them attractive. Just don't go on about it on a date.

[Lorelei76]

Enb76, I don't find my male friends to be different than my female friends. Interesting.

Queeny - could you rent a room off someone who is away a lot? I had to do 2 jobs for a while. It is so worth it to live alone, believe me.

[Lorelei76]

Enb76 - PS - you don't need a man to put up a shed?! I'm not lucky enough to have a garden but have helped those who are to put up sheds!

[Newbrummie]

QueenyLaverne - become an au pair travel the world and live rent free !

[Zebra999]

I miss sex and I miss the companionship in the evenings

But I'm perfectly happy. I've been single all year and haven't even dated (mainly time pressures putting me off - I work full time and single parent etc.)

I'd like another relationship but I'm in no rush and certainly wouldn't compromise and accept something for the sake of just having a partner (which I do think a lot of women do)

[Gorgeoussunset]

I quite liked sixteenclumsyandshy's idea about the time out