A bit of background. DW has a problem with affection and intimacy, as in its not important to her. Not just sex but no kissing, hugs, hand holding, unprompted words of love etc. etc. Its just how she is. She was never that lovey dovey but in the last decade its got progressively worse and she believes that its just how people are when they go through from their mid 30's to mid 40's.
Feeling totally rejected I had a bit of a breakdown early this year and brought it to a head eventually, after a 2 year absence, we DTD some weeks later and have repeated it twice albeit the last time was over 6 months ago.
No effort is made on her behalf to address the problem she admits to having, despite her knowing how it makes me feel and eventually 3 months ago I simply gave up being the source of affection as I was thoroughly exhausting it being a one way street and I'm fed up with getting my hopes up only to be disappointed time and again.
I can't carry on this way and don't think its unreasonable to expect a little tenderness in a relationship. I do however love her, I love us being a family and I think she does kind of love me but more as a best friend than husband. Half of me wants to leave and find a "real" relationship but I fear how it would affect my relationship with my children if I did and I really don't want to hurt my wife; when we last discussed it she didn't want me to leave and was entirely happy with the relationship.
I wonder if an open relationship might be a way forward, some way for me to get some of the affection I crave but not destroy the family unit. I have no idea how such a suggestion would be met, and I see various potential problems, but I wonder if any people on here have tried one and if so how did it work out?
I appreciate that it may sound like I'm trying to have my cake and eat it and I guess to some extent I am but I don't think the situation I'm in is fair either. One question I have asked myself an don't know the answer is how I would feel if we had an OR and she met someone she did want to show affection to, but I guess that would put our current relationship into context.